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GA Review

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Reviewer: Calvin • 999 12:07, 11 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

  1. Is it well written?
    A. The prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct:
    B. It complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation:
  2. Is it verifiable with no original research, as shown by a source spot-check?
    A. It contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline:
    B. Reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose):
    C. It contains no original research:
    D. It contains no copyright violations nor plagiarism:
  3. Is it broad in its coverage?
    A. It addresses the main aspects of the topic:
    B. It stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style):
  4. Is it neutral?
    It represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each:
  5. Is it stable?
    It does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute:
  6. Is it illustrated, if possible, by images?
    A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content:
    B. Images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
  7. Overall:
    Pass or Fail:
  • Info box
  1. Change Ne-Yo to Shaffer "Ne-Yo" Smith
    Why? Adabow (talk · contribs) 04:53, 12 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
    Because other GA articles feature the writers actual name. Like on the Upgrade U article, it says Shawn Carter, not Jay-Z. Same with the Irreplaceable article, it says Shaffer "Ne-Yo" Smith, not Ne-Yo.
    Other articles are irrelevant. There is no policy or guideline on this matter, and stage names are just as correct, if not more correct than legal names. Also not part of GA criteria. Adabow (talk · contribs) 04:51, 15 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Lead info
  1. "included on the re-release of her second studio album, B'Day Deluxe Edition (2007)." → "included on the re-released deluxe edition of her second studio album, B'Day (2006) in 2007." When you click B'Day Deluxe Edition, it re-directs to B'Day, so change it to "B'Day (2006) in 2007"
    Done. Adabow (talk · contribs) 04:53, 12 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  2. Again, change Ne-Yo to Shaffer "Ne-Yo" Smith
    Why? Adabow (talk · contribs) 04:53, 12 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  3. "Beyoncé Knowles and Taylor produced the R&B record" You say Beyonce's full name, but not Shea's? Remove "Beyonce" and just use both their surnames as forenames have been perviously mentioned. And remove "the R&B record" and replace with "the song"
    This is to clarify between Beyonce Knowles and Solange Knowles. Also, why remove what genre it is? Adabow (talk contribs) 04:53, 12 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
    Oh right yeah of course, put Shea Taylor instead of just Taylor to match Beyonce Knowles. I just don't think "the R&B record" is appropriate for this section, I agree with the last GA reviewer.
    Last names should generally be used, however this sentence is an exception due to two Knowles being mentioned. I have rephrased the lead and removed the word "record". Adabow (talk · contribs) 22:25, 15 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  4. "was directed by Cliff Watts and co-directed by Knowles" → "was co-directed by Cliff Watts and Knowles". Don't over complicate it.
  5. Adabow, could I just make a small point? I wrote on the B'Day review to include "the" before "B'Day Anthology Video Album", and you said no, but you have actually written "the B'Day Anthology Video Album" here, which does make more sense to read.
    Theuhohreo wrote that, but I have changed it for consistency with the B'Day and BAVA articles. Adabow (talk · contribs) 04:53, 12 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Background
  1. "written by Beyoncé Knowles, sister Solange Knowles, Ne-Yo and Shea Taylor." This is the second different combination you have used to write the order of the writers. The lead info features a different combination. Could you pick one and stick with it for consistency?
    Done. Adabow (talk · contribs) 04:53, 12 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Live performances
  1. "Knowles gave a full-length performance of the song, dressed in a silvery, translucent slip and golden, sparkling panties" WP:OR Source? And I don't like the wording or choice or words.
    Supported by citation 14 (TBEL). Adabow (talk · contribs) 04:53, 12 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  2. "It was executed" Don't use executed, use a different word.
    Removed the sentence as it was untrue. Adabow (talk · contribs) 04:53, 12 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  3. Could you give a bit of background info as to why she performed the song on Ellen whilst promoting IASF? She sang it because it is one Ellen's most favourite songs and she really likes the meaning of it, and specifically requested that B sung the song. You might not be able to find a source though, but she does say it during the interview on Youtube.
    Will look into it. Adabow (talk · contribs) 04:53, 12 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
    Sorry, I can't find the interview. Can you give me a link? Adabow (talk · contribs) 04:51, 15 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  4. "When Knowles performed "Flaws and All" on the I Am... Tour, she wore a glittery gold leotard. As she sang, animations of turntables, faders, and other club gear were displayed.[22]" She only performed in once on the opening night, it wasn't apart of the actual tour set list. Look here and have a look.
  5. "When Knowles performed "Flaws and All" on the I Am... Tour, she wore a glittery gold leotard" WP:OR Source?
    I think Theuhohreo confused FAA with Freakum Dress in that source. I can't find any reliable sources mentioning FAA on I Am Tour so I removed the info. Adabow (talk · contribs) 04:53, 12 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  6. ""Flaws and All" was not included on the tour's live album, I Am... World Tour (2010).[23]" This isn't needed I don't think. She sang Sweet Dreams but it wasn't included.
  7. Those two sentences look awkward, make the entire Live performance section just one paragraph.
  • Credits and personel
  1. Change Ne-Yo to Shaffer "Ne-Yo" Smith
    Why? Adabow (talk · contribs) 04:53, 12 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
    As explained above, you should use his actual name, especially in the credits.
    Replied above. Adabow (talk · contribs) 22:25, 15 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • References
  1. Why is reference 14 The Beyoncé Experience Live wikipedia article? It doesn't even contain the info. Use a proper website source.
    The reference is the DVD. Not every reference needs to be an online source. Adabow (talk · contribs) 04:53, 12 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  2. One problematic link, Connection issue
    No issues for me. None of them is dead, right? That's the only thing that counts. Adabow (talk · contribs) 04:53, 12 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
    So connection issues aren't a problem?
    No, see WP:WGN. Adabow (talk · contribs) 04:45, 15 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]


Not bad, just a few prose issues :). On hold for 7 days. Calvin • 999 12:27, 11 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]


I have put a strike though points you have addressed, and put words in bold for either points you have not addressed or that I have replied to. Calvin • 999 13:07, 12 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]


Passed :)Calvin • 999 15:33, 17 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]

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