Talk:Fill the Void/GA1
GA Review
[edit]GA toolbox |
---|
Reviewing |
Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch
Reviewer: Wadewitz (talk · contribs) 19:38, 19 July 2013 (UTC)
I'm reviewing this article! I look forward to learning about this film! Wadewitz (talk) 19:38, 19 July 2013 (UTC)
- Thank you very much for reviewing! --1ST7 (talk) 20:16, 19 July 2013 (UTC)
This is an excellent start - thanks so much for working on this article! Here are my suggestions for improvement:
1) Well-written: In general, this article is well-written. There are just a few spots that need some smoothing over. I hope you don't mind I did a bit of copyediting as I was reading!
Burshtein took a step-by-step approach - This is unclear and needs to be made more specific.They remain distant from one another afterwards - Can you clarify who "they" are?In general, the plot section is a bit hard to follow. Do you think you could tighten it up a bit by removing some of the detail?I added a few links (please check them!), but didn't know the most appropriate for "Hebrew blessings". What would you suggest?The "Filming" section is quite disjointed and relies a lot on quotation. Can you paraphrase some of these quotations and make the paragraphs flow into each other better?
2) Verifiable with no original research: The sources look good for a recent film article.
3) Broad in coverage:
- The material you have in "Writing" seems better suited to a "Themes" section to me, which is missing. How about creating one, with material from reviews, and adding this? For example, the review by Keough you cite in the "Critical reviews" section mentions themes about self-sacrifice and self-preservation. Drawing on other reviews, you could flesh that out.
- It is not clear to me that the fourth paragraph in the "Casting" section is necessary, since it is just a list.
- The "Filming" section could easily be expanded, as the reviews have material that you can use to build up this section, such as the one from Slant.
The "Reception" section needs to include box office statistics, if they are available.
4) Neutral: The only hesitation I have on this point is that the "Critical reviews" section only mentions positive reviews of the film. Perhaps they really dominated, but did none of the reviews say anything negative at all?
5) Stable: Yes
6) Images: Fair use/OTRS checks out. I improved the fair use rationale for the movie poster a bit.
I hope this is helpful - please ask any questions you have and I will be happy to clarify! I would anticipate that these changes would take no more than a few days and I look forward to passing the article then. Again, thank you so much for working on this article! Wadewitz (talk) 20:28, 19 July 2013 (UTC)
- Thanks for the suggestions. I'll start working on it. --1ST7 (talk) 21:06, 19 July 2013 (UTC)
- 1) Well-written
- Burshtein took a step-by-step approach -
Fixed. --1ST7 (talk) 21:22, 19 July 2013 (UTC)
- They remain distant from one another afterwards -
Fixed. --1ST7 (talk) 21:22, 19 July 2013 (UTC)
- In general, the plot section is a bit hard to follow. - I tried to trim down the detail so it's easier to follow. --1ST7 (talk) 21:40, 19 July 2013 (UTC)
- "Hebrew blessings" -
Done. I added a link to "List of Jewish prayers and blessings". I hope that's okay. --1ST7 (talk) 21:24, 19 July 2013 (UTC)
- "Filming" -
Done. I did some paraphrasing and tried to connect the facts more. --1ST7 (talk) 23:21, 19 July 2013 (UTC)
- Burshtein took a step-by-step approach -
- 3) Broad in coverage
- Added in themes. --1ST7 (talk) 00:21, 21 July 2013 (UTC)
- I think the full cast needs to be mentioned somewhere. Would it be better if I put it in list format? --1ST7 (talk) 05:14, 20 July 2013 (UTC)
- I added some information to the filming section. --1ST7 (talk) 05:14, 20 July 2013 (UTC)
- Box office statistics -
Done --1ST7 (talk) 05:14, 20 July 2013 (UTC)
- 4) Neutral
Fixed - added two more negative reviews. --1ST7 (talk) 05:14, 20 July 2013 (UTC)
- 1) Well-written
Okay, the only thing left right now is the fourth paragraph in the "Casting" section. I'm still uncertain about what to do with it; should I just delete it or convert it to list format? I think everything else is taken care of. --1ST7 (talk) 00:21, 21 July 2013 (UTC)
In a few hours, I'm not going to be able to respond to anything on Wikipedia until Friday (July 26). I was hoping this would be done before then, but it looks like it's going to take a little more time. Please wait until I'm able to respond again and do not fail the review because of the wait. --1ST7 (talk) 18:29, 22 July 2013 (UTC)
- Okay, I'm back now and can respond again. Thanks for waiting. --1ST7 (talk) 19:35, 26 July 2013 (UTC)
- I think the "Themes" section could still be expanded some more, but it is sufficient for GA. Also, I don't think a full cast list is necessary in an encyclopedia article. IMDB really covers that sort of thing and the article has a link to the IMDB entry. If you want to include the information, however, a list would be preferable to a paragraph - it is easier to read. I'm passing this now - great work! Wadewitz (talk) 20:09, 26 July 2013 (UTC)
- Thank you! --1ST7 (talk) 20:41, 26 July 2013 (UTC)
- I think the "Themes" section could still be expanded some more, but it is sufficient for GA. Also, I don't think a full cast list is necessary in an encyclopedia article. IMDB really covers that sort of thing and the article has a link to the IMDB entry. If you want to include the information, however, a list would be preferable to a paragraph - it is easier to read. I'm passing this now - great work! Wadewitz (talk) 20:09, 26 July 2013 (UTC)