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Updating content on page

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Hi I work for Family Building Society and we would like to update some of the content on the page. In particular, we would like to update the business information in the box on the left hand side, (evidence can be seen in the AGM literature available on National Counties website - 2015 annual report and accounts - http://www.ncbs.co.uk/Aboutus/about-us.aspx) as stating data from 2014 is now out of date.

We would also like to include more detail about the products the building society offers. The information which was uploaded previously was of a neutral tone, there were not any promotional references to rates etc. Please could you provide more information about why the changes made were reverted.

Thank you. — Preceding unsigned comment added by EmmaNauticalStripes (talkcontribs) 11:03, 19 July 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the heads-up about your potential conflict of information. Please post your suggested text, amendments, additions here on this page, with appropriate references, and an uninvolved editor can then review your proposals and update the site as appropriate. Regards.  Velella  Velella Talk   11:06, 19 July 2016 (UTC)[reply]


Thanks for your reply Velella. The changes I would like to make are as follows. To make it clearer I have added a bullet for each different change I would like to make per section:

  • Information box on the right hand side:

-Add link to 'Banking' under Industry to the relevant wikipedia page -Add link to 'Savings' and 'Insurance' under Products to the relevant wikipedia page -Remove the total assets amount

  • Change the opening introductory paragraph to read:

The Family Building Society is a mutual building society, based in Epsom, Surrey, in the UK. It opened for business on 14 July 2014. Formed by National Counties Building Society, it was the first building society to launch in the United Kingdom since the Ecology Building Society was established in 1981.

The Society was launched based on the proposition that families can help each other financially through mortgages, savings and other products. The Family Building Society offers a range of financial products and services intended to help all generations of families tackle the problems that face today's society.

  • Add new section - Products and services

The Family Building Society offers mortgages that are designed to meet the needs of today’s homebuyers. Mortgages are available for first time buyers, those who are starting again because of separation or loss of income, or for those with sufficient savings to offset against their mortgage repayments.

The Family Mortgage is aimed at making it easier for young adults to get a foot on the property ladder. The mortgage allows family members to combine their finances to reduce repayment costs, without having to hand over their money as a gift. Subject to certain conditions, the Society will also meet a borrower’s share of the mortgage payments for up to six months if, through no fault of their own, they become unemployed.

The Low Start Mortgage is aimed at borrowers who are faced with significant changes to their financial circumstances. Borrowers may take advantage of stepped monthly payments which are very low for the first two years of the term of the mortgage. This can allow them to adjust to new financial circumstances such as divorce or taking time off for maternity or paternity leave.

The Offset Mortgage is linked to a savings account taken out with the Society. It is aimed at people wanting to make use of their savings whilst keeping their money available for other purposes. By linking a savings account to the mortgage, borrowers can reduce the amount of interest they will pay.

The Society offers a range of savings products for each member of the family. Accounts are available as a first savings account for children, to save to get on the housing ladder, to track market rates and beyond.

The Windfall Bond is one of the Society’s savings products. Savers have the opportunity to be entered into a monthly prize draw to win one of 13 prizes, the top prize for £50,000, by saving into a £10,000 bond. The bond also earns a variable rate of interest, which is linked to the Bank of England bank rate.

Family Building Society also has relationships with a number of third parties to provide insurance products and services for later life planning. Home insurance Telematics motor insurance Life and critical illness insurance Equity release Pension advice Inheritance tax Power of attorney Elderly care Property management for the retired Probate and estate administration Making a will

  • Remove all other sections. Commentary received from journalists which is currently on the page relates to the launch back in 2014. Rates and markets have changed since then, so comments could be seen to be misleading.
  • Please could you let me know if any sections in particular you have an issue with, and I will look to amend in line with your feedback. Thank you for taking the time to review these.

EmmaNauticalStripes (talk) 15:16, 20 July 2016 (UTC)[reply]

I shall leave it to an uninvolved editor to make a final determination but my view is that your changes would convert an objective article to a promotional page. Other than the 'Family Mortgage', that is your flagship product, it is unnecessary and inappropriate to list and detail all your products. Removing the 'Organisation' and 'Reception' sections would unbalance the article - sourced criticism is important to a NPOV page. If these need updating that's fine - suggest some improvements with independent sources - but removal looks unjustified. I also see no justification for removing sourced partnerships and other sourced content. Again, updates are welcome with independent reliable sources - see WP:RS and WP:CITE. Just Chilling (talk) 03:18, 21 July 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Reception

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COI accounts/IPs persistently remove this section to sanitise the article. The way forward is to add later and more positive reviews, if available. Just Chilling (talk) 19:58, 20 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]