Talk:Fag stag/GA1
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Starting to review, intial reaction is that there are some minor typographical errors to be addressed. -ΖαππερΝαππερ BabelAlexandria 21:17, 14 November 2008 (UTC)
- Reference problems:
- David's "Beyond the flamboyant Facade..." does not assert that this phrase's use has increased with acceptance of homosexuality or up to an international level.
- likewise, Cohen's "Deconstructing fag hags" does not support the statement either, it is almost exclusively about the titular terms and does not discuss fag stag's growing usage.
- Neither "gay-2-zee" nor "fantabulosa" discuss motivations.
- you do not need two references for a single quote, it's only from either one or the other:
- "[S]eeing who is tougher, stronger, who has the cooler car, and putting you down even though they say they are joking, but the gay guys I've met don't care about being 'manly' all the time"
- "something every gay could stand to learn"
- "are much better than straight people at carving a family out of their friendships"
- Style problems:
- References are good, but you rarely need three at the end of a sentence if they are saying the same thing.
- "'Fag Stag' was the name of a 2002 episode of the MTV series Undressed centered around a gay wedding."
- Your image does not qualify as fair-use, and the license under CC is at best questionable... images of people, especially famous people, need to be released by either the person themself or an authoritative agent. Find something non-person or truly free use (i'm sure you can find a CC image on flikr better showcasing fag-stags).
- the Coming out subsection is two sentences... this can surely be merged into the parent section.
- define jargon like beard
- References are good, but you rarely need three at the end of a sentence if they are saying the same thing.
- Go through and carefully typo-check, there are more than a few punctuation errors