Talk:Evolution of timpani in the 18th and 19th centuries
Evolution of timpani in the 18th and 19th centuries was a Music good articles nominee, but did not meet the good article criteria at the time. There may be suggestions below for improving the article. Once these issues have been addressed, the article can be renominated. Editors may also seek a reassessment of the decision if they believe there was a mistake. | |||||||||||||
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This article was the subject of an educational assignment that ended on 2010. Further details are available here. |
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comments
[edit]Nicely done. I suggest a couple of things here.
- links to other articleds
- the standard on symphony names is Symphony No. (composer) so to add a link, you'll need to add [[Symphony No. 8 (Beethoven)|Symphony No. 8]] Or whatever symphony you're linking to.
- You might also go to the page and see if there is a way to link back to your article.
- citations
- there are none, except the "definition" I added earlier. Use <ref>Author. ''Title''. Place: Publisher, Date, ISBN , p. (or pp.)</ref> Or use one of the citation templates, if you'd prefer. You need a lot of citations in this, especially if you're going to say Beethoven's magnificent symphony (or whatever).
- Orphan
- That means no other articles link to this. I've de-orphaned it a little bit, but you'll need to do more. There is a link on the side that tells you what links to the article.
- Copy edit
- Needs a copy edit, but the issues aren't flagrant.
- Pictures
- Could use a picture in the lead.
- Could also use a few other kinds of pictures, perhaps showing how something is cored for timpani; or the mechanisms, or whatever. Use your imagination. You've done a nice job. Auntieruth55 (talk)
A couple of suggestions
[edit]The article looks very good so far, good work (although I have no knowledge of the topic). A couple of suggestions for a higher rating (most of these are just cosmetic, so really only minor):
- the images could have alt text added per WP:ALT (this is for sight impaired viewers);
- the article could have a few more categories added to it at the bottom to improve traffic to and from (it currently only has one);
- the quotation marks should be straight, rather than curly per WP:MOSQUOTE (this is a very minor thing, so don't be too concerned about it);
- in terms of in line citations, the general rule for a B class article is that everything should be cited (rule of thumb is at least one in line citation per paragaph. So long as everythin in the paragraph came from the same source, the citation can just be added to the end of the paragraph. However, if multiple sources are used, its best to include more than one citation in the paragraph);
- citations to the same source can be consolidated per WP:NAMEDREFS (this is sort of like using "ibid" in an academic paper);
- page ranges should have endashes per WP:DASH
- the section headings are incorrectly capitalised per WP:MOSHEAD. Only the first letter in the heading should be capitalised along with any proper nouns. For example "The First Foot Activated Tuning System" should be "The first foot activated tuning system".
Anyway, I hope this helps. Keep up the good work. Cheers. — AustralianRupert (talk) 00:43, 4 April 2010 (UTC)
a few tweaks and stuff
[edit]Nice work so far. I've shortened some of your cites because you don't need the entire cite every time. You might want to use an infobox like the one below. I've put it on the page, but you'll need to fill it out. See the caption for Hector Berlioz. I rewrote it to provide information, not just labeling the portrait, but why he is included. This should happen for all of your pictures. You've done it for the early ones, but not the portraits. The fact that it's Beethoven (or whomever) is irrelevant to an article on Timpani. the fact that Beethoven revolutionized the use of timpani in orchestral composition, and what he did, is important. Auntieruth55 (talk) 21:16, 12 April 2010 (UTC)
I've also added links back to the article from other articles, but you'll need to do more. If you click on the "what links here" line in the far right, it will give you a list. Basically, I've gone to the different symphonies and linked them back to this article, from where they talk about the revolutionary use of timpani. If you click on edit in those sections, you can see how I did that. Auntieruth55 (talk) 21:41, 12 April 2010 (UTC)
When you're done, open the peer review above by clicking on the proper subheading (probably it will be music ;) ), then add the reasons for listing as peer review and sign it with the tildas. Auntieruth55 (talk) 21:43, 12 April 2010 (UTC)
Peer Review
[edit]Your article is very imformative and great for someone who knows a lot about the timpani as well as people who know nothing about the instrument. Some things to fix: I think the titles of all of your sections should only have the first word capitalized. Also, there are a lot of spots that should have apostrophes. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Panzak7 (talk • contribs) 06:21, 16 April 2010 (UTC)
comments
[edit]this is looking better and better. Your info box is wonderful. I'm wondering if it would eventually be possible to include a sound byte...? You realize that this has the potential to be a featured article? Auntieruth55 (talk) 14:39, 22 April 2010 (UTC)
- The GA reviewer is within his authority to fail this, based on the lack of citations, but you can easily add them I'm sure. Ask Trod or one of your classmates for assistance in editing. I've marked the paragraphs that need citations. If it's the same citation as already in there, just move it. If not, add one. There are still grammatical issues, and I agree that the Dresden timpani paragraph is long, could be broken in at least one place to make it more accessible. I would love to see a piece of score in this, as examples of changes, and perhaps a sound byte or two. As I said above, this article has a lot of potential. It just needs some more work. Auntieruth55 (talk) 16:20, 23 April 2010 (UTC)
GA Review
[edit]- This review is transcluded from Talk:Evolution of Timpani in the 18th and 19th centuries/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
The structure and prose look mostly fine here; almost all of the sources are offline, but that's certainly acceptable given the subject matter and date range. There are also sufficient pictures with captions, and I don't see any major MOS issues. My biggest concern is that there are large chunks that are lacking in sources; for instance:
- Last half of "Timpani moves indoors."
- Rotating Timpani section: "However there was one major problem with this design. In order for the drums to be rotated, the player needed to use both hands. This would require the player to have to put down their mallets and therefore, they would not be able to make a tuning change while playing."
- First suspended kettle section: "This allowed for timpanists to change the drum's pitch during quiet parts of the music, something that the past models were not able to accomplish."
- Dresden model: "This new pedal system not only allowed for the drums pitches to be changed faster, easier, and more accurately, but it also allowed for the hands of the timpanist to remain free to play and not be bothered with changing the drums pitch during a performance." Also, it should be "drums'" pitches.
- Last section of "Berlioz's timpani writing" and "Schumann's timpani writing."
- "Impact of the "Dresden" timpani on compositions" should probably be broken up, as it's a really long paragraph.
- Several minor grammar issues. I would suggest taking it to WP:GOCE for a fine tuning.
Good enough start, but again, take it to the copy editors' guild and work on sourcing the last few bits that aren't sourced. I'm failing it for now. Reviewer: Ten Pound Hammer, his otters and a clue-bat • (Many otters • One bat • One hammer) 03:06, 23 April 2010 (UTC)
copy edit
[edit]timpguy, one of your colleagues from class copy-edited this, although it still needs some citations and clarification. 14:38, 29 April 2010 (UTC)
grammar and organization
[edit]Looks pretty good. I may scope out this page and try to cite anything with 'citation needed', and correct grammatical errors. Haydendp (talk) 14:32, 5 October 2018 (UTC)