Talk:Ernie O'Malley/GA2

GA Review

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Reviewer: Johannes Schade (talk · contribs) 18:27, 20 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Good day Billsmith60. I propose to review your GA nomination "Ernie O'Malley". Admittedly, I am only an apprentice-reviewer. I must also warn you that my English is 2nd language and that I am no subject-matter expert. I will propose corrections and suggest optional improvements. The corrections rely on the GA criteria (WP:GACR). Some are tentative. Please tell me whenever you disagree with a correction. I am probably wrong. You can ignore my suggestions. They have no effect on the article's promotion. Should I lack in respect, do not hesitate to complain (see WP:CIVIL).

A remark. This article seems very well written but Billsmith60 has only 3200 edits on the clock. The user page is empty, which also is rather typical of a very experienced editor, newbies tend to rush in and write a lot about themselves. It looks as if the nominator and author has far more experience than the 3200 edits admitted. Then there is also user BillSmith453. Sounds mysterious and intreaguing. But of course we must concentrate on the task. Hoping for a good collaboration, best regards, Johannes Schade (talk) 10:23, 11 February 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Nevertheless, I will start with the preliminaries and then go through the article's section, sometimes returning to previous sections when needed.

Another remark. When things become too Irish, I will refer to an imaginary Japanese reader whose English is quite OK but who knows no Irish and does not understand Irish particularities in general. I will then ask you to help him with some explanation for the Unirish like him (and like me).

Before the article content

Optional Infobox, parameter |birthname= Ernest Bernard Malley – Meaning that officially his surname was Malley and not O'Malley. There might be a need for a remark (explanatory footnote?) about this for the sake of the Japanese reader. COMMENT: see explanatory footnote in the first sentence
Infobox, parameter |caption= O'Malley in New York ... – GACR Rule 1a "understanding"; The footnote is difficult to understand I first expected an explanatory note but then realised it was meant to be a citation. I way must be found to clearly distinguish these two. COMMENT: I am unsure what you mean here. I’ve added the words “pictured in” before “New York City”. The citation refers to where the image comes from, although it’s been long in the public domain.
Infobox, parameter |alt= refer to caption – This is certainly an unfair shortcut and does not make sense when read by the screen reader. The alt-text must say that the image shows O'Mally and give a short description. I would propose "Black and white photograph of O'Malley, showing his head and bust, a clean-shaven man with abundant wavy hair in his late thirties wearing jacket but no tie.". Try to do better. DONE (Sir!) and full 'alt' info. added to all images used
Infobox, parameter |office= Teachta Dála – I would think his time as MP in the Irish Parliament is not essential in the Infobox. I suggest: remove this office from the infobox. I believe he never occupied that seat. DONE (and I agree fully, although another editor may restore this)
Infobox, parameter |rank= commandant-general}} – link to Commandant-general DONE

Best regards, Johannes Schade (talk) 21:10, 20 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Concerning the Teachta Dála (TD), I still maintain it should be removed from the Infobox. MOS:INFOBOXPURPOSE says the purpose of the infobox is "to summarize key facts"; it also says "The less information it contains, the more effectively it serves that purpose". I feel that Ernie's TD is not a "key-fact". AGREED

Concerning the difference between the birth name and the name in the title of the article, the Japanese reader should probably be given an explanation. I am not so sure what it should be. One could cite the explanation given in the DIB. I feel the Irish would say the two names are not really different. DONE: see explanatory footnote added, with a link to a source that confirms this.

Best regards, Johannes Schade (talk) 15:30, 21 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

The lead should in principle not contain citations (see MOS:LEADCITE) as it should summarise information presented in detail elsewhere in the article. An exception in Irish biographies is the appeareance of an Irish form of the name of the subject in the lead sentence. That you do and an inline citation appears nearby referring to O'Farrell 1983 p10 and p106. I have tried to look up that reference and I find that you do not make this easy. COMMENT: are you thinking that book texts will automatically be available online? That will not be the case.

Neither your inline citations nor the entries under "Writings" and "Secondary sources" contain URLs. Could you add them? COMMENT: I’ve added them to “Secondary Sources” but not “Writings”, as they’re not readily accessible except through a commercial source like Amazon, AbeBooks or Goodreads. Also, do we really need URLs that confirm their existence? Also, I am unsure what you mean by inline. If a book can be found online (and few can), I have added the URL. If none exists, then there is no URL. I have added URLs for the Writings and Secondary Sources, if you’re sure they’re allowed there. But I think they look very odd there.

O'Farrell's book can be found in Google Books but only in "snippet view". I could not establish whether on p 10 or on p 106 there is any support for his use of an Gaelic form of his name. That support can however be found in the DIB article. NOTE: O’Farrell now removed from the Lead. Previous GA assessor stressed the need to use as wide a range of sources as possible, hence my wish to retain Farrell (even once in “Death” for his date of death). It is hard to find a copy of the O’Farrell book, which I read once and found that it added very little to our knowledge of O’Malley.

Another exception concerns quotations. Those also you use in the lead. You quote "deeply respected military hero" from Martin 2021, pp. 1, 35 and 232. Why are three pages needed for one quotation? NOTE: you are quite right; extra pages removed.

I do not seem to be able to find Ernie O'Malley, A Life online. COMMENT: I've added a URL for it to "Secondary Sources"

Last, you quote in the 3rd paragraph of the leads "fought and killed the enemies of our nation" and give two books as reference. Is this because this quotation appears in both books? YES: exactly so.

Best regards, Johannes Schade (talk) 21:04, 21 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

This is so well written that I made a check for possible WP:PLAG against the DIB article but Earwig finds that plagiarism is unlikely: Earwig comparison with his DIB article: Violation Unlikely 13.0% (22 March 2023) COMMENT Thank you. I am aware of no plagiarism in the article. People also say that I write well, which is to be expected of someone who was formerly an academic editor. It's the vagaries of Wikipedia that flummox me! https://copyvios.toolforge.org/&project=wikipedia&title=Ernie+O%27Malley&action=compare&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.dib.ie%2Fbiography%2Fomalley-ernest-bernard-ernie-a6885 Best regards, Johannes Schade (talk) 09:24, 22 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Early life

1st paragraph, 2nd sentence. ... lower middle class ... – GACR Rule 1a "understanding"; The Census from shows that two servants were living with the family. I wonder whether such a family could be classed as "lower middle". I would drop the "lower". DONE
3rd paragraph, 1st sentence. ... Parnell ... Redmond ... – GACR Rule 1a "understanding"; please link, the reader might not know (I had heard of Charles Stewart Parnell but not of John Redmond). DONE
3rd paragraph, 2nd sentence. ... shoneen ... John Bull ... – GACR Rule 1a "understanding"; quite obviously completely opaque to the Japanenese reader. It might appear good enough to link to the articles Shoneenism and John Bull, if they would not appear inside quotations. MOS:LINKQUOTE which recommends "Where possible, link from text outside of the quotation instead". It would therefore probably be better to write an explanatory ({{Efn}}) note and to link "shoneen" and "John Bull" inside this note. DONE

Best regards, Johannes Schade (talk) 12:13, 23 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Very best wishes to you also Billsmith60 (talk) 16:03, 23 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

3rd paragraph, 5th sentence. ... priests dined with the family and they had ... – GACR Rule 1a "understanding"; It is not entirely obvious to whom the the "they" refers:, the priests or the family; perhaps "whose membrrs had". NOTE: TEXT READS BETTER NOW
3rd paragraph, 6th sentence. ... Clew Bay ... – Please link. DONE

Dublin

Optional 1st paragraph, 2nd sentence. ... Glasnevin ... – I propose to add ", a northern suburb." COMMENT: A good idea, DONE
1st paragraph, 3rd sentence. ... Congested Districts Boards ... – Link to "Congested Districts Boards for Ireland". DONE
1st paragraph, 4th sentence. ... CBS ... – Explain the abbreviation Christian Brothers? COMMENT: I think amending "CBS" to "Christian Brothers school" is probably clear enough
5th paragraph, only sentence. – This paragraph appears isolated but Rossa was buried at Glanevin cemetery, which would provide a link to O'Malley. NOTE: Agree re 'isolation'. Sentence moved up to end of previous paragraph, Glasnevin Cemetery linked and a new source added for O'Malley attending the Rossa funeral.

Best regards and thanks for your greetings, Johannes Schade (talk) 20:32, 23 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

You are welcome. The above edit was manageable on my phone. Would you note that I will be inactive from c. lunchtime on Sat. to Mon. morning? Regards Billsmith60 (talk) 10:58, 24 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Dublin revisited

3rd paragraph, 1st sentence. ... Dublin Fusiliers ... – Link to "Royal Dublin Fusiliers". DONE
4th paragraph, only sentence. ... Republican ...– Why upper case? NOTE: corrected

Easter Rising and Irish Volunteers

3rd paragraph, 2nd sentence. ... Mauser ... – Please link Mauser. DONE
3rd paragraph, 2nd sentence. ... rifle provided by Conradh na Gaeilge ... – Is this true? What had Conradh na Geilghe to do with weapons? You added two citations: "English, pp. 20‐21" and "O'Malley, On Another Man's Wound, pp. 49–51". The first seems to refer to the 2nd entry in the list "Secondary sources", which reads "Richard English (1988). Ernie O'Malley: IRA Intellectual (Oxford, OUP) https://academic.oup.com/book/11932" that URL opens a page with an abstract. Luckily, the entire book (1998 edition) can be read at "https://archive.org/details/ernieomalleyirai0000engl/". However, pages 20 and 21 talk about something else later in his life. The relevant passage seems to be found on page 7 in this edition: "O'Mallet tells of how he and a fellow schoolboy engaged in some sniping ..." This is breaking the law and the name of the fellow schoolboy is therefore withheld. The second citation is from On Another Man's Wound. You do not give a URL. I found this book at https://archive.org/details/onanothermanswou0000omal/, in an American 1999 edition by Roberts Rinehart. The relevant passage seems to start on page 39, which I found with a search for "Mauser". The 2021 edition that you list under "Writings" does not seem to be available online. According to what I read, the Mauser in question had been captured from the Germans on the front by some Irishman in English service and brought back illegally to Ireland where it was then given to the boy's father. COMMENT: You are correct about the page number for English being 7. I'll run through all the citations to English before we're finished. It's been moved to follow the O"Malley book where he clearly states that the weapon came from CnG (on the pages I have cited).

3rd paragraph, 2nd sentence. ... Conradh na Gaeilge ... – Why the Irish form? would not "Gaelic League" be more easily understood by the Japanese reader? Of course you could give both. COMMENT: I gave both on first occurrence then used the Irish name, which is its name.

Best regards, Johannes Schade (talk) 15:35, 24 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

And to you Billsmith60 (talk) 17:32, 24 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Last edit was my third reply not my fourth Billsmith60 (talk) 17:35, 24 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Easter Rising and Irish Volunteers - revisited

3rd paragraph, 2nd sentence. ... Conradh na Gaeilge ... – You say it is its name. Not everybody sees it so. The article in Sean Joseph Connolly "The Oxford Companion to Irish History" (2007) is entitled "Gaelic League" (see https://archive.org/details/oxfordcompaniont0000unse_j7r4/page/225/). I know the Wikipedia article is at present called Conradh na Gaeilge but I think this does not matter: many articles in Wikipedia get changed around regularly between their English and their Irish form. I still find Gaelic League easier. DONE Billsmith60 (talk) 18:08, 26 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Best regards, Johannes Schade (talk) 21:06, 25 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Easter Rising and Irish Volunteers - revisited again

Dear Billsmith60, I still have not really understood how it happened that you gave page 20 instead of page 7 for the citation in English (1988) and what this has to do with Another Man's Wound. You say "It's been moved to follow the O'Malley book where he clearly states that the weapon came from CnG (on the pages I have cited)" and I do not understand what you mean by that. I also do not see where O'Malley's book clearly states that the rifle came from the Gaelic League. If you correct all the page numbers of the citations from English (1988), could you please do it now so that I can profit from your work and will be able to look up these pages without having to search. Editors should in general make it easy for readers to get to the relevant passage in the source that supports the statement – and this is valid a fortiori in a GA or FA nomination where the reviewer is expected to check big numbers of citations (263 in the given case). I feel that clickable links to the specific page should be given wherever possible (see how Friedrich the Great does this) so that the reviewer can directly jump to the relevant page (or the start page of the relevant range) in the source. Page ranges should be narrowed down to the strict minimum necessary so that the reviewer is not forced to read through whole pages (possible in a foreign language) to find a short passage. Sometimes, giving a WP:FOOTQUOTE will be a great help. Of course, this is prescribed neither for a GA nor even for a FA, but it would make the reviewer's work much easier.

I'll do all the English page references tomorrow, Johannes. I stand by the O'Malley references, which I was busy with in the recent past. But I'll have another look at them tomorrow. You could of course consult those works yourself if you are dissatisfied or feel I'm trying to pull the wool over your eyes. Note too that not every edit made to this article is my own work. Also, it appears that you are assessing this article, word for word, as if it were for a FA when that is not the case. Due diligence – on both sides-– is important, but were already a week into a process that should be reasonably well advanced by that time and I don't want to be here in another three weeks.

Best regards, Johannes Schade (talk) 13:03, 27 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

And the same to you Billsmith60 (talk) 16:30, 27 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Update. Johannes, I've been through the article and carried out an exhaustive check on *all references from the four main sources: (1) Richard English, Ernie 'O'Malley: IRA Intellectual; (2) O'Malley, On Another Man's Wound; (3) O'Malley, The Singing Flame; (4) O'Malley, Raids and Rallies. These are all aligned now. It is clear that, at some stage, a different edition of On Another Man's Wound was used, which explains why some of the page numbers needed fixing (to the 2013 edition cited). Moreover, you are correct about the Mauser rifle not coming from Conradh na Gaeilge. The error was not mine but it has been corrected now. The text is ready for your further assessment, which I await and will attend to when there's plenty to do at one go. Thank you and regards Billsmith60 (talk) 13:27, 28 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Dear Billsmith60, of course I do respect you as a good Wikipedian and do not believe that you want to "pull the wool over my eyes" but errors occur and are not necessarily your's as the problem with the rifle allegedly provided by the Gaelic League has shown. If I had not looked this up, the error would probably not have been corrected for the GA. Nominations should be well prepared and ready for approval. They should not contain errors of that calibre. I know that GA reviews should normally be done within 7 days, but your's is rather long and well cited, which are of course signs of its high quality (broad coverage, verifiable). – With regard to the versions of Another Man's Wound, you have unluckily disregarded my plea to make it easy to check and chosen to cite the 2002 version rather than the most recent version available online (1999). There are big page shifts between the two. Of course there might be good reasons. COMMENT: the most modern edition (2013) is the one I can access most easily. Unfortunately, it's not the case with you but you can follow the narrative.

5th paragraph, 2nd sentence. ... NCO ... – GACR Rule 1a "understanding"; Please explain the acronym. DONE
6th paragraph, 2nd sentence. ... Smith & Wesson ... – Please link Smith & Wesson. DONE: I also linked "Lee Enfield"
6th paragraph, 2nd sentence. ... purchase a Smith & Wesson ... from Dublin Castle ... – I doubt the truth of the statement. Martin (2021) (https://books.google.com?id=tAVDEAAAQBAJ) talked about the Smith & Wesson at the beginning of Chapter 2 (page numbers are not available), but does not say that it was bought "from Dublin Castle". NOTE: the sequence has now been fixed and the permit/purchase made clearer. Let me observe that O'Malley's self-confessed lack of care regarding dates means that the sequencing of citations from On Another Man's Wound is not always sequential. The chapter headings are a help, but one needs to bear that point in mind. That's relevant to a small addition I made to the "IRA" section you'll come to later on.

Best regards,Johannes Schade (talk) 08:31, 29 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

And to you. Till next time Billsmith60 (talk) 12:06, 29 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Field organiser

2nd paragraph, 1st sentence. ... GHQ ... – GACR Rule 1a "understanding"; Please explain the acronym. DONE
4th paragraph, 1st sentence. ... hold elections ... – GACR Rule 1a "understanding"; What elections were these? COMMENT: for officers - DONE

Irish Republican Army

4th paragraph, 2nd sentence. ... attacks on Holyford ... – GACR Rule 1a "understanding"; On Holyford or on the RIC barracks of that location? COMMENT: yes, the barracks: fixed now
4th paragraph, 3rd sentence. ... by fire other than the wind ... – GACR Rule 1a "understanding"; What do you mean? COMMENT: revised now

Capture and escape

4th paragraph, 2nd sentence. ... referred an IRA officer ... – GACR Rule 1a "understanding"; referred to? COMMENT: "to" was missing: fixed now

Divisional commandant

Seems all fine

Opposition to the treaty

1st paragraph, only sentence. ... settlement that it felt short ... – GACR Rule 1a "understanding"; garbled sentence. COMMENT: "it" has been removed - "that fell short"

2nd paragraph, 1st sentence. ... created de Valera ... – GACR Rule 1a "understanding"; garbled sentence. Created by de Valera? COMMENT: yes, thank you - fixed

Outbreak of civil war

1st paragraph, 1st sentence. ... On 28 June ... – GACR Rule 1a "understanding"; I would think that the first date in a new section should include the year. The reader might want to read the section in isolation. DONE
3rd paragraph, 3rd sentence. ... then County Wexford ... – GACR Rule 1a "grammar"; then to County Wexford ... DONE
3rd paragraph, 3rd sentence. ... finally County Carlow ... – GACR Rule 1a "grammar"; finally to County Carlow. DONE

Assistant chief of staff

1st paragraph, 1st sentence. ... On 10 July ... – GACR Rule 1a "understanding"; I would think that the first date in a new section should include the year. The reader might want to read the section in isolation. DONE
2nd paragraph, end ... excplanatory footnote ... – Extra space before the Efn. FIXED
5th paragraph, last sentence. ... "Irregulars" ... – GACR Rule 1a "grammar"; the "Irregulars" NOTE: No, "Irregulars" is correct. Free State communications and arrest notes refer to "Irregulars" (and adding "the" would have legitimised them a little). You'll note that (the IRA) is in parenthesis after "Irregulars".
6th paragraph, 3rd sentence. ... "stated to Lynch" ... – simply "told Lynch"? DONE

Capture

1st paragraph, last sentence. ... accidentally shot ... – GACR Rule 1a "understanding"; Perhaps add "but she survived". DONE
3rd paragraph, 1st sentence. ... Contemporary republican internee ... – Sounds odd; perhaps a "another republican prisoner"? DONE
3rd paragraph, 1st sentence. ... Peadar O'Donnell ... – link Peadar O'Donnell DONE
3rd paragraph, 1st sentence. ... Citation English 22–23 ... – This citation does not really support the part of the sentence before it. COMMENT: I am unsure what you are referring to. Is it that Ellen Humphries is called "Nell Humphries" (which is the title of her Wikipedia article) or that Donnybrook (the relevant Dublin suburb) isn't mentioned specifically. Here is the relevant text from English: "Early on the morning of Saturday 4 November 1922, O'Malley himself was captured and very badly wounded during a raid on 36 Ailsbury Road, Dublin. He had been staying there since September ... and had made it his headquarters as IRA Assistant Chief of [^p. 19] staff". I have removed the p. 20 part of the English citation, added in the bit about his HQ plus having been there for six weeks (citation from O'Malley). With the Hopkinson citation, the three bits of evidence make clear exactly what happened.

Best regards, Johannes Schade (talk) 20:14, 30 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

And to you. I won't be around on Sunday but free till then. All the best Billsmith60 (talk) 10:50, 31 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Hunger strike

2nd paragraph, 2nd sentence. ... general prison ... – GACR Rule 1a "understanding"; We have never been explained the differences between all these prisons. What does "general" mean in this case? COMMENT: FIXED
2nd paragraph, 3rd sentence. ... regular hut ... – GACR Rule 1a "understanding"; I suppose that means he was released from camp hospital. They might be a clearer way to state this. COMMENT: FIXED

Secretary to IRA Executive

Seems to be all fine.

Subsequent life

General remark. This part of the article goes at a much more leisurely pace than the part above. I feel is could be shortened and detail or additional explanation could be added in the part above it. COMMENT: It is helpful that you find this latter part of the article to be slower-paced, for O'Malley's life proceeded much less eventfully from 1925 to 1957 (over thirty years!) than the eight-year period from 1916-1924 when the activities for which he is primarily noted, occurred. Also I feel the the balance of text between the two parts is about right and reflects that, with some 2/3 covering his revolutionary life and 1/3 the rest of it. Additional detail could be added to the early part but it would likely comprise only notes on activities in the field., which are already well covered.

Europe

The lengthy excerpt from a letter should probably be replaced with a summary written in Wikipedia's voice. The language of the letter is casual and imprecise and it is difficult to know what he really means. Does "covered the frontier from San Sebastian to Perpignan" mean that he walked all along the frontier from the Pays Basque to Catalonia? In the letter he also claims that he "did some mediaeval history at Grenoble" (does this mean he studied History at the Univeristy of Grenoble? Was his French good enough?) and that he "walked ... to North Africa". One wonders how he financed the 18 months in Europe. COMMENT: I have answered your question on finance. But I am not sure I can agree about your general point. This is a quote, which is sacrosanct. If indeed O'Malley was imprecise over where exactly he went or what he did, that is unimportant. All it does is give a flavour of his meandering life at that time. 'Does "covered the frontier from San Sebastian to Perpignan" mean that he walked all along the frontier from the Pays Basque to Catalonia?' COMMENT: I think it does.

North America

last paragraph, 4th sentence. ... local schools had been closed ... – Not supported by the citation. NOTE: text revised and a new reference added.

Return to Ireland

1st paragraph, 1st sentence. ... war pension of approximately £330 a year ... – The reader might be interested in how much that is in today's money. It is £30,000 in 2023{{Inflation/fn|UK}}) per year. Not so bad after all. COMMENT: I found a source that says c. £30,000! An explanatory note has been added. As I lack your knowledge of the "inflation" tag, please replace my edit with it if you think it works better.

3rd paragraph, 3rd sentence. ... Ampleforth Collage ... – Why are we being told this? We are on the other hand not even given the names of the two elder children. Did he have three boys? Did any of his children ever go to this school? COMMENT: you are quite right. Text amended and names of children added, with a reference. I think the bit about the public school should stay, as it's part of a couple of sentences about his children. Alternatively, would you like me to insert: "Oddly for an Irish republican," before it?

Best regards, Johannes Schade (talk) 20:21, 31 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Capture revisited

3rd paragraph, 1st sentence. ... Citation English pp. 22–23 ... – This citation does not really support the part of the sentence before it. The part before this citation is "Another republican prisoner, Peadar O'Donnell, recorded that it was only the intervention of his doctors". I find nothing on English pp 22–23 that support this passage. O'Donnell is not even mentioned on these pages, nor does it say "only the intervention". I this it is a matter of what Wikipedia calls MOS:INTEGRITY. The citation mark is perhaps not well placed?. The begin of the sentence might of course be supported by another citation, possibly the one from "No Surrender here", but that is only available by Google books in snippet mode (https:/books.google.com/books?>id=Gx0OAQAAMAAJ). Then there is the citation from "The Gates Flew Open", p 200. That is in fact available online (https://archive.org/details/gatesflewopen0000odon/page/200/) and tells the "only the fact that the doctors insisted". You can see how time-consuming this checking can become and why I ask you to make it easier even if GA does not demand it. – So what is the first citation (English pp. 22–23) good for? COMMENT: second and third paragraphs revised and made much clearer using your sources and others.

Johannes Schade (talk) 08:22, 1 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Field organiser revisited

4th paragraph, 1st sentence. ... hold elections for the officer positions ... – GACR Rule 2c, "original research"; I think I found the relevant passage at [1] where it reads "... to Offaly there's an election coming off." on page 80; but this source does not mention "officer positions". COMMENT: Well, I asked myself what else it would be? There was no public election at that time. Anyhow, I've added another source to confirm this point.

Irish Republican Army revisited

4th paragraph, 1st sentence. ... staff captain ... – GACR Rule 1a "understanding"; – It seems that "staff captain" was a rank in the IRA of that time (see Staff captain), but when reading "Raids and rallies" it sounds as if in this source it is used loosely for a captain assigned to GHQ. Please try to clarify. DONE
4th paragraph, 2nd sentence. ... This was a important ... – GACR Rule 1a "grammar"; -> This was an important ... THANK YOU

Johannes Schade (talk) 21:19, 1 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Illness and death

Only paragraph ... de Valera and Aiken were also present ... – GACR Rule 1a "grammar"; – It seems that "were also present" is too much. NOTE: fixed

Writings

The GA criteria (GACR Rule 1b "layout") prescribe compliance with MOS:LAYOUT. This guideline describes a section "Works or publications" as the first of the standard appendices, being a bulleted list of works by the subject of the article. Its recommends "Works" or "Publications" as heading. I would interpret MOS:LAYOUT as meaning that a GA article about a writer famous for more than one book should include such a list. As your section Writings is followed be the section Legacy, I would think that the list of works should appear after the Legacy section. I would recommend the heading "Works". In your case the list of works would appear in addition to your text in the Writings section. NOTE: I changed this according to your wishes but then removed the bulleted list as per your comment below. But a benefit of your note is that I've tightened up the format of all books cited in this article.

2nd paragraph, 3rd sentence. However, O'Malley's son Cormac ... – GACR Rule 1a "concise"; – Cormac does not need to be mentioned here. DONE
2nd paragraph, 3rd sentence. ... required seven years ... – I suggest more simply "took seven years". DONE
5th paragraph, 2nd sentence. ... Joseph O'Doherty ... – Please link Joseph O'Doherty. DONE
6th paragraph, 1st sentence. Perhaps reflecting its more contoversial ... – What does "its" refer to? COMMENT: revised
6th paragraph, 2nd sentence. Moreover, O'Malleys own lack of knowledge ... – GACR Rule 1a "concise"; better without the "own" -> Moreover, O'Malleys lack of knowledge ... FIXED, thank you
6th paragraph, 2nd sentence. ... carry out some years ... – GACR Rule 1a "concise"; Can one really "carry out years"?, perhaps "spend years", or drop the years and say "made him research the subject"? FIXED
7th paragraph, 1st sentence. ... prepared a series of talks he gave ... – GACR Rule 1a "concise"; I feel that he gave them is the essential fact and "gave"should be the main verb of the sentence, whereas that he prepared them is quite obvious and does not need to be mentioned. COMMENT: you are quite rigt, as that read awkwardly! Fixed now
7th paragraph, 1st sentence. ... Radio Eireann ... – Please link to RTÉ Radio. DONE
7th paragraph, 1st sentence. ... highly popular ... – GACR Rule 1a "concise"; just "popular" is probably good enough. DONE
8th paragraph, 2nd sentence. ... This was discovered and published ... – GACR Rule 1a "concise"; just "published". DONE
Last paragraph, 2nd sentence. ... vignette ... – I did not know this word and looked it up in Wiktionary where nine quite different meanings are listed. I think few readers would know what you mean. I would guess drawings, but that might well be wrong. Perhaps choose a clearer word ar add an explanation. COMMENT: "sketches", now fixed

Legacy

1st paragraph, 1st sentence. ... having been at the receiving end of an occupying power ... – GACR Rule 1a "concise"; – perhaps "having been ruled by an occupying power ...". DONE
2nd paragraph, 1st sentence. ... made a significant contribution to making ... – GACR Rule 1a "concise"; – perhaps "... contributed significantly to making ...". DONE
3rd paragraph, 1st sentence. ... . [256][257] – Please remove the extra space between the period and the citation. DONE
4th paragraph, 2nd sentence. ... while he had been an opponent to his adversaries ... – GACR Rule 1a "concise"; – perhaps "... while he had fought his enemies ...". COMMENT: yes, terribly written! fixed now
5th paragraph – These two sentences do not make sense together as a paragraph. The first should probably go to where you talk about him training IRA recruits, probably near the beginning of the section Irish Republican Army. The bullets remaing in his body have been mentioned before and do perhaps not be mentions again in theLegacy section. COMMENT: I have mostly kept it with a new short clause to illustrate the link between what O'Malley asked of his men and what he did himself. I think it's clear now. But I did remove one of the "bullets" references in the early part.
6th and 7th paragraphs – These two one-sentence paragraphs do not contribute much. I would do away with them. If he were not notable we would not have an article and he has practically nothing to do with Manannan Mac Lir. COMMENT: would you object if they stayed in, as they're at the end of that section and contain four new references. Moreover, a film is a way of preserving a legacy, and the Manannan Mac Lir sculpture is of an Irish warrior-hero, which is why I presume his ex-wife chose it to commemorate him?

Easter rising and Irish volunteers revisited the 3rd time

6th paragraph, 1st sentence. ... Parnell Square ... – Please link to Parnell Square. DONE

Field organiser revisited again

1st paragraph, 2nd sentence ... Irish Volunteers later called the IRA ... – When did this name-change occur? Should it not be mentioned and dated in the text further down? NOTE: I have added an explanatory note about this, which I think means it can stay where it is currently.

Capture and escape revisited

1st paragraph, 2nd sentence. ... Woodstock House ... – Please link to Woodstock Estate. DONE
1st paragraph, 3rd sentence. ...still unfamiliar with this new weapon and was unable to draw it in time to make possible his escape. – GACR Rule 1a "concise"; – perhaps shorten to "... still unfamiliar with the weapon and could not draw it in time.". DONE
3rd paragraph, 2nd sentence. ... occupant [c] ... – Remove the space between and the word "occupant" and the explanatory footnote. DONE
4th paragraph, 1st sentence. The seizure of the latter papers led ... – Better repeat the name instead of using "latter" at the beginning of a new paragraph: "The seizure of O'Malley's papers led ...". DONE
5th paragraph, 1st sentence The IRA leadership was gravely concerned about O'Malley being executed ... – – GACR Rule 1a "concise"; Perhaps "The IRA leadership feared O'Malley could be executed ...". DONE

Opposition to the treaty revisited

I feel it is left unclear whether the IRA split or whether the entire IRA joined the anti-treaty side. Perhaps this could be made clearer. COMMENT: I spent ages revising that section to make that point clear in several places. Johannes Schade (talk) 16:51, 3 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Writings revisited

Dear Billsmith60, I think I was probably wrong in my interpretation of MOS:LAYOUT. It probably only prescribes the position of a list of works in the article if the article has such a list and does not prescribe that an article about a writer must contain such a list; or what would you say? Sorry and best regards, Johannes Schade (talk) 09:54, 4 April 2023 (UTC) NOTE: no problem at all; see comment above on this.[reply]

I also did a run-through of the text in editor mode, to see the code, as part of a final proofread. Hopefully the article is closer now to what you're looking for. Thank you for your work Billsmith60 (talk) 15:06, 5 April 2023 (UTC) UPDATE: I've now completed a final proofread in viewer mode and have made several changes, none of them controversial, I trust. That will be me finished until you're back in the saddle! Thanks again, Billsmith60 (talk) 12:51, 12 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Early life revisited

2nd paragraph, 5th sentence. ... privileged seats at Mass. – GACR Rule 1a "capitalisation"; – Why should "mass" be capitalised? Rather use "... privileged seats at mass." NOTE: I'm going by what the Wikipedia article says: https://wiki.riteme.site/wiki/Mass_in_the_Catholic_Church and by what I know as a member of the Catholic Church. "Mass" as written is correct.

Dublin revisited again

1st paragraph, 1st sentence. ... of the capital city. – GACR Rule 1a "concise"; – Please shorten the sentence, "of the capital city" is needless. DONE
1st paragraph, 4th sentence. Joseph Devlin ... – GACR Rule 1a "logic"; – Please rearrange the order of the sentences of the passage concerning the school starting with this sentence. First state that Ernie whent to the Christion Brothers school and received a reasonable education. Then talk of Devlin's visit to that school. DONE
1st paragraph, last sentence. ... University College Dublin (UCD). – The name is only used 4 times in the main text and that at widely spaced locations. The acronym is not widely known outside Ireland. I feel it should not abbreviated. Please replace the acronym everywhere with "University College Dublin". DONE.
2nd paragraph, last sentence. ... was at Skerries when .... – The Howth gun-running in 1914 might be worth mentioning, but the way it is done in the article seems confusing: it is not understandable to the reader why it is relevant that Ernie was at Skerries during the event. Skerries is far (much further north) from Howth and Dublin. I found the passage in Another Man’s Wound. It says he laughed at someone reporting the Bachelors Walk incident. Please try to improve. If you still mention Skerries, link it. Also, it is a bad idea to put this event in the same sentence as the mention of the Irish Citizen Army. The logical connection is to the sentence before, which mentions Larkin. COMMENT: "improved"

Easter Rising and Irish Volunteers – revisited 4th time

1st paragraph, 1st sentence. ... medicine at UCD ... – Please replace UCD with "University college Dublin". DONE
1st paragraph, 2nd sentence. ... General Post Office GPO ... – The acronym is not used in the text. Please remove. Change the caption of the image from "Ruins of the GPO" to "Ruin of the General Post Office". It fits in one line. DONE
1st paragraph, 2nd sentence. ... in O'Connell Street ... – This is an anachronism. The street was called Sackville Street before 1924. Perhaps say "in Sackville Street (now O'Connell Street)". Link to the O'Connell Street DONE: thank you.
1st paragraph, 2nd sentence. ... base of Nelson's Pillar ... – please link to the Nelson's Pillar. DONE
2nd paragraph, 1st sentence. ... Trinity Collage Dublin ... – GACR Rule 1a "concise"; – Omit "Dublin" but of course retain the link. DONE
2nd paragraph, 2nd sentence. In On Another Man's Wound O'Malley writes that ... – GACR Rule 1a "concise"; – Omit. The citaion makes it clear from where the information comes. DONE
3rd paragraph, 2nd sentence. ... a German-made Mauser rifle ... – I do not understand why you insist on "German-made", as (I believe) before the 1st WW all Mauser rifles were German-made. Perhaps you did not understand my previous remark about it. The weapon was likely picked up by the father of the boy as a British soldier after it had been dropped by a German soldier killed in action. I would suggest to omit the "German-made". Perhaps this incident would merit a bit more detail. The friend was a boy, not an adult. The weapon belonged to the boy's father. Ernie could have been caught and shot as a civilian attacking combatants. COMMENT: "German-made" removed and extra detail added, but not about the likely (but speculative!) provenance of the weapon.
3rd paragraph, last sentence. ... MacBride, whom he also knew ... – GACR Rule 1a "concise"; – I suggest to omit "also". DONE
4th paragraph, 3rd sentence. ... was much closer to the family home ... – GACR Rule 1a "vocabulary"; – I suggest "nearer". DONE
5th paragraph, 2nd sentence. On account of that ... – GACR Rule 1a "syntax"; – The construction is awkward. Perhaps start the paragraph with "He found it difficult to be on parade ... because". NOTE: your suggestion does not work because of the medical studies, but I have slimmed it down.
5th paragraph, 2nd sentence. ... non-commissioned officer (NCO). – The acronym is never used. Please omit. DONE

Johannes Schade (talk) 14:04, 18 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Field organiser – visited the 4th time

2nd paragraph, 1st sentence. ... there were not more than ten people who could work full time ... – Spot-checked and found correct. There is no citation at the end of the 1st sentence, but the 2nd sentence is followed by two citations: Raids and Rallies, p. 11], and and [https://archive.org/details/risingoutseancon0000omal/page/8/ Rising out, p. 8, p. 8. I found the supporting passage in the 1st citation. It reads "... there were very few people who could give or who wished to give their whole time to helping the army – not more than nine or ten I think.". Perhaps you could remove the "could" for better fit with the source and say "... there were not more than ten people who worked full time ...". COMMENT: good idea! Done
3rd paragraph, 2nd sentence. ... Coalisland ... – Please link Coalisland. DONE
4th paragraph, 2nd sentence. ... and hold elections for the officer positions. – This is alleged to be supported by a citation from On Another Man's Wound where Michael Collins tells him "I am sending you to Offaly, there is an election coming off." and a citation from Martin p. 22–23, that I could not find. I think he is talking about the upcoming General Election held in December 1918, which was a big event in Ireland: a landslide victory of De Valera's Sinn Féin over the Irish Parliamentary Party. It led to the First Dáil. Why Collins linked the election to Offaly remains mystery. However, it is sure that there is no support for saying it was "an election of officer positions". One should of course look for confirmation. COMMENT: Johannes, once again you are incorrect about this matter. Moreover, it is surprising that you are questioning the citation I found, as if I would invent a citation simply to prove a point. It is I that is correct about the officer elections, but if you insist on querying this point, here is the relevant quote: "He was now being sent to hold brigade officer elections and develop a fighting unit in an are seventy-five miles south-west of Dublin. Offaly was part of..." (top of p. 23) What is unclear about that? Please do better!
- Dear Billsmith, so quite obviously I was wrong. I told you that I could not find the citation from Martin. Martin's book is online in Google Books in preview and can be searched. Thanks for giving me the relevant passage, which allowed me to make a successful search on the Google Book. I still cannot see the whole page because as Google Book tells me the page is not part of the preview. Would you consider adding the relevant passage as a footquote for future readers and reviwers? With thanks and best regards, Johannes Schade (talk)

Irish Republican Army – revisited again

2nd paragraph, 3rd sentence. The latter later sent O'Malley ... – instead of "the latter" repeat the name "Collins later sent O'Malley ...". DONE
3rd paragraph, 2nd sentence. They were successful in taking it, one of ... – GACR Rule 1a "concise"; – More simply "This was one of ...". NOTE: tweaked
3rd paragraph, 3rd sentence. This strategy had been developed by GHQ ... – GACR Rule 1a "grammar"; – Use active voice: "GHQ had developed this strategy ...". COMMENT: really? But I have done so.
4th paragraph, 2nd sentence. He participated actively ... – Perhaps "He played a major role ..."? COMMENT: unnecessary change
4th paragraph, 3rd sentence. During these actions ... on the roof of Hollyford barracks ... – GACR Rule 1a "concise"; – More simply "At Hollyford ... on the roof of the barracks ...". NOTE: I have removed "During these actions"
4th paragraph, 3rd sentence. ... burned alive by fire .... – GACR Rule 1a "concise"; – More simply "... burned alive ...". DONE
4th paragraph, last sentence. These activities made .... – Avoid repeating activitties and action by writing "These attacks ...". DONE

Capture and escape – revisited again

4th paragraph, last sentence. ... any information .... – GACR Rule 1a "concise"; – More simply "... information ...". DONE

Divisional commandant – revisited

2nd paragraph, 1st sentence. ... O'Malley and his unit .... – The citation is from Martin (p. 63) where citations are difficult to find online. The relevant passage seems to be "Three armed British officers had been captured in his command area". Unless it is otherwise stated elsewhere , O'Malley was not directly involved in the capture. Please verify and adjust where needed. COMMENT: this is an example of a point you are correct to query, and I have modified it slightly and added in another reference.

Johannes Schade (talk) 18:17, 18 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Opposition to the treaty – revisited again

1st paragraph, 2nd sentence. ... 'No 2 Document' ... – Why single quotes when double quotes have been used until now? Please change to double quotes. NOTE: done. It's called 'Document No. 2' and '"No. 2 Document' by different people
1st paragraph, 2nd sentence. ... 'external association' ... – Why single quotes when double quotes have been until now? Please change to double quotes. DONE
2nd paragraph, 2nd sentence. ... this sucession. – I think you mean "secession" or perhaps "decision". COMMENT: you are quite right, it is 'decision' - fixed now, thank you.
3rd paragraph, 2nd sentence, citation ... split into pro and anti-treaty camps. – One should really find some history book as source for this rather than Cormac O'Malley. COMMENT: No, I cannot agree. Cormac edited his father's civil war papers and published them in the work cited. Moreover, he is a reputable historian and the source – his father – is impeccable. However, I will add in a reference later from Michael Hopkinson. Please also note a sentence I have added in to the end of the previous paragraph about offering to resign as a divisional commander.

Johannes Schade (talk) 20:49, 18 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for your continuing work and dedication. Regards Billsmith60 (talk) 12:39, 19 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]

I've added in that Hopkinson reference, plus a clause and citation that O'Malley was on the army council. Anne Dolan has also been inserted as second editor to the "No Surrender!" book. Regards Billsmith60 (talk) 10:32, 20 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Outbreak of civil war – revisited

1st paragraph, 1st sentence. ... bombarded ... – It seems the free staters shot at the building with artilry. "shelled" might be more precise. DONE
1st paragraph, 2nd sentence. ... historic Record Office was blown up ... – Why "historic"? The article National Archives of Ireland (please link to it) explains the history and successive name changes of this institution. It claims that the anti-treaty forces had stored their munitions in the Public Record Office and explains that the Record Office was not blown up by anybody but that the stored ammunition exploded when the fire started by the shelling reached that part of the building. NOTE: Revised to make this clear and link added. the term "historic" is often applied by others to the Records office.
1st paragraph, 3rd sentence. That action cost him ... – Rather "... The explosion ...". DONE
2nd paragraph. This consists of a long quotation from On Another Man's Wound. I wonder what this quotation brings. It does not really add new information, rather shows how well O'Malley writes. MOS:QUOTE says "Brief quotations ... may be used to illustrate a point ... Try not to overuse them ... " NOTE: this quote is vital to show the chaos and danger of what was happening. It's also one of only two in the article.
3rd paragraph, 2nd sentence. ... future Taoiseach Seán Lemass ... – Many readers might not know what the Taoiseach is and how to pronounce it. There is an article Taoiseach but linking to it would create a MOS:SEAOFBLUE. Perhaps best to omit "future Taoiseach". NOTE: yes, I agree, DONE
3rd paragraph, last sentence. This escape was probably fortunate for O'Malley, as ... – GACR Rule 1a "concise"; – More simply "The escape probably saved his life as ...". DONE

Assistant chief of staff – revisited

1st paragraph, 1st sentence. ... split in the republican ranks ... – GACR Rule 1a "understanding"; I do not understand. You seem to refer to a split betwen faction in the anti-treaty forces. Does this refer to the "wedge between republicans" mentioned in section "Opposition to the treaty", last paragraph? If so, please clarify here and also in the last paragraph of "Opposition to the treaty". NOTE: yes, you are correct. I've clarified that issue at both places.
2nd paragraph, last sentence. ... Communist ... – GACR Rule 1a "spelling"; – Why should "communist" be capitalised? NOTE: fixed. Wikipedia is unusual in not adopting uppercase for political ideologies. Also, O'Malley always wrote "Republican" and not "republican".
2nd paragraph, last sentence, explanatory footnote. This is asserted with reference to ... – GACR Rule 1a "understanding"; The explanatory note should be as far as possible be understandable when read out of context in the Notes section. Perhaps start it with "There is nothing to indicate that O'Malley supported Mallows's communist ideas in ...". NOTE: text revised.
3rd paragraph, 1st sentence. On an inspection to the North ... – GACR Rule 1a "understanding"; The sentence becomes too long. Perhaps: "O'Malley inspected the North in October. When with the 4th Northern Division in South Armagh, he joined ...". NOTE: revised.

Capture – revisited again

3rd paragraph, 1st sentence. ... from a court martial and a firing squad. – Better without the indefinite articles "... from court martial and firing squad.". NOTE: yes, it was wrong. Now reads "a court martial and firing squad", which is correct.

Hunger strike – revisited

1st paragraph, penultimate sentence. ... he had already been nominated ... – GACR Rule 1a "concise"; – The älready"seems needless: "... he had been nominated ..." DONE
2nd paragraph, 1st sentence. ... was the last internee moved ... – GACR Rule 1a "understanding"; I suppose there were other prisoners in the jail. Therefore probably better "... was the last anti-treaty prisoner moved ...". NOTE: fair enough. Text revised
2nd paragraph, 3rd sentence. There then came ... – GACR Rule 1a "concise"; "Then came ..." is good enough. DONE
2nd paragraph, 3rd sentence. ... joined the rest of the prisoners. – GACR Rule 1a "understanding"; We can assume that the other anti-treaty prisoners underwent similar transfers. To confirm say "... joined the other anti-treaty prisoners in the huts of the Curragh camp.". DONE
3rd paragraph, 1st sentence. ... the very last anti-treaty internee ... – GACR Rule 1a "understanding"; I propose to standardise on prisoner rather than internee, therefore "... the very last anti-treaty prisoner ..." NOTE: ok, although I added a short clause to note that his period of internment was complete (he was interned without trial and never charged: that is important).
Image caption A landing in Kilmainham Jail – GACR Rule 1a "understanding"; I would say that what we see here is not a landing but a corridor. DONE

Secretary to IRA Executive – revisited

I am not sure what this IRA now is. I have the impression it is the anti-treaty IRA, which somehow survived its defeat and the dumping of arms. The Free-State army chose a different name becoming in 1922 the National Army and afterwords in 1924 the Irish Defence Forces. NOTE: sentence added to show IRA was still around.

2nd paragraph, 2nd sentence. ... O'Connell Street ... – anachronism as before. Still called Sackville Street in 1922. DONE

Europe – revisited

2nd paragraph, 1st sentence. ... had connection with the Basque Country and Catalan nationalists ... – GACR Rule 1a "understanding"; probably "... established connection with the Basque and Catalan nationalists ...". DONE
3rd paragraph, quotation. This consists of a long quotation from a letter. I have the impression it is there to avoid a difficult paraphrasing of what he did in his recreational and associated activities. MOS:QUOTE says "Brief quotations ... may be used to illustrate a point ... Try not to overuse them ... ". Another problem is that this quotation interrupts the explanation of his attempts to collaborate with the Basques and Catalans. I feel these explanations of his political activities should be allowed to come to a conclusion without interruption. Then another paragraph should be written paraphrasing his other (mostly recreationsal) activities as well as possible without long quotations. NOTE: you were quite correct, so what I've done is to move that nice quote to the end of the section as as not to interrupt the flow of his clandestine activities. Also, I think it's essential to retain that quote which gives a flavour of his meanderings across Europe at that time.

North America – revisited

2nd paragraph. The readers might want to know that O'Malley's fund raising was successful and that the newpaper was published and flourished for many years. So you might add a sentence to the end of the paragraph to that effect. DONE
4th paragraph, 2nd sentence. ... employment as he had hoped. – GACR Rule 1a "understanding"; probably "... which he had hoped to find in Mexico." DONE
4th paragraph, 3rd sentence. ... and returned to Santa Fe. – GACR Rule 1a "understanding"; I think his problem was that he could not legally re-enter the US with his visa expired and had to cross the frontier illegally; probably "... to return to Santa Fe." DONE'
4th paragraph, 4th sentence. ... when she as hospitalised ... – GACR Rule 1a "understanding"; probably "... when she was hospitalised ..." DONE thank you
4th paragraph, 4th sentence. ... he looked after the children – GACR Rule 1a "understanding"; Period (full stop) missing at the end of the sentence; probably "... he looked after the children." DONE thank you

Return to Ireland – revisited

1st paragraph, 1st sentence, explanatory note, citation. ... 'Value of £330 from 1934 to 2023'[1]. – GACR Rule 1a "understanding"; You can of course choose the source you prefer. However you should avoid the appearance of the "[1]". Your citation should probably read like this "<ref>[https://www.in2013dollars.com/uk/inflation/1934?amount=330 'Value of £330 from 1934 to 2023']. CPI Inflation Calculator, undated, retrieved 12 April 2023</ref>" NOTE: Johannes, I am unsure what you mean here. Is the 'efn' notation mark *not to appear? How else is a footnote to be shown?
2nd paragraph, 2nd sentence. The couple had three children ... – Remark: for the non-Irish reader the genders of the children are not obvious. After some looking around, it seems to me that Cathal and Cormac are boys, whereas Etain is a girl. I wonder whether it it would be worthwhile to clarify this. NOTE: yes, you are correct. I've made that point clear.
2nd paragraph, 5th sentence. ... The Emergency ... – GACR Rule 1a "understanding"; outside the Republic of Ireland most of this period is remembered as the 2nd World War. Please help the Japanese reader to understand without forcing him to read the article The Emergencey (Ireland). Mention the 2nd World War directly. DONE
2nd paragraph, penultimate sentence. ... offered his services ... – GACR Rule 1a "understanding"; Not easy to understand. Who are "the local security forces"? Did he look for employment by the Irish Defence Forces or did he offer voluntary services? Seen his experience and track record why was he rejected? Was he by now considered too old? This statement needs a citation. NOTE: text tweaked slightly to refer to Mayo and citation added.
3rd paragraph, 1st sentence. ... independent of her husband and children. – GACR Rule 1a "concise"; perhaps better "... away from her husband and children.". DONE
3rd paragraph, 4th sentence. ... entered his sons ... – GACR Rule 1a "understanding"; This was about his attempt in 1946 to send some of his children to Ampleforth College. "His sons" seems unlikely to be true as Cormac (born 1942) was too young and it seems that Etain is a girl (see https://www.independent.ie/irish-news/war-icons-turbulent-family-life-26342766.html). Please clarify or leave it out as none of his children ever went to this school. NOTE: fair enough, DELETED. That point is much less significant than the next one.
3rd paragraph, 5th sentence. ... took her two elder children out of school ... – GACR Rule 1a "understanding"; This was Cathal and Etain who were at Ring College (Coláiste na Rinne) an Irish-language boarding school at Ring, County Waterford, an Gaeltacht ares. The event was described as a kidnaspping by (https://www.independent.ie/irish-news/war-icons-turbulent-family-life-26342766.html). NOTE: text updated to refer to a "kidnapping" and source added (thank you)

Illness and death – revisited

1st paragraph, 3rd sentence. ... his brother Kevin, a heart specialist ... – GACR Rule GACR Rule 1a "spelling". should be "... his brother Kevin, a heart specialist" as he had several brothers and the sentence would not be understandable without the "Kevin". DONE
1st paragraph, 4th sentence. ... Ernie O"Malley died ... – GACR Rule 1a "spelling". O"Malley (fdouble quote instead of apostrophe in his name) DONE thank you

Legacy – revisited

1st paragraph, 3rd sentence. ... Richard English considers that ... – GACR Rule GACR Rule 1a "concise". I think you need not mention Richard English here. He is not widely known. He is mentioned of course in the citation, which suffices.) DONE
3rd paragraph, 1st sentence. ... by Frances-Mary Blake ... – GACR Rule GACR Rule 1a "concise". I hink you need not mention Mary-Frances Blake here. She is not widely known. She is mentioned of course in the citation, which suffices. DONE
6th paragraph, 1st sentence. ... scéal ... – GACR Rule GACR Rule 1a "understanding". It seems that scéal [ʃci:al] means story. It seems that this TV film is in Irish and the TG4 is an Irish TV channel. Was this only released in Irish? In the context of the English Wikipedia, it might be better to mention the English version . NOTE: I've added the English translation in [ ]. There is no English version I'm aware of, and TG4 is an Irish-language station.
6th paragraph, 1st sentence. ... TG4 ... – GACR Rule GACR Rule 1a "understanding". Link TG4. DONE
7th paragraph, 1st sentence. ... TG4 ... – GACR Rule GACR Rule 1a "understanding". Link Ken Loach. DONE

Johannes Schade (talk) 12:25, 21 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Works

The section called Works or Publications, mentioned in MOS:LAYOUT and explained in detail in MOS:WORKS should contain either as only content or together with text explaining or describing the works, a bulleted list of works, ordered by date of publication. MOS:WORKS gives as examples Nicholson Baker, Max Beerbohm, and Henry James. Others are: John Neal (writer) (FA), Honoré de Balzac (FA), J. D. Salinger (GA), F. Scott Fitzgerald (GA). I recently had the honour to promote Hugo Krabbe to GA, which is a biography that conatins a list of works. I therefore propose that create a list of woirks at the bottom of the section "Works". I recommend the format used in Hugo Krabbe, but you can create your own format by looking at the examples and comply with the instructions in MOS:WORKS. The list should omit O'Malley's name as it ia list of His publications. It should whenever possible include a clickable URL opening an online version of the publication (not the URL of the editing house or of Worldcat.) The list will probably have a lot of overlatp with the list under "Writings" in your "Bibliography" section but this cannot be helped. COMMENT: Johannes, please see below in "Bibliography" for my observations on works, sources, etc. in relation to structure.

10th paragraph, 1st sentence. ... and has covered those he made ... – GACR Rule GACR Rule 1a "grammar". I suggest to replace "those" with "the interviews". DONE
11th paragraph, last sentence. There also exist ... – GACR Rule GACR Rule 1a "concise". I suggest to start the sentence with "his extensive diaries" and say something about them e.g. tell use where they are preserved. DONE

Notes

One should be able to read these notes in this section without referring to the place where there mqarls appear in the text. None of them should start with "This". NOTE: I am not sure what you mean. What is different to References, where the relevant footnote numbers occur (all 293 of them)?

References

General remark about your citation style – You use <ref> </ref> with inbetween either a descriptive text or a template. There are three types of texts, long ones, middle ones, and short ones; for example: <ref>Harry F. Martin with Cormac O'Malley (2021). ''Ernie O'Malley: A Life'' (Newbridge, IAP), between pp. 136 and 137</ref> <ref>O'Malley, ''On Another Man's Wound"'', pp. 114-17</ref> <ref>English, p. 3</ref>

The short ones seem to refer to the descriptions in the list in the Bibliogrphy section.

When a template is used the citation looks like this: <ref>{{cite book|author=Peter Cottrell|title=The Anglo-Irish War: The Troubles of 1913–1922|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=qMpGh8UyICgC|access-date=19 December 2014|series=Essential Histories|volume=65|year=2006|publisher=Osprey Publishing|isbn=978-1-84603-023-9|page=47}} <ref>{{cite book|author=Peter Cottrell|title=The Anglo-Irish War: The Troubles of 1913–1922|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=qMpGh8UyICgC|access-date=19 December 2014|series=Essential Histories|volume=65|year=2006|publisher=Osprey Publishing|isbn=978-1-84603-023-9|page=47}} <ref>{{cite journal |last1=Cullen |first1=Niall| last2=McCreanor| first2= Kyle|title="'Dangerous Friends': Irish Republican Relations with Basque and Catalan Nationalists, 1916-26 |journal=International History Review|date=2022 |volume= 44|issue=6 |pages=1193–1210 |doi=10.1080/07075332.2022.2045339 |s2cid=247340368 |url=https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/07075332.2022.2045339}}</ref> <ref name=dib>{{cite web|url=https://www.dib.ie/biography/omalley-ernest-bernard-ernie-a6885|title=O'Malley, Ernest Bernard|work=[[Dictionary of Irish Biography]]|author=Richard English|access-date=22 September 2022}}</ref> Wikipedia does not prescribe a citation style, but the article seems to use a mixt and inconsistent citation system.

I propose to a systematic and consistent style that is not far from what the article already uses: shortened citations. <ref>{{cite book|author=Peter Cottrell|title=The Anglo-Irish War: The Troubles of 1913–1922|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=qMpGh8UyICgC|access-date=19 December 2014|series=Essential Histories|volume=65|year=2006|publisher=Osprey Publishing|isbn=978-1-84603-023-9|page=47}} -> {{Sfn|Cotrell|2006|p=47}} <ref>Harry F. Martin with Cormac O'Malley (2021). ''Ernie O'Malley: A Life'' (Newbridge, IAP), between pp. 136 and 137</ref> -> {{Sfn|Martin|O'Malley|2021|loc=between pp. 136 and 137}} <ref>O'Malley, ''On Another Man's Wound"'', pp. 114-17</ref> -> {{Sfn|O'Malley|20013|pp=114–117}} <ref>English, p. 3</ref> -> {{Sfn|English|1988|p=3}} <ref>{{cite book|author=Peter Cottrell|title=The Anglo-Irish War: The Troubles of 1913–1922|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=qMpGh8UyICgC|access-date=19 December 2014|series=Essential Histories|volume=65|year=2006|publisher=Osprey Publishing|isbn=978-1-84603-023-9|page=47}} -> {{Sfn|Cotrell|2006|p=47}} COMMENT: Johannes, I believe my referencing style is clean, accurate, consistent and concise for a GA (it is not for a FA). As is the case with most historical works, I give the full bibliographic citation on first occurrence, then a shortened form thereafter. Consecutively, a citation can be traced back to the previous occurrence. Where an author (like O'Malley himself) has multiple works, the short form makes clear which one is being cited, e.g. "O'Malley, The Singing Flame, p. 25". Where an author is referred to only once, e.g. Martin's "Ernie O'Malley, a Life", then "Martin, p. 35" can refer *only to that work. Where someone like Richard English has one main work "the IRA Intellectual" book), then it can be assumed that "English, p. 71" refers to that work only. If, as is the case once, English is cited again for a different work, then the next time the "IRA Intellectual" book is cited, it is referred to with a shortened title in order to avoid any ambiguity. There is no obligation to find an online source for everything cited, but where it is readily accessible I have done so. All in all, my referencing is clear and uncluttered. In answer to your question below, I am unaware whether this referencing style, which is very common in academia, is employed in other articles. But am confident it stands up to close scrutiny.

Bibliography

WP:LAYOUT says "'Bibliography' is discouraged because it is not clear whether it is limited to the works of the subject of the article". I suggest the name "Sources". As this is the list of the cited sources, only the cited edition of each source should be given. I proposed to make this a single list and to ignore the distinction between primary and secondary. The primary sources are discussed and listed in the section "Works". This unified list should be completed to include all the books, journals and newpapers cited, ordered by the surnames of the main authors.

The list should use the Cite book, Cite journal, Cite news, Cite web templates: Ernie O'Malley (1936). ''On Another Man's Wound'' (London, Rich & Cowan). Revised edition 2002, expanded edition 2013 -> {{Cite book|last=O'Malley|first=Ernest |date=2013 |title=On Another Man's Wound |edition=Expanded |publisher==[[Mercier Press|The Mercier Press]] |location=Cork |isbn=9781781171493 }} (please check whether this is right) * Richard English (1988). ''Ernie O'Malley: IRA Intellectual'' (Oxford, OUP) https://academic.oup.com/book/11932 -> {{Cite book|last=English|first=Richard |date=1988 |title=Ernie O'Malley: IRA Intellectual |edition=Expanded |publisher===[[Oxford University Press]] |location=Oxford |isbn=0-19-820595-3 |url=https://archive.org/details/ernieomalleyirai0000engl/ |url-access=registration}} (please check)

and so on. I will of course assist you when you encounter problems. Best regards, Johannes Schade (talk) 19:44, 21 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Hello Johannes, you said early on that it was not required to use any particular referencing style. But it appears that you are contradicting yourself by insisting on "cite", if I understand you correctly (sincere apologies if not)? The style I employ is clear and I haven't the time or knowledge to change everything over to something messy I'm unfamiar with and that takes ages to implement – unless you'd like to do so yourself? I'll change any "cite" forms to the prevalent style to ensure that it is consistent throughout, but am unable to do more than that. Also, have you not changed your mind again about a bulleted list in 'Works', as per the discussion just before you were absent for a period? Unlike with the referencing, I've no problem doing so other than it looks odd (IMHO). Thanks and best regards to you Billsmith60 (talk) 23:26, 21 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Dear Billsmith60, thanks for your reaction. I do understand. You are right to say that the GA criteria do not require a particular referencing style. References are dealt with in Criterion 2a WP:GACR, which requires "a list of all references ... presented in accordance with the layout style guideline". The relevant part of the layout style guideline is MOS:NOTE, which says "Editors may use any citation method they choose, but it should be consistent within an article." I thought your citations were inconsistent because they use a mix of shortened and full citations in an insconsistent manner and in the shortened citations an unlinked and incomplete list of source descriptions. Your shortened citations (e.g. English, p. 3) do not link to the corresponding entry in the source list. This link would be provided if Sfn and Cite book were used. Sfn and Cite book is not messy. This method is used in many recent FAs , e.g. Frederick the Great. I am not sure whether your citations comply with Criterion 2a. Do you know of articles with similar citation style that have passed GA? With thanks and best regards, Johannes Schade (talk) 09:42, 22 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]

NOTE: I had another look at the structure and find that there is no obligation to have a list of "works/sources" cited. All that is usual is "References". "Notes", "Further Reading" and "See also". Hence, I've adopted that layout other than for "External links" instead of "See also". A bulleted list of O'Malley's own works, six in total, appears at the top of "Works" as you recommended. Therefore, all the stuff about what to list and where in "sources/secondary sources is irrelevant", as these are not needed for a GA. If anyone is in any doubt about the extensive sources used, let them search online for them as you have done in your extensive and forensic assessment of this article. As noted before, I will be unavailable for several days from tomorrow (Tue.) but hope to come back and tweak anything else last minute - other than any significant revision to my referencing or layout. We must surely be very close either to a pass or fail, whatever it be. My very best wishes to you this lovely day Billsmith60 (talk) 13:52, 24 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Last things

I hope we really come to the end here.

Lead – revisited

1st paragraph, 1st sentence. ... an Irish republican and writer ... – GACR Rule GACR Rule 1a "grammar". Please repeat the article for clarity -> an Irish republican and a writer.

I came across the FA Norman conquest, nominated by User:Ealdgyth and promoted in 2005, which combines plain-text "short citations" with a source list. This come close to what you are using. It appears that it is OK to have short "plain-text" citations together with a list of full citations without a link between the two.

I will promote this now. Best regards, Johannes Schade (talk) 17:02, 2 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]