Talk:Enrico Alfano/GA1
GA Review
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Reviewer: MPJ-DK (talk · contribs) 15:53, 5 March 2016 (UTC)
Full disclosure: I am a WIki Cup and GA Cup participant, I have my own GAN (CMLL World Tag Team Championship) and I also have a Feature Article (CMLL World Heavyweight Championship) and Feature List (Mexican National Light Heavyweight Championship) candidates in need of input. Not that it's a factor in my review but it would be appreciated.
I am about to start my review of this article, normally I provide my input in bits and pieces over a day or two so expect running updates for a while. MPJ-US 15:53, 5 March 2016 (UTC)
GA Toolbox
[edit]I like to get this checked out first, I have found issues using this that has led to quick fails so it's important this passes muster.
- Peer Review
- So is the article conforming to American or British spelling?
Done British, except for the direct quotes
- Please use the "non-breaking space" between measurements and their units. Ex "250 kilometres" should be "250& nbsp;kilometres" (note: remove the space)
Done
- Copyright violations
- this link outlines an issue of some repeated phrase from a separate source, they are not significant enough to be outright violations. Please do check on the link and see if you can rephrase some of it.
Done I did rephrase some of it, what remains is minor and/or inevitable.
- Disambiguation links
- checks out.
- External links
- checks out.
Images
[edit]- No copyright issues due to their age, so that is fine.
- None of the pictures have alt text, please add those.
Not done Not a requirement for GA
Sources
[edit]- New York Times should be linked in the citation, at least the first time it's cited.
Done
- All web based sources should have an accessdate.
Not done Do you mean that all references to the newspapers for instance need to have an accessdate? I am afraid I don't remember when I did access them.
- Some dates are listed as "June 1, 1911" others use "1911-06-01", please pick a consistent format.
Done
General review
[edit]- "He was a man of commanding presence." - This is just a sentence fragment, can you elaborate?
Done
- " complicity with the thieves, but was" - no need for the comma
Done
- "injured by knife by ruffians" - repeating the "by" is just poor English, can you reword it
Done
- "encouraged by the Camorra and the police."... to do what?
- "raided the apartment in 108 Mulberry Street" should be "at 108"
Done
- "After a 17-month trial" - comma after trial.
Done
- "After his conviction Alfano", comma after convicion.
Done
- "In prison he took on the old family" - shouldn't that be "took up"?
Done
- Foreign language words such as "Cammora" should be in italics, the article is pretty consistent on other words but not this one.
Not done I am afraid I have to disagree, just as the word Mafia, Camorra has become common in English and does not need to be italicized.
- "known as the Saredo Inquiry since it was led by senator Giuseppe Saredo and which unearthed an extensive political patronage system in the city of Naples.[5]" - this detail seems to be superflous to Alfano.
Done Added a sentence to clarify.
- The very next sentence is a total odds with the fact that a 1901 report did not mention him, but he was apparently the head of the organization from 1892?
Done Added a sentence to clarify.
- Using the term "rise to power" and then equating it to being arrested seems odd.
Done Rephrased.
- Still not sure of the timing of what is mentioned in the "early life" section, any posibility of putting some years in there?
Done No exact chronology is available, but I did put some years.
- The investigation got new momentum when Gennaro Abbatemaggio, a young camorrista and a former Carabinieri informer serving a jail sentence in Naples gave", should be a comma after "Naples"
Done
- @DonCalo: - This is generally a really well written, well sourced article. Only a few things to point out. I will probably read through it again but for now I am putting it on hold for 7 days to allow for improvements to be made
- Forgot to sign the above comment, it was made March 5, which means that I would need to see activity by March 12 to keep this review open. MPJ-US 12:45, 8 March 2016 (UTC)
- @DonCalo: - So this has sat for for seven days with no signs of activity at all. At this point I am going to go ahead and fail the article, but feel free to address the issues and then submit it for GA again. MPJ-US 14:13, 12 March 2016 (UTC)
- @MPJ-DK: - Sorry, I was unable to answer your suggestions at the time. I did work on them later on. DonCalo (talk) 07:14, 5 June 2016 (UTC)