Talk:Empire of Death (Doctor Who episode)/GA1

GA Review

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Nominator: OlifanofmrTennant (talk · contribs) 22:09, 23 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: FishLoveHam (talk · contribs) 22:24, 31 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Hi! I'll be taking on this review . FishLoveHam (talk) 22:24, 31 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

A really strong Doctor Who nomination overall.

Infobox and lede

Remove a comma after "story".
Add a comma after "in this episode".

Plot

"on top of" → "atop" (less wordy).
"He explains" → Who explains, Sutekh or the Doctor?
"which" → "that".
"visit 2046" → "visit the year 2046".
Add commas surrounding "to make him stop".
Add a comma after "compulsory".
"death" → "deaths".
"got" → "had".
~~Earwig's Copyvio Detector has reported 85.1% in similarity, mainly from the plot summary. Per WP:Plagarism, I think you should cite the reference it was copied from.~~

I'm an editor who did a lot of work on the plot summary. I'm commenting on this GA review to say that I believe the copyvio is the other way around. Although I am unable to see the 85.1% similarity result on Earwing as I get a HTTP Error 429 when using it, I have put a random paragraph from the plot in Google and searched for it instead. If the result from my search (a site named Tragical History Tour) is the same site Earwig is finding, that site has clearly copied the plot from the Wikipedia article for their page. JustAnotherCompanion (talk) 05:53, 2 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Production

Development

"says" → "said".
"premise of the story" → "story's premise".
Remove the comma after "original "aesthetic" of Sutekh".
Remove the comma after "design provided by Davies".
Add a comma after "commentary".
Remove "actually" (redundant).
"he had originally" → "he initially".

Filming

Add a comma after "London".
"With Bonnie Langford's Mel specifically noticing" remove "with" and "noticing" → "notices".
Add a comma after "thus".
"usage" → "use".
"sixtieth anniversary" → "sixtieth-anniversary".
"in order to" → "to".

Casting

"which" → "that".

Broadcast and reception

Broadcast

"and followed" → "and was followed".
"its" → "it".
"The first appearance of Sutekh" → "Sutekh's first appearance".
Repetition of "broadcast" in the same sentence. Maybe change one to "aired".
Add a colon after "previous episode".

Ratings

"Griffin stated that it was likely that the episode was viewed by significantly more people" remove the second "that". Done
"most-profitable" → "most profitable" Done

Critical reception

I recommend altering the heading to "Critical response", but not a requirement.

References

Ref 6 and 21 are the same. Done
CultBox is misspelled in ref 18. Done
Sources are archived.
Ping when done. FishLoveHam (talk) 09:32, 1 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
@FishLoveHam: Done. Questions? four Olifanofmrtennant (she/her) 22:39, 9 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
OlifanofmrTennant (talk · contribs) TheDoctorWho (talk · contribs) Pokelego999 (talk · contribs) Nice work.

I believe I've addressed all the comments in the Infobox and lede, plot, and production sections. I'll leave the rest for my co-nominators. TheDoctorWho (talk) 04:25, 8 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Progress

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
It is reasonably well written. a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): It is factually accurate and verifiable, as shown by a source spot-check. a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism): It is broad in its coverage. a (major aspects): b (focused): It follows the neutral point of view policy. Fair representation without bias: It is stable. No edit wars, etc.: It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate. a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall: Pass/Fail:
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