Talk:Elvis (1968 TV program)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Adamstom.97 (talk · contribs) 20:38, 20 October 2018 (UTC)

I think this has been waiting for long enough for a review. I'll be back soon with some feedback on the article. - adamstom97 (talk) 20:38, 20 October 2018 (UTC)

Here are some things that I would like to see fixed up before I promote the article to GA:

• The rest of the article includes an apostrophe in the alternate title "'68 Comeback Special".
• I think the lead could be expanded a little bit, with the reception stuff split-off to its own paragraph and a bit more detail put into the production summary.
• When did he return from the army?
• Can you make sure that you are consistently giving the year of release when introducing a film throughout the article?
• "money problems" --> "financial troubles" or something like that.
• Did Elvis actually write the film score for Girl Happy?
• "led Wallis opt" --> "led Wallis to opt".
• I can't tell what the relevance of the image with Elvis and Joan Blondell to the rest of the article is.
• I think the reception stuff is quite quote-heavy. A bit of paraphrasing here would help.
• The "Aftermath" section looks like it would work fine, if not better, as a top-level section, just looking at the overall structure of the page.

Work through those and let me know if you have any questions. - adamstom97 (talk) 00:04, 21 October 2018 (UTC)

Thanks for starting to review my article!

All fixed. About the image with Elvis and Joanne Blondell, I happened to use it because it was taken in October 1967, as the negotiations for the special started. I could always place it under the "Background" section if more appropriate. I felt it to be relevant since it shows our subject around the time, plus by the picture you may -or may not- grasp the quality of movies he was involved in at the time. And give the reader and idea as to what pushed Elvis into refreshing his music and make changes.--GDuwenTell me! 17:13, 22 October 2018 (UTC)

Good job. On the image, I think it is fine I just feel like you could re-write the caption to make it more clear why it is there, since I did not make the connection until you explained it for me here. Give that a go and see what you come up with. - adamstom97 (talk) 19:34, 23 October 2018 (UTC)

Well, I wanted the reader to make the connection by just seeing the picture, but guess the caption I wrote can lead them to the right path now. I don't want to particularly criticize the movie, but like said, its contemporaneous to the NBC deal. And it shows Elvis in the typical cheesy-comedy situation you could see in his movies from the mid to late sixties.--GDuwenTell me! 20:20, 24 October 2018 (UTC)

If it seems relevant to you for the article, I remember particularly that on that movie (Stay Away Joe), Elvis had one of his most humiliating moments on the screen. He played an Indian who worked on a reservation wrangling cattle. On a scene, a bull is refusing to mate. The producers made him sing a song called "Dominic" (often dubbed "Dominic, The Impotent Bull"). He was embarrassed enough that he requested his producer to never release it in any recordings. I think it first saw the light in an 80s compilation called Elvis' Greatest Shit.--GDuwenTell me! 20:35, 24 October 2018 (UTC)

It just wasn't clear to me what connection you were trying to make. I think it is fine now. Overall, I think this is a good article, with writing, coverage, media, etc. all up to scruff now. Good work. Pass - adamstom97 (talk) 01:19, 25 October 2018 (UTC)