Talk:Electriquette/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Nominator: Bruxton (talk · contribs) 00:42, 21 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Marshelec (talk · contribs) 20:28, 4 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I will review this GA nomination over the next few days.Marshelec (talk) 20:28, 4 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Bruxton: Here is detailed feedback on the article. I will put the review on hold pending your response to these points. My intention is that when you have responded, I will put strike-throughs in all of the points that have been resolved._Marshelec (talk) 01:01, 6 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Citations and sources

Citation 1 - currently uses the cite book template, but the original source is actually a journal, so it should use the cite journal template. The volume field should be added: volume=114. It also has a typo that needs fixing. Add field: title=Electricity. Consider adding field: via=Google Books
Citation 2 - the source date needs amendment. It was updated on 27 August 2024.
Citation 3 - currently uses the cite book template, but the original source is actually a journal, so it should use the cite journal template. The author O.E. Thomas should be included in the cite. Page numbers 299-300 should be added. The volume XVIII should be added as the field: volume=XVIII, and not be included in the title. Add field:title=The Osborn Electriquette. Consider adding field: via=Google Books
Citation 4 - does not require both of the fields Publisher and Name of the website. I recommend using only the Publisher field.
Citation 5 - Add the field: date=22 May 1915. The name of the work The Press of Atlantic City could be wikilinked. Add the field: url-access=subscription. Add the field: page=11. Also add the field: via=Newspapers.com . Finally, because this is a paywalled site, the archive is not really usable, and I recommend it is deleted.
Citation 6 - currently uses the cite book template, but the original source is actually a journal, so it should use the cite journal template. Add the field: volume=75. Add the field: issue=1. Add the field: date=25 June 2015. Add the field: title=The electric wheel-chair. Consider adding field: via=Google Books
Citation 7 - currently uses the cite book template, but tthe original source is actually a journal, so it should use the cite journal template. Add the field: volume=XXXIX. Add the field: issue=1. Add the field: date=10 February 2015. Add the field: title=Electric wheel chairs win favor. Consider adding field: via=Google Books
Citation 8 - add date field: 28 March 2016. The format of the Name of the website should be: SanDiegoVille.com
Citation 9 - change the author. Appears to be Darlene G. Davies (see bottom of page at the source)
Citation 10 - currently uses the cite book template, but the original source is actually a journal, so it should use the cite journal template. Add the field: volume=27. Add the field: date=6 May 1915. Add the field: page=27. Add the field: title=Motor cars on display at Panama-Pacific Exposition. Consider adding field: via=Google Books
Citation 11 - currently uses the cite book template, but the original source is actually a journal, so it should use the cite journal template. Add the field: volume=VI. Add the field: issue=5. Add the field: date=May 2015. Add the field: title=The evolution of the electric wheel chair. Add the author: A. Jackson Marshall. Consider adding field: via=Google Books
Citation 13 - currently uses the cite web template, but the original source is actually a book, so it should use the cite book template. Requires addition of the field: page=53. I recommend adding the field: via= University of California San Diego (rather than the field: Name of the website)
Citation 16 - currently uses the cite news template, but the original source is actually a journal, so it should use the cite journal template.

The lead

In the first sentence I recommend rewording to avoid two uses of the word seat in the one sentence.
On first reading, I was surprised to encounter the term "chair" in the final sentence of the lead. This term was unexpected at that point. In the Background section, the term "cart" is used. I recommend some changes to ensure the reader is introduced to both of these terms early in the article. One option is to make a comparison to motorized wheelchair. This could be done in the second sentence, by expanding to something like: The vehicle was an early form of battery-powered motorized wheelchair or cart, and used a motor manufactured by General Electric. However, there will be many alternative options.

Specifications

The phrase The two rear wheels were 14 in (360 mm) and they were attached to the chassis. needs rewording. The source says that the rear wheels were independently supported on bearings fixed to the frame.
recommend replacing ...GE-1042 rated producing 3/8 horsepower with model GE-1042 producing 3⁄8 horsepower
I suggest a rewording of this phrase Power was delivered to one of the rear wheels which had a sprocket, to A driving sprocket was fitted to one of the rear wheels, (the inclusion of "driving" seems important here).
the means of supplying driving power to the rear wheel and the existence of the drum brake are stated in both the 7th and 9th sentences. This could be rationalised with some rearranging of content and editing, to minimise duplication.
I was not able to verify the phrase The vehicle was 8 inches (200 mm) off the ground .. from the cited source. However, I was only able to access the rather poor quality OCR text of the source, not the original image. Is this describing the ground clearance ?? Stating that the vehicle is "off the ground" sounds odd.

History

In the sentence The 1915 Panama–California Exposition in San Diego California, featured Electriquettes which were small electric carts made out of wicker.. The phrase "which were small electric carts made of wicker" is an unnecessary duplication, since the description is covered earlier in the article. No comma is needed after "California".
the quotation taken from the Official Guide Book is missing the word "thoroughly"
Variations of the vehicles were also manufactured for disabled veterans of World War I. The cited source indicates that it was a Swiss manufacturer who made the version for disabled people. To avoid any misunderstanding, I recommend changing the text to something like: A Swiss manufacturer produced a variation of the Electriquette as an electric wheelchair for use by disabled veterans of ...
There is duplication in these two sentences that needs to be resolved: The new carts were introduced to Balboa Park in 2016. On August 14, 2016, the redesigned Electriquette was reintroduced to Balboa Park.

Images and captions

I could not find a source that supports the identification of Mabel Normand in the image caption for the top image. It is not stated on page 53 of the Official Guidebook. Please clarify.

Summary

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
It is reasonably well written. a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): It is factually accurate and verifiable, as shown by a source spot-check. a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism): It is broad in its coverage. a (major aspects): b (focused): It follows the neutral point of view policy. Fair representation without bias: It is stable. No edit wars, etc.: It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate. a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall: Pass/Fail:
· · ·