Talk:El Shaddai: Ascension of the Metatron/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Tintor2 (talk · contribs) 22:49, 25 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

I'll be reviewing the article in exchange from Protodrake's review.Tintor2 (talk) 22:49, 25 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

It is reasonably well written.
a. (prose, spelling, and grammar):

b. (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a. (reference section):

b. (citations to reliable sources):

c. (OR):

d. (copyvio and plagiarism):
It is broad in its coverage.
a. (major aspects):

b. (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a. (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales):

b. (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/fail:

(Criteria marked are unassessed)

@ProtoDrake:

Lead

I'd suggest giving Enoch a proper introduction in both the lead and his first mention in the body. I think only readers of the original book would understand where is based on.
- Did my best here, described him as an "immortal scribe" as trying to describe him further's gonna get very wordy.
The lead is kinda small for so much content. I would suggest the first one to be focused on the narrative and gameplay, the second one on its development and the third one its reception and legacy.
- Expanded a bit.

Gameplay

First mention of Enoch needs an introduction.
- Again, did my best without being too wordy.
How unique is the use of a motorbike when compared to the other levels? You mean exploration of levels are done through the bike?
- I've clarified. It's one single setpiece, but it's mentioned in reviews enough that it seemed notable to include. And setpieces like this are brought up in development.
I have no problems with the boss image but I would suggest one on a typical stage too if possible like what is the health bar.
- Couldn't find any images of the second playthough where traditional HUD/UI is available.

Synopsis

The Grigoris could be introduced all together like "Semyaza who leads the" in a single sentence.
- Did my best here.
Not an expert in but can one sentence be reworded as "across the game" and then Enoch. I'm kinda lost what is the premise and Enoch does ever since the first level.
- Sorry about these instances. Did my best, but the story style is extremely esoteric. Just an example, the travelling for 300 years bit is dealt with in...a single side-scrolling level with narration and background art.

Audio.

Just as suggestion but there is a free image for the actor of Enoch even if he is kinda silent.
- Used one of Isaacs.

Reception

There are some repeated words due to the focus "X said this" like storytelling.
- Did my best to tweak things here.
"Reception was generally positive, with most critics focusing praise on its visual design and variety.[86]" This seems like more fitting introduction to the final paragraph of the critical response due the content.
- I was using that as a follow-up to the metacriric stuff, and the "variety" bit's about the gameplay. I've specified that now. --ProtoDrake (talk) 09:46, 26 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

That's all. While the reception could be toned down in generalizations, it's in good state for a GA. Just revise this and I'll gladly pass it.Tintor2 (talk) 23:48, 25 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

@Tintor2: Did my best with your points above. --ProtoDrake (talk) 09:46, 26 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Passing the review. Good workTintor2 (talk) 13:35, 26 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]