Talk:Edward Creutz/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Peacemaker67 (talk · contribs) 08:43, 24 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Rate	Attribute	Review Comment
1. Well-written:
	1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct.	Lead 1945, Creutz ~~was~~ accepted an offer to join the... suggest While there he accepted an offer to become Vice President for Research and Development and Director of the John Jay Hopkins Laboratory for Pure and Applied Science at the General Atomics division of General Dynamics. Early life suggest He played in the Janesville High School and Monroe High School bands. Rosie’s Ragador's or Rosie’s Ragadors? 1929, he took a job suggest Creutz encountered several members of faculty at the University of Wisconsin, including... upgrading the departmental... KeV and MeV would stand some explanation for the casual reader. comma after "With this done" suggest Creutz married Lela Rollefsonon on September 13, 1937. Lela was a mathematics student at Wisconsin, and the sister of Ragnar Rollefson. World War II link graphite be extruded it into rods Later life Creutz ~~was~~ accepted suggest replacing to come to the Carnegie Institute of Technology with to join his department suggest For a time, this put them at the forefront of research into nuclear physics... the head of the Nuclear Research Center a year at ~~the~~ Los Alamos suggest 66 TRIGAs into 24 different countries Between 1962 and 1974 heCreutz... appointed Creutz as Assistant Director... suggest a study called The Nation's Energy Future. suggest ~~The~~His appointment at...
	1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.	the lead is very big for the article, could bear some trimming. the lead (and body of the article to a lesser extent) are overlinked. WWII, Manhattan project, Metallurgical Lab, Los Alamos Lab, Carnegie Institute, General Atomics and nuclear reactor are all overlinked in the lead, uranium. thorium, Fred Seitz, and nuclear reactor in the body
2. Verifiable with no original research:
	2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline.	the fourth paragraph of the Later life section lacks a citation at the end
	2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).
	2c. it contains no original research.
3. Broad in its coverage:
	3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic.
	3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).
	4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.
	5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
	6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content.
	6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.	the infobox pic would benefit from a caption to indicate Creutz's age at the time it was taken
	7. Overall assessment.	~~Placing on hold for seven days for above comments to be addressed. Peacemaker67 (crack... thump) 10:15, 24 December 2014 (UTC)~~ Passing, all comments addressed satisfactorily.[reply]

I have reduced the lead, and removed the duplicate links. I made all the suggested changes except one. I felt that saying that TRIGA was sold to 24 countries (I removed the "different") may have implied that it was sold to the government, when most were sold to universities or research institutes. I think Ann Jo may have told me where and when the photograph was taken, but I do not have access to my email at the present time. Hawkeye7 (talk) 20:49, 24 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Fair enough. Passing, well done. Peacemaker67 (crack... thump) 07:21, 25 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]