Talk:Eastbourne manslaughter/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Malleus Fatuorum 18:39, 3 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Detailed comments to follow.

Lead

A bit on the short side to be an adequate summary of the article. For instance there's nothing about Hopley's later life after prison, and no explanation of why he had beaten Cancellor.

Background

Do we know what it was that Hopley was teaching Cancellor?

Do we know what the name of the boarding school was?

In this section, as in the others as well, there's a citation after every sentence, but often it's the same citation. For instance the first two sentences of this section are both cited to ref #2, where all that's required is a citation to ref #2 after the second of them on the basis that a citation covers everything that precedes it.

Death

"... Hopley incited suspicion". You don't incite suspicion do you? You arouse it.

Trial

"Upon hearing of his indictment, he wrote ...". This reads very strangely, almost as if Hopley wasn't actually at the trial himself and someone told him about the outcome.

Reaction

"Upon Hopley's release from prison, he was immediately brought into a sensationalized divorce trial with his wife Fanny. The judge decided against her, which sparked outrage among the public." I'm not getting this at all. Did Fanny sue for divorce? On what grounds? Does "found against her" mean that the divorce petition was unsuccessful? Why was the public outraged?

Do we know if Hopley continued with his teaching career after being released from prison?

Thanks for the review! I've addressed most of the smaller issues, but will need to review the sources to answer your questions. I'll revisit this review tomorrow. Cheers, Nikkimaria (talk) 22:24, 3 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]

There's no rush, just let me know when you're done. Re the school, I was thinking that if it still exists then a photo of it might be a nice addition, but of course that's got nothing to do with the success or failure of this review, just a suggestion. Malleus Fatuorum 22:43, 3 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Okay, some answers for you:

None of the sources I've read are specific on this point. The closest we get is a passing remark that Cancellor couldn't tell the difference between a sixpence and a shilling
"a private school, a surrogate home in which he had been paid to educate Cancellor" is about as specific as it gets. Amended to reflect that.
I've expanded the last section a bit
No source specifically says he did or didn't, although it seems unlikely. Nikkimaria (talk) 13:18, 4 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]

A picture or two would do. Are there any photographs of some of the places involved, or any pictures from the press at the time available? Petter Bøckman (talk) 07:44, 5 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]

None that I've been able to find. I could probably find a more general picture, like of Eastbourne or of corporal punishment, but I'm somewhat reluctant to do that. Nikkimaria (talk) 13:17, 5 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I'm happy with this now, so I'm listing the article as a GA. Malleus Fatuorum 14:20, 5 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.