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Basically, I saw instances where there were commas where none are needed, and a spot where there was a period when it should've been a comma or semicolon. For example, "The eldest of three children, Ponting emulated the feats of his father, playing cricket in summer and Australian rules football in winter, before breaking his arm while playing for a junior North Launceston Football Club team as a 15-year-old." The comma after winter is not needed, since it's continuing the same thought. Wizardman16:40, 15 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]
You mention (Sheffield) Shield in the lead but there's no link or full name there, which there should be.
"He received a bat sponsorship with Kookaburra Sport when in year eight," the 'when in year eight' part sounds odd, though i think i know what you mean; just reword it a bit.
"Graeme was "a good club cricketer" and played Australian rules, while Lorraine was a state vigoro champion." If it's a quote from somewhere it needs a cite.
"On the Monday he struggled to trouble the scorers, but bounced back with a century on Tuesday. Wednesday saw him make 117 not out and he continued his form into Thursday and Friday, scoring centuries on each day." A date would be needed to start, I have no idea which Monday etc. it is.
"Playing five games for Tasmania for the 1992 Under–19 carnival in Perth, Ponting scored 350 runs, " Is carnival jargon for something, or that just a misprint?
It's a nice article but it definitely needs some work yet. I'll put it on hold. After this is all finished I'd like to have someone outside copyedit it if possible, it's likely I missed other things. Upon completion of all that, I'll pass it. Wizardman04:54, 15 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]
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