Talk:Dunkerque-class battleship/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Sturmvogel 66 (talk · contribs) 15:59, 6 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]

I'll get to this shortly.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 15:59, 6 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]

No DABs
Images appropriately licensed
Be consistent about the gun mounts in the infobox
- Good catch
link tons in the infobox and in the main body
- Done
330 mm and 280 mm were converted in the lede, removed subsequent conversions
- Done
First linked in the lede: capital ship, heavy cruiser, Bretagne class, Washington Treaty, Deutschland class, battlecruiser, Dunkerque and Strasbourg
- Removed
Figure for beam doesn't match between infobox and main body and provide a range for the differences between the two ship in the infobox
- Fixed the box - I generally prefer to just list the dimensions of the first ship of the class
Does anyone honestly care about the ships' anchors?
- Probably not
Link reconnaissance aircraft
- Done
four sets Parsons geared steam turbines sets "of"
- Good catch
for its propulsion "their"
- Fixed
Be consistent if you're going to use the French names for the armament. And if you are, use the full name, ie Canon de 330 mm, etc.
- Done
  - Need links for the 330 and 130mm guns--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 14:07, 17 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]
    - Done
shells to become jammed "becoming"
- Fixed
Explain caliber length or rephrase to something like 45-caliber 330 mm guns with a link.
- Done
, both of which weighed. ??
- Must've gotten rewritten a few too many times ;)
Close range hyphenate
- Done
twin mounts for Dunkerque and eight such guns for Strasbourg, along with thirty-two 13.2 mm (0.52 in) guns in quadruple mounts and thirty-six guns for Strasbourg. Rework this to give the light AA armament for each ship
- Fixed
Down to Fire control, more later--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 00:59, 15 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]
I'd suggest using the catch-all Ship gun fire-control system in the fire control para instead of plotting board, which isn't quite correct, etc. I think that it's useful to emphasize that these were mechanical analog systems, not electronic ones. Also add something about the unreliable remote power control system.
- There's already a link to fire control system, I don't know that the ship-specific one adds any more than the naval section on that page (since the ship-specific one is, in large part, a list of British and US equipment). Good point on the reliability problems
Watch your .0s before CPA-5 tags you for them
- Fixed
Link central citadel, forecastle, Atlantic Squadron, dry dock, on first use
- Done, apart from Atlantic Squadron - there's no article on that as far as I can tell
Hyphenate main battery
- Done
Since the rear turret plates were rarely ever struck, I've stopped providing their thicknesses, but you may feel different.
- True, and in many cases they were simply mild steel plates meant just to balance the turrets, but I figure a complete description is better
335 millimetres (13.2 in) rear put this is adjectival form
- Fixed
Watch your roundings.
- I think this should be sorted now
Seems like the French did more than just consider replacing Dunkerque's aircraft facilities with more AA guns.
- Am I missing something? The wording on p. 56 is clear that this was not actually carried out. Or are you referring to the other work that was to be done?
  - I think so. Read the last clause of the sentence discussing the proposed modification.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 20:26, 17 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]
    - You've lost me - it says "it was envisaged that the aviation facilities would be removed and replaced by additional 37m CAD Mle 1933)" - there's nothing there that suggests to me that any work was done. Parsecboy (talk) 11:35, 18 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]
      - While Dunkerque was under repair at Toulon in 1942, consideration was given to replacing her aviation facilities with additional 37 mm guns to improve her anti-aircraft defences, but this work was not completed before the fleet was scuttled in November. The last clause implies the work was started.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 12:53, 18 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]
        Where is that? I'm looking at page 56 (and I don't see that in the section on light AA guns on pages 41 and 42 either). Parsecboy (talk) 13:12, 18 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]
        What a comedy of misunderstandings! That's your text that I'm quoting (<headslap>).--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 13:28, 18 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]
        Hahaha, now we're on the same page - changed "completed" to "begun". Parsecboy (talk) 17:07, 18 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Brest, France comma after France. Conversely drop the comma battleships Resolution,
- Fixed
prepare to scuttle their ships. When the Germans arrived in Toulon on 27 November, the work had been completed and de Laborde issued the order to scuttle the fleet. The last phrase seems redundant. Perhaps just end the sentence with "order"?
- Works for me
Don't think that we're supposed to have a see also section with just Commons and portal links.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 14:07, 17 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]
- Good point. Parsecboy (talk) 17:02, 17 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]
you missed my comment above about linking to the articles for the main and secondary guns.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 20:26, 17 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]