Talk:Drosophila silvestris/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Dunkleosteus77 (talk · contribs) 06:37, 11 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by Dunkleosteus77

Right off the bat, there seems to be a lot of organizational problems, and there doesn't seem to be much logic in how you've divvied up the article. The Description section only has one subsection Morphology, but if it has only one subsection, then you don't need it to be a separate subsection.

Fixed.--Mmhua (talk) 06:40, 20 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Why does Food resource only give one sentence on the larvae? What do adults eat? User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 06:37, 11 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed.--Mmhua (talk) 18:48, 24 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

In the caption, don't abbreviate C. montis-loa, give the genus name and wikilink it User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 06:37, 11 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed.--Mmhua (talk) 06:40, 20 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Why are Mating and Home range and territoriality complete separate from Social behavior? User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 06:37, 11 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed.--Mmhua (talk) 06:40, 20 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Why is Physiology completely separate from Description and Morphology? User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 06:37, 11 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed.--Mmhua (talk) 06:40, 20 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Why are Related species and Hybridization completely separated from the taxonomy section? User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 06:37, 11 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed.--Mmhua (talk) 06:40, 20 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

There's image stacking in the first half of the article but the second half is completely barren of images User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 06:37, 11 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed.--Mmhua (talk) 18:48, 24 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

"The rapid diversification of hundreds of new species makes Hawaiian Drosophila a prime example of adaptive radiation" contradicts the single species noted in the taxobox. Is it monotypic? If not, list out all the species User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 06:37, 11 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Hi! Could you clarify how this is contradictory? There are hundreds of new species of Hawaiian genus Drosophila, and Drosophila silvestris is simply one of the species. It is monotypic. Thanks! --Mmhua (talk) 06:40, 20 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Hi, thank you for your comments! To better understand the reasoning behind this article's organization, I (and other editors of this page) were advised to organize the headings based on the logic of the suggested "WikiProject Diptera Article Formats" page, which many members of this WikiProject have been using to improve Dipteran articles. According to these guidelines, "Social Behavior" should be separate from "Mating" and "Home Range and Territoriality" and "Physiology" should be separate from "Description." I will take your comments into account and make relevant changes in the upcoming few weeks!--Mmhua (talk) 23:41, 12 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

They're guidelines as opposed to hard rules. You should do what's best for the article rather than broad generalizations. In a bigger article with a lot of information specific to those topics, then yes, split them. But on a smaller article such as this, it's best to group them all together under broader headings. Even the GA housefly doesn't follow such a system User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 04:19, 13 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

I should also warn you I haven't even started reading the article yet, those are just broad structural comments. I'm sure there's still some more information you could add, I need to check. Also, italicize the scientific name even in the titles of your sources, and I'd imagine it has a common name (such as Hawaiian fly or something like that) User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 04:24, 13 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed the italicization! From my research, there is no common name.--Mmhua (talk) 06:46, 20 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

"In this lekking system" you say that as if you've already described the lekking system User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 19:41, 15 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed.--Mmhua (talk) 06:40, 20 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

"the male provides no resources like protection or food for the female" this effectively says "it's not a harem", and you don't need to specify what it is not User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 19:41, 15 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed.--Mmhua (talk) 06:40, 20 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

"In addition, his body movements communicate to the female his interest in mating" this is obvious so you don't need it User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 19:41, 15 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed.--Mmhua (talk) 06:40, 20 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Why is the section titled Parental care when there is no parental care going on? Also information on reproduction should be paired with information on mating User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 19:41, 15 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed.--Mmhua (talk) 06:40, 20 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

The Home range and territoriality is entirely about mating but is separate from the Mating section, and it's entirely redundant with the Lekking section User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 19:41, 15 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed.--Mmhua (talk) 06:40, 20 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

"species broadened into humid, dry, high altitude, and low altitude niches, leading to speciation" you shouldn't start and end the sentence with "species" User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 19:41, 15 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed.--Mmhua (talk) 06:40, 20 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Use {{convert}} to give units of measurement in metric and imperial units User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 19:41, 15 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed.--Mmhua (talk) 06:40, 20 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

The Hybridization doesn't actually talk about hybridization at all, and should be paired with the information in Evolution and taxonomy. Also, is the species paraphyletic? User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 19:41, 15 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed. This species is not paraphyletic.--Mmhua (talk) 06:40, 20 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

You say "may have arisen due to allopatric speciation from ancestral south and west populations" which means the southern population is a different species than the western population User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 03:07, 25 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed.--Mmhua (talk) 00:12, 4 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]

"Polygenic inheritance with additive effects from several key autosomal loci" what does any of this mean? Simplify it for a layman User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 19:41, 15 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed.--Mmhua (talk) 18:48, 24 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Related species should be merged with Evolution and taxonomy User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 19:41, 15 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed.--Mmhua (talk) 06:40, 20 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Is Social behavior also entirely about mating? User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 19:41, 15 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed.--Mmhua (talk) 06:40, 20 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

What does the fly eat? User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 03:45, 21 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed.--Mmhua (talk) 18:48, 24 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

"...the fly often experiences reproductive isolation. Potentially due to these barriers, D. silvestris is able to breed with D. heteroneura to create hybrid flies" Doesn't reproductive isolation prevent different creatures from being able to breed with each other? User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 03:07, 25 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed.--Mmhua (talk) 23:59, 3 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]

"as indicated by a recent evolutionary enhancement" how recent is "recent"? User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 03:07, 25 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed.--Mmhua (talk) 23:59, 3 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]

What are antennal grooves? User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 03:07, 25 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed.--Mmhua (talk) 23:59, 3 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Don't use complex words when you can use easy words, so "along the dorsal side of their tibias" could also be "along the upper sides of their forelegs" User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 03:07, 25 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed.--Mmhua (talk) 23:59, 3 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]

"The population of Hualalai flies is the most ancestral, despite Kohala being the oldest volcano on the island" Why is it "despite"? Would we expect the most ancient flies to inhabit the youngest volcano? User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 03:07, 25 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed. Despite Kohala being the oldest, the flies are found on the younger volcano of Hualalai. I changed the wording to make it more clear.--Mmhua (talk) 23:59, 3 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]

"D. silvestris is able to breed with D. heteroneura to create hybrid flies in the laboratory" they're in the same genus so you don't need to say they can hybridize User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 02:33, 4 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
"As a rare species of fruit fly endemic to Hawaii (“the Big Island”), the fly often experiences reproductive isolation." I don't think this is the right wording. Every unique species experiences reproductive isolation from other members of the genus User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 02:33, 4 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
"This species demonstrates sexual selection through female choice, as indicated by an evolutionary enhancement of extra tibia bristles occurring in certain D. silvestris populations in the last 700,000 years" so again, "foreleg" instead of "tibia" (it's an arthropod so I don't imagine "tibia" is even the correct word), there's no connection between the first part and the second part (so it has a lot of hair on its foreleg, so what?), is "enhancement" the correct word?, this is the lead so why are we getting this complicated with leg bristles?, what is "female choice" supposed to mean? Did you want to say "males compete for females"? User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 02:33, 4 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Get some measurements of the fly, like head to tail length, wing length, etc. User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 02:33, 4 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
"between the frons and the clypeus" even though you wikilinked them, still say what they are really briefly (maybe in parentheses or between commas or dashes or whatever) User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 02:33, 4 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
"can be found on the edge of the top side in some individuals" or you can say "on the sides" User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 02:33, 4 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
"There is some variation in the number of male tibial bristles" you don't need this. Of course every fly doesn't have the same number of hairs User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 02:33, 4 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
So do males have 2 or 3 rows of bristles? User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 02:33, 4 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
"vulnerable to heat stress due to higher temperatures" yes, heat stress is in fact caused by heat, but we don't need to say it User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 02:33, 4 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Exactly how hot is too hot? What range of temperatures do they like to inhabit? User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 02:33, 4 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
"This species is tolerant to colder temperatures" and "This is consistent with the flies' preference for cooler environments" in the next sentence are redundant User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 02:33, 4 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
"There are three phylogenetically early chromosomal inversions in D. silvestris that are associated with elevation changes" are you trying to say there are 3 distinct isolated populations of the fly? User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 02:33, 4 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
"that are associated with elevation changes, possibly reflecting an adaptive shift to altitude" yes, elevation change is a shift in altitude, but we don't need to say it User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 02:33, 4 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
"which arrived 26 million years ago due to Hawaii's extremely diverse ecosystem" it makes it sound like the ancestral fly arrived because of Hawaii's ecosystems instead of the ancestor diversifying because of the ecosystems User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 02:33, 4 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]