Talk:Drakengard 3/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 16:18, 2 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I'll leave some initial comments within 24 hours. Will mainly focus on copyediting issues. Thanks! ☠ Jaguar ☠ 16:18, 2 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

Is it reasonably well written?
A. Prose is "clear and concise", without copyvios, or spelling and grammar errors:

B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:
Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
A. Has an appropriate reference section:

B. Citation to reliable sources where necessary:

C. No original research:
Is it broad in its coverage?
A. Major aspects:

B. Focused:
Is it neutral?
Fair representation without bias:
Is it stable?
No edit wars, etc:
Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:

B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
Overall:
Pass or Fail:

Initial comments

Lead

"who partners with a dragon named Mikhail to kill her five sisters" - whose five sisters? Zero's sisters or the dragon's?
"while common critiques included the dragon gameplay, the graphics and multiple technical issues." - were these criticisms?
Other than that, the lead summarises the article well so this meets the GA criteria.

Gameplay

"Unlike previous titles in the series, the player does not have to pause the games to switch weapons, instead being able to do it on the fly" - on the fly? Please clarify

Story

Some parts of this section feels like it has thin musk of a game's back cover or some kind of first-party material. I'll note some points below.
"They were worshiped by the people" - who are the people?
"the strongest Intoner, One, wishes to unite the five once again and bring a lasting peace to the land." - you could try rewording this to make it sound better. How about something like stability?
The plot section seems rather extensive and large for an article this size

Development

"The downloadable prequel chapters were conceived by Yoko while he was having a meal" - there was no mention of downloadable content in the lead?
"and calling the entry Drakengard 4, with the story revolving around searching for the missing installment in the series" - don't understand, were they thinking about making Drakengrad 4 during development?

References

All the references have no dead links and most appear to be reliable, complying per VG:RS and the GA criteria
The citations are also in the correct places, so this also meets the GA criteria
Is Dengeki Online a reliable source?

On hold

This is a well written article, it is broad, comprehensive and spares no detail. The majority of the prose is in good standing and I could find almost no problems with the references either. I'll put this on hold for the standard seven days until those relatively minor issues are addressed. Thanks, ☠ Jaguar ☠ 18:23, 4 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I've done my best. The plot summery was a pain, and to be honest, most of the more florid stuff wasn't my doing. I've removed the DLC bit, as it wouldn't really fit in anywhere. As to Dengeki Online, it's just the online outlet for the official Dengeki Magazine, like the online site for Famitsu. It's a permitted foreign language reference site for video game articles. --ProtoDrake (talk) 20:36, 4 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Close - promoted

Thank you for your quick response. I understand what you mean and after the improvements made the article now definitely meets the GA criteria. It is still generally well written and the references seem reliable, thanks for pointing that out. All things check out. Looks like another VG GA! ☠ Jaguar ☠ 12:43, 5 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]