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Talk:Donn Cabral/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Resolute (talk · contribs) 18:00, 9 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:
General
Lead
Early life
College career
International/Professional career
  • You note he qualified for the Olympics, then that he turned pro, then that he signed with Nike, then that he participated in a race of some sort. I presume you mean the Olympics, but the pro stuff in the middle leaves this disjointed. I would put all of the Olympic info together, then all of the pro stuff.
Personal life
  • Section is very thin. If it can't be expanded, I would suggest moving these to sentences to early life. However, I am left with questions that could fill this out a little: What did he study at Princeton? Is he still studying at the University of Colorado? If so, perhaps mention here that he is studying business instead of noting his major in the college athletics section. If he is not at Coloardo, does he have a job, or is he a full-time professional in track?
    • [Outside comment] I agree that it's thin, but in a way it's too thick. The parents' names are irrelevant, esp. in a BLP, and they need to go. That he was "coached" in soccer means nothing: I coach my girls in soccer as well. It only means something if a. the coaching is meaningful (if your dad is Johan Cruijff) and b. that soccer goes somewhere--got a soccer scholarship but turned it down to do some other sport, or something like that. The names have to go--the rest can, as suggested, be moved elsewhere if it can be indicated to be meaningful in the first place. Drmies (talk) 18:18, 9 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Overall