Talk:Don't Smile at Me/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 20:09, 20 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Good Article review progress box

Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()

3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()

Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

Fulfilling your request; the review will start tomorrow, though. --K. Peake 20:09, 20 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox and lead

Cover art needs alt text
Remove flatlist from the infobox and only use bullet points on their own
Singles should have the release dates that they were released as singles; "Ocean Eyes" is an example of where this needs fixing
"released on August 11, 2017" → "released on August 11, 2017,"
"The EP was written" → "The majority of the material on the EP was written"
Mention him as Finneas instead for consistency with the article's body
"the latter solely handled the proudction." → "the latter of which solely handled production."
"Don't Smile at Me is an" → "It is an"
Target R&B to Contemporary R&B
Wikilink Jazz instead of the target
"was supported by the release of multiple singles." → "was supported by the release of seven singles, from 2016 to 2018." with the appropriate target
"were both Sleeper hit's, charting" → "were both sleeper hits, ending up charting"
Target Billboard to Billboard (magazine)
"at number 12." → "at number 12 on the chart."
"with Eilish embarking" → "by Eilish embarking"
"in 2017 and 2018." → "in 2017 and 2018, respectively."
"The EP also entered" → "It also entered"
"in many other countries." → "in numerous other countries, including Australia and Ireland."
"It received generally favorable reviews from critics," → "The EP received generally favorable reviews from music critics" with the target and this should be the opening sentence of the para instead since critical reception comes before commercial
The nomination sentence will come directly after the critical reception sentence in the new order; it will be followed by commercial reception info
Target "Hostage" to Hostage (song)
Target Best Cinematography to MTV Video Music Award for Best Cinematography
"was re-issued titled" → "was re-issued under the title of"
"that included a previously" → "with the re-issue including a previously"
"gold in the United States." → "gold in the United States by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA)." with the appropriate wikilink
"included two previously" → "was later released, which includes two previously"
Target Khalid to Khalid (singer)
"The former was commerically sucessful peaking" → "The former single was commercially successful, peaking"
"The latter was certified platinum in the United States and Canada." → ""Bitches Broken Hearts" was certified platinum in the US and Canada by the RIAA and Music Canada (MC), respectively." with the wikilink

Background

"Eilish told" → "In July 2017, Eilish told"
"plot. The only tie-together? "I'm" → "plot." She explained, stating: "The only time-together? 'I'm"
"me hate me.'"" → "me hate me.''"
"Don't Smile at Me was" → "The majority of the material for Don't Smile at Me was"
Introduce Finneas under his stage name instead
"which also produced it." → "produced the EP in its entirety."
"and Rob Kinelski handled the" → "and Rob Kinelski handled" with the target

Music and lyrics

Target R&B to Contemporary R&B
Wikilink Jazz instead of the target
"It opens with" → "The EP opens with"
No where is it mentioned in the sources that the song is pop; the title only calls her a "pop singer"
"It features a minimalist production" → "It features minimalist production," with the target
"to someone who kept" → "to people who she felt kept"
"pop and R&B track" → "pop and R&B song,"
"finds Eilish singing about" → "features Eilish singing about"
"and negative self-esteem." → "and low self-esteem." since this is more encyclopedic
"by boys who broke Eilish's heart." the source does not state or imply this, even with the lyrics to the chorus?
"production consisting of a" → "production, which consists of a"
Wikilink pop ballad instead per MOS:LINK2SECT
"writing a missive" → "sending a message"
""Watch" starts with the" → The track starts with the"
"and continues throughout" → "that continues throughout"
Do not capitalise folk
"and is the only song on the EP that includes Eilish" → "that includes Eilish" since the "only song" statement is not backed up
Target ukelele to Ukulele
"on his birthday through" → "on his birthday, through"
"is a midtempo" → "is a mid tempo" with the wikilink
"It has influences" → "The song has influences"
"The song's lyrics were" → "The lyrics of the song were"
"a psychopath. Who kills" → "of a psychopath who kills"
"is a pop, dream-pop," → "is a pop, dream pop" with the wikilink
"indie-pop and R&B" → "indie pop and R&B" with the wikilink
[21][22][2][23][24] should not all be at the end of the sentence and any that are should be in numerical order
Target percussion to Percussion instrument
Target synth to Synthesizer
"is about a love letter to Eilish's" → "is a love letter to Eilish's"
"The EP closes with" → "Don't Smile at Me closes with"
"about an intense love Eilish feels for a boy" → "about an intense love that Eilish feels for someone"
"having an overwhelming desire to" → "an overwhelming desire she has to"
"The December edition of Don't Smile at Me contains" → "The December re-issue of the EP contains"
"additional track. "&Burn"" → "additional track; "&Burn""
"Vince Staples is a" → "Vince Staples, which is a"
"It features minimalist production of drums and a keyboard." → "The song features minimalist production, with "booming" drums." since a keyboard is not mentioned
"It also starts with" → "Similarly to "Watch", the song starts with"
"for its main beat." → "for the main beat."
"it was under the title" → "it went under the title"
"separate songs, with one being "Watch", and the other being "&Burn"." → "separate songs; "Watch" and "&Burn", respectively."
""Lovely" featuring Khalid is" → ""Lovely", featuring Khalid, is" with the targets
Remove wikilink on piano
"strings provided by" → "strings that were provided by" with the target
"Eilish and Khalid sing" → "In the track, Eilish and Khalid sing"
"inside of their own mind." → "inside of one's own mind."
[35][12] should be put in numerical order
""Bitches Broken Hearts" received additional production by Emmit Fenn," → "Emmit Fenn handled additional production of the track,"
"the first Billie Eilish song" → "the first song by Eilish"
"Eilish pretends that" → "with Eilish pretending that" but are you sure that's her perspective or elsewise?

Kyle Peake the source says it's from her perspective. The Ultimate Boss (talk) 01:26, 1 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Promotion

Img needs alt text and reword the main text to be something more relevant to this section, as they are seen performing together in the img
Tour info should come at the very end of this section instead
"and Where's My Mind Tour." → "and Where's My Mind Tour during 2017 and 2018, respectively."
Are you sure more info can't be given, like a brief overview of the tours; see The Life of Pablo for example?
The sub-section should be under the main section fully and begin it
Remove wikilinks on the singles since they have already been done in the music and lyrics section after some brief copyediting by me
"November 18, 2015 on" → "November 18, 2015 via"
"was released as the EP's lead single." → "was released as the lead single from Don't Smile at Me."
"Although it didn't initially chart," → "Although the song did not chart initially,"
Wikilink sleeper hit
"debut studio album When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?. The song reached" → "debut studio album When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?, reaching"
"The song received a 4x platinum certification in Australia" → "The song was certified quadruple platinum in Australia by the Australia Recording Industry Association (ARIA)" with the wikilink
"received triple certifications" → "received triple platinum certifications"
At the end of the sentence, identify the Recording Industry Association of America, MC Canada and IFPI Denmark as being the respective certifiers like you did with the Australian one
"two music videos. The first" → "two music videos; the first" with the wikilink
"The second was a dance performance music video which was" → "The second is a dance performance music video that was"
"was released On" → "was released on"
"It included remixes" → "It includes remixes"
"Goldhouse and" → "Goldhouse, and"
"as the second single from the EP." → "as the second single from Don't Smile at Me." with the target
"It was also" → "The song was also"
Write out how many weeks it was on the chart since this info is mentioned in the lead so needs to be sourced in the body
"in the United States, Australia" → "in the US, Australia,"
"Mexico." → "Mexico by the RIAA, ARIA and Asociación Mexicana de Productores de Fonogramas y Videogramas (AMPROFON), respectively." with the wikilink and this is the same layout I was talking about for the US, Canada and Denmark certifications apart from this one has RIAA and ARIA abbreviated since they have already been mentioned by the full company names
"It was promoted with a music video, which was released on March 22, 2017 and was" → "An accompanying music video was released on March 22, 2017, which was"
"It was remixed" → ""Bellyache" was remixed"
"and released on" → "with the remix being released on"
"released as the third single" → "released as the third single from Don't Smile at Me"
"It was certified platinum in the United States, Canada and Australia." → "The track was certified platinum in the US, Canada, and Australia by the RIAA, MC, and the ARIA, respectively."
"released as the fourth single" → "released as the EP's fourth single"
"on January 12, 2018 by" → "on January 12, 2018, by"
"It peaked at number 12" → "The song peaked at number 12"
"while also being certified platinum." → "while ultimately being certified platinum in the US by the RIAA."
"released as the fifth single" → "released as the fifth single from Don't Smile at Me"
"It was certified double platinum in the United States." → "The track was certified double platinum in the US by the RIAA."
"The album's sixth single," → "The EP's sixth single,"
"and was released" → "which was released"
"certified platinum in the United States." → "certified platinum in the US by the RIAA."
""&Burn" featuring American rapper Vince Staples was released" → ""&Burn", featuring American rapper Vince Staples, was released as a single"
"was later released" → "was later included"
"It was certified gold in the United States." → "The song was certified gold in the US by the RIAA."
"on a exclusive" → "on an exclusive"
"written by" → "originally performed and written by"
"It was ultimately certified gold in the United States." → ""Party Favor" was certified gold in the US by the RIAA."
""Lovely" featuring Khalid was" → ""Lovely", featuring Khalid, was"
"It received a music video that" → ""Lovely" received a music video, which"
"5x platinum in Australia, 4x platinum in Canada," → "octuple platinum in Australia by the ARIA, quadruple platinum in Canada by MC," etc, naming the correct organisations that certified the track
"It was also included" → "It was ultimately included"
Identify the addition as "Expanded Edition" since you can abbreviate by now
"It was certified platinum in the United States and Canada. " → "The song was certified platinum in the US and Canada by the RIAA, and MC, respectively." removing excess spacing
"Despite not being released as a single, a music video for the" → "Despite it not being released as a single, a music video for the track"
"and produced by Henry Scholfield." → "that Henry Scholfield produced."
"It was certified platinum in the United States and Canada. " → "The song was certified platinum in the US and Canada by the RIAA, and MC, respectively."

Critical reception

Retitle to Reception and merge the following section with this one
"received critical acclaim from music critics." → "was met with generally favorable reviews from music critics" with the target
Add the Tom Hull review to prose
"of PluggedIn said about the album," → "of Plugged In said of the EP," with the target
"said "Sixteen-year-old" → "wrote, "Sixteen-year-old"
"accomplished than on her debut album When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go? (2019)." → "accomplished than that of When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?." since you have already introduced the album in this article

Commercial performance

This para can be in the Reception section as the second one
Remove wikilink on sleeper hit
"It then broke into" → "The EP later broke into"
"on the list," → "on the chart,"
"with 7,000 units." → "with 7,000 album-equivalent units". with the wikilink
"It reached the top 40" → "Don't Smile at Me reached the top 40 of the Billboard 200"
"with 12,000 units including" → "with 12,000 units, including"
Remove target on SEA and correctly identify as streaming equivalent album units
"its 56th charting week, in the week ending" → "its 56th charting week for the issue dated"
"the EP has earned" → "the EP has sold"
"in the United States. It has also" → "in the US and has also"
Mention some of the other countries the album charted on the charts of in this para, specifically high positions like Lithuania

Track listing

All tracks are produced by F. O'Connell, except where noted. → All tracks are produced solely by F. O'Connell, except where noted.
Add citation(s) after the introduction mentioned above to verify the writing and production
Target "Hostage" to Hostage (song)
December reissue → December reissue bonus track
Expanded edition → Expanded edition bonus tracks
Wikilink all lowercase per MOS:LINK2SECT
is an alternate remixed version → is an alternate version

Personnel

Fix the dash next to Billie Eilish for consistency
Vocals should not be capitalised
Why is Finneas not mentioned as a songwriter?
Target Rob Kinelski to Cocaine 80s

Charts

See MOS:TABLECAPTION for all of these

Weekly charts

Icelandic Albums (Tonlist) → Icelandic Albums (Plötutíðindi)
Iceland needs an archive added to back up the chart position

Year-end charts

Estonian Albums (IFPI) → Estonia (Eesti Tipp-100), with the target
US Alternative Albums → US Top Alternative Album (Billboard)
US Alternative Albums (Billboard) → US Top Alternative Album (Billboard)

Certifications

See MOS:TABLECAPTION
The NZ certification is Platinum, not 2x Platinum

References

Make sure all of these are archived by using the tool and for ones like the Iceland citation, make sure to add the correct archive yourself
Copyvio score looks poor at 43.2%; decrease the level of quoting from the Atwood Magazine review to fix this
Cite SSENSE as publisher for ref 2
Fix MOS:QWQ issues with ref 4
Ref 6 is a duplicate of ref 1; use the ref name for ref 1 in place of where ref 6 is invoked
Are you sure if ref 13 is a reliable source?

Kyle Peake, Other editors have told me it is reliable. The Ultimate Boss (talk) 05:41, 1 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Remove target on Billboard for refs 15, 79, 80, 82, 124, 137 and 138
Retitle ref 21 to Billie Eilish - 'Ocean Eyes' Video (Stereogum Premiere)
Remove Idolator from the title of ref 22
Cite NPR as publisher instead for ref 24
Remove wikilink on The Fader for ref 28
The Times → Time on ref 33 and target to Time (magazine)
Remove Earmilk from the title of ref 34 and remove the wikilink
Remove wikilink on BroadwayWorld for ref 38
Ref 40 is a duplicate of ref 20
Ref 46 is a duplicate of ref 21
Add CR in brackets for ref 52
Remove or replace refs 53, 57, 69, 84 and 85 since Spotify is not supposed to be used as a source

Kyle Peake, removed it on all of them except on the December edition. I cannot find a source for that one. The Ultimate Boss (talk) 05:41, 1 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

The Ultimate Boss remove that info if you can not find a different source --K. Peake 08:00, 1 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Remove target on Vice for refs 54 and 77
Target Tidal to Tidal (service) on ref 59 and remove it from the title
Remove target on Complex for ref 61
Apple Music → iTunes Store (US) on ref 62
Change ref 68 title to saying on Apple Music and iTunes → iTunes Store (US)
Remove wikilink on Universal Music Group for ref 72
PluggedIn Online → Plugged In on ref 78, with target to Focus on the Family
Ref 81 is a duplicate of ref 80
Fill in the citation for ref 83 with Billboard
Cite CDJapan as publisher instead for ref 86
W Magazine → W on ref 87
Fix MOS:QWQ issues with ref 88 and The FADER → The Fader
Fix MOS:CAPS issues with ref 101 and target Plötutíðindi to Music of Iceland
Fix MOS:CAPS issues with refs 105 and 119
Cite austriancharts.at as publisher instead for ref 126
Ditto for dutchcharts.nl on ref 131

Kyle Peake, what do you mean by this? The Ultimate Boss (talk) 05:41, 1 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

The Ultimate Boss I mean to cite it as publisher --K. Peake 08:00, 1 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Remove wikilink on Australian Recording Industry Association for ref 140

Kyle Peake, I cannot do that, it will not let me. The Ultimate Boss (talk) 05:41, 1 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Remove Hung Medien from the publisher of ref 146

External links

Good

Final comments and verdict

It has been great reviewing this article so far, but it turns out I will unfortunately have to ✗ Fail it due to the edit warring that was going on earlier this month. Now, I am aware that this is not the nominator's fault at all, but the article meets the criteria for immediate failure. --K. Peake 08:28, 22 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]
This article is being re-opened by me for review now, as the previous failure due to a lack of stability was a mistake on my part since that happened before this article was even nominated, never mind reviewed. --K. Peake 11:43, 23 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

On hold after completing the article review following on from me reopening it. --K. Peake 14:30, 24 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Kyle Peake, apologies for taking so long to respond. I have been so busy this week with school... The Ultimate Boss (talk) 06:03, 1 October 2020 (UTC) Kyle Peake, I have changed the link to the December edition. The Ultimate Boss (talk) 21:26, 11 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

The Ultimate Boss Late on fixing all of the issues, but here is a well-deserved ✓ Pass! --K. Peake 07:54, 12 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]