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GA Review

[edit]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


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Reviewer: Вик Ретлхед (talk · contribs) 08:06, 31 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I'll review this article right away since it is more important than the other candidates.--Вик Ретлхед (talk) 08:06, 31 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Review
  • First thing that I noticed about the article is that it's overlinked. Here are some suggestions what to unlink:
  1. Intro: studio album, American, singles
  2. Background: independent record label, Pacific Northwest, mikes
  3. Merge Seattle (the city) and Washington (the state) to Seattle, Washington, like I did in the intro.
  4. Release: album cover, documentary film, singles, compact disc
  5. If they exist, provide links for: Songs for Cassavetes (the film by Justin Mitchell) and the songs mentioned in the "Music" and "Release" sections.
  • Critical reception
  1. I noticed that you included a review from The Katz brothers in the "Reception" section. Since Wikipedia only allows reviews by staff members from Sputnikmusic, and The Katz brothers appear to be regular users, I suggest to remove their review. Instead, you can add more professional reviews by Entertainment Weekly or About.com.
  2. Another thing to do is to remove the CMJ rating from the box-score because it doesn't give the album a grade or star-rating.
  • On a quick look at the prose, it seems solidly written. However, there are certain things that need to be fixed:
  1. Intro: the band's longest lasting and final drummer→the band's longest serving and last drummer; who mostly praised the album's energy→exclude mostly; is frequently included on professional lists of greatest albums→was included on several publications' best album lists
  2. Background: roughly→approximately or nearly; capturing→recording;

I'll put the review on hold for now, and will come back to check how's the progress going.--Вик Ретлхед (talk) 10:42, 31 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for the review, really appreciated. I've addressed most of the issues you've pointed out; are you sure that About.com is a reliable source? It is not included in Wikipedia:WikiProject Albums's list of recommended sources. Again, thank you for your time, comments, and interest. --Niwi3 (talk) 11:32, 31 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
100% sure. I don't know why it isn't there, but I'll address that issue as soon as we finish this.--Вик Ретлхед (talk) 12:16, 31 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Second look
  • I did some minor adjustments to the intro and I believe it is fine in its current state.
Looks good. --Niwi3 (talk) 14:34, 31 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Critical reception: This section will require some work.
  1. Shorten the CMJ News quote. "and with Sleater-Kinney's strong shoulders, will ultimately carry it into the next century" is extra.
Done. --Niwi3 (talk) 14:34, 31 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  1. Exclude "alongside those by Pavement, Yo La Tengo, and Arto Lindsay" because they are not connected with the theme.
These are all indie rock albums. Besides, I think it's interesting to mention them because they were strong competitors in The Village Voice's Pazz & Jop critics' poll for 1997. --Niwi3 (talk) 14:34, 31 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  1. Add the About.com review with short summary.
I'd love more opinions about this from other editors. Before adding an item to the project's list of recommended sources, it is recommended to discuss it first on the talk page. --Niwi3 (talk) 14:34, 31 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
I've been using that site in Megadeth articles, for example United Abominations and Endgame, which are both GA articles. Anyway, if you find another reliable source you may add it.--Вик Ретлхед (talk) 14:50, 31 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Mmmm interesting. I'm going to ask the project, just in case. Then I will include it. --Niwi3 (talk) 15:00, 31 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Music and lyrics
  1. That number 3 reference shouldn't be repeating so often because the three sentences are incorporated from the same source.
Done. --Niwi3 (talk) 14:34, 31 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  1. I think that some of the bands listed as influential should be omitted. The blues musicians particularly.
Why? I think it's very interesting to know their blues rock influences. --Niwi3 (talk) 14:34, 31 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  1. "My parents didn't know Corin and I were going out. They didn't know I had ever dated a woman before. It was horrible. I was pissed at Spin, really mad. Luckily my parents are great people, but God forbid I would have some family that would disown me over something like that. And I would have totally held Spin responsible for that." - This doesn't seems very related to the Music & Lyrics of the album. If you don't want to remove that, I propose to place it in special box, like that one in Agharta.
It is related to the lyrics and explains how personal the song is to Tucker and Brownstein. Also, placing it in a special box would take it out of context a bit, I think. --Niwi3 (talk) 14:34, 31 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
I'll soon be back with an opinion about the first section. Feel free to discuss if you don't agree with some of the changes.--Вик Ретлхед (talk) 13:32, 31 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Forgot about this
  • Background and recording
  1. cemented→confirmed
Done --Niwi3 (talk) 14:47, 31 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  1. put quote marks if "Call the Doctor only took four days to record while Dig Me Out was recorded over the period of eight days" are words said by Goodmanson.--Вик Ретлхед (talk) 14:41, 31 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
The actual quote is: "The record before this one [took] four days [to record]. And this one was a whole eight days." --Niwi3 (talk) 14:47, 31 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Final words
  • Influences might be included, sure, but mentioning seven musicians is a bit too much. I think just "as well as numerous blues rock musicians" will do fine. However, if you feel that its necessary to name all the musicians, then let it be.
I'm just mentioning 3 rock and roll bands and 4 blues rock musicians. In my opinion, it's not excessive and gives the reader an idea of what kind of blues rock musicians the band looked for. --Niwi3 (talk) 15:47, 31 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • About the Christagau quote, the cite "alongside those by Pavement, Yo La Tengo, and Arto Lindsay" has nothing to do with this album. Per the GA criteria: "it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail". Otherwise it can be seen as promotion for those three bands.--Вик Ретлхед (talk) 15:20, 31 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Alright, you have a point. I removed it. --Niwi3 (talk) 15:47, 31 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Well then, all the issues have been addressed. As soon as the community decides whether About.com is reliable or not, I'll close the review. Great job and congratulations for your effort.--Вик Ретлхед (talk) 15:54, 31 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Here's the discussion. Thank you for your review and copy-edits, really appreciated. --Niwi3 (talk) 16:13, 31 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Great, the cite from About.com was a perfect hit. The only thing left to do is to correct the long sentence from the "Recording" section. Trust me, for a reader who doesn't know much about Sleater-Kinney its pretty confusing.--Вик Ретлхед (talk) 17:56, 31 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Done. --Niwi3 (talk) 18:11, 31 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Pass--Вик Ретлхед (talk) 18:13, 31 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.