Talk:Diamond inclusions

zfgdsgg Sklemp (talk) 17:44, 15 February 2022 (UTC)[reply]

First peer review

(copied from the original talk page - https://wiki.riteme.site/wiki/User_talk:Mhan818) This is a great page! I don't really know what's going on but if I had the time and wasn't lazy I'd be clicking the links you provided to other wikipedia pages which I think is good for the level that these things have to be written in. I think if you want to make this article a little more readable to people not in the field, you can replace or expand upon some words like "assemblages", "free fluid environment", maybe add a link to a page for halides, and a link to a page for cloudy diamonds. If not available, maybe briefly explain them? I'm not sure at what level these should be written at since I got a "be careful not to write at a high level" warning on my quiz thing for this, so I could be totally wrong, but it does read a little bit higher level and there are geology-specific words that I'm not familiar with.

Two little things too: "Sub-lithospheric mineral inclusions such as majorite, carbon- and magnesium-rich perovskite can be also classified into ultramafic type (peridotitic) and basaltic type (eclogitic) inclusions. However, the classification is harder than the lithospheric inclusions due to their rarity of samples, small grain size, and difficulties in recognizing the original assemblages under deep-mantle conditions." --> Sub-lithospheric mineral inclusions such as majorite and carbon- and magnesium-rich perovskite can be also classified into ultramafic type (peridotitic) and basaltic type (eclogitic) inclusions. However, these additional classifications are harder than the lithospheric inclusions due to their rarity of samples, small grain size, and difficulties in recognizing the original assemblages under deep-mantle conditions.

"The timing of the mineral crystallization can categorize the mineral inclusions into three types which are protogenetic, syngenetic, and epigenetic inclusions" --> The timing of the mineral crystallization can categorize the mineral inclusions into three types: protogenetic, syngenetic, and epigenetic inclusions

Other than that I think this is a super cool article! You're a fantastic writer and I learned a lot. Good luck! — Preceding unsigned comment added by Mvida (talk • contribs) 03:33, 22 February 2022 (UTC)

Thanks for the great review! I agree with the parts that many of the terms from my page make it hard to read. I added more links and descriptions on the mentioned terms to make them more understandable. I appreciate the grammatical corrections as well. Mhan818 (talk) 02:50, 28 February 2022 (UTC).[reply]

Second peer review

What a good intro for diamond inclusions, and contents. The info on davemaolite was interesting as well. Here are some of my detailed feedbacks based on the rubric.

1) Were the basic sections adequate? If not, what is missing? Yes!

2) Did the writer use subheadings well to clarify the sections of the text? Yes!

3) Was the material ordered in a way that was logical, clear, easy to follow? Yes. It was very logical
4) Did the writer adequately summarize and discuss the topic? Explain.

This paper explains the summary of diamonds inclusions, specifically focusing on inclusion types (e.g., mineral inclusions, fluid inclusions, and multiphase inclusions), plus research techniques.
(It is not required but if possible ..

1. I think it will be good to briefly mention the parental rocks of the host diamond for E-type and P-type.
2. You listed many inclusions and the basis for content ratio. It might be good to make a table along with the document so readers can keep track of the different inclusions and types.
3. It may be good to add some examples of protogenetic, syngenetic, and epigenetic inclusions.
4. It seems like the multiphase inclusions part has fewer contents than mineral inclusions and fluid inclusions. Is this because we do not know much about multiphase inclusions?)

5) Did the writer comprehensively cover appropriate materials available from the standard sources? If no, what's missing? Yes.

6) Did the writer cite sources adequately and appropriately? Note any incorrect formatting. Yes.

7) Were all the citations in the text listed in the References section? Note any discrepancies. Yes.

8) Were there any grammatical or spelling problems?

As my mother tongue is not English, I don't think I can find any grammatical errors or help with the sentence structures well, but some suggestions are:

1) “For instances, in garnet inclusions…” -> For instance 2) Usage of two "creation/create"s for minerals/diamonds for a sentence or continued sentence.-> maybe mix with the word "formation" or other synonyms. 3) “The after-formed minerals can be included within the diamond along with the fractures or the pre-existing protogenetic or syngenetic inclusions could have been altered into new material.” -> Two “or”s without comma make it difficult to read.

9) Was the writer's writing style clear? Were the paragraphs and sentences cohesive? Yes! Maybe add more content on the “multiphase inclusions”, if possible. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Jiinjung (talk • contribs) 04:38, 7 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the great review! I addressed your feedback as follows and modified my article.

Parental rocks examples —> Eclogite and peridotite are the parental rocks of the host diamonds. We can classify the mineral inclusions P-type and E-type based on where the host diamonds came from - either eclogite (E-type) or peridotite (P-type). I found that part in my page a bit confusing, so I modified it.
Table of inclusion types and basis —> Added summary tables.
Examples of protoegenetic / syngenetic / epigenetic inclusions —> These are just the different timing of inclusions, so any mineral inclusions can be the examples! For example, the garnet inclusion can be either protogenetic, syngenetic, or epigenetic depending on its formation timing - whether the garnet was formed before, during, or after the diamond crystallization.
Multiphase inclusion —> Yes, I haven't found much literature on it. I added a few more lines, though.
Grammars —> I corrected mentioned sentences. -Mhan818 (talk) 10:52, 14 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]