Talk:Denial (Sugababes song)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: J Milburn (talk · contribs) 20:49, 29 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Happy to offer some thoughts. Review to follow soon. J Milburn (talk) 20:49, 29 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Is it "Sugababes" or "the Sugababes"? (Or perhaps "The Sugababes"?)
- They are the Sugababes (without a capital T) Till 04:02, 1 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  - Ok, but could this be consistent? The opening line, for instance, says ""Denial" is a song by English girl group Sugababes from..." J Milburn (talk) 15:38, 2 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
    - Done Till 01:18, 3 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"The Sugababes and its producers" The band's producers or the song's producers?
- The song's producerrs Till 04:02, 1 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"The group's harmonies are backed by warm synthesizers and incorporated into 1980s soft rock." It's not really clear to me what this means.
- Their vocals are supported by synthesizers and soft rock music Till 04:02, 1 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  - Could it be rephrased? J Milburn (talk) 15:38, 2 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
    - Done Till 01:18, 3 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"lush"?
- This is what the source says :/ I guess no harm is done by removing it. Till 04:02, 1 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
You've got some awkward tense switches in the "release" section. I'd recommend keeping it all in past tense.
- OK. Till 04:02, 1 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
I don't understand what the captions of the images of the band in concert have to do with the pictures
- You are right *removes* Till 04:02, 1 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"to conceive treatments of the stills." What does this mean?
- Does replacing 'conceive' with develop make it more comprehensible. Till 04:02, 1 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  - Well, it's still not clear what stills you're talking about. Also, "conceive" and "develop" mean different things- which is it? J Milburn (talk) 15:38, 2 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
    - Well, the source in fact says 'devise', so I have used this now. I still don't know how to address your underlying concern, sorry Till 01:18, 3 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
      - What are stills, and who is treating them to what? J Milburn (talk) 10:18, 3 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
        ...stills are pictures taken during the video's filming. See here for more information. An individual by the name of Aman King is collaborating with the director to treat the stills in a particular manner (of which the source does not explicitly say) Till 13:01, 3 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
        Yeah, that's what I guessed it meant. It's still not particularly clear to me. If you take it back to FAC, I suspect others will pick up on this line, but I may be wrong. J Milburn (talk) 13:29, 3 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"personas" Isn't the plural "personae"?
- They are both correct. Till 04:02, 1 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"The video draws influences of fashion editorial" Odd phrasing- how about "The video takes influences from styles of fashion editorial"? You seem to be using the phrase fashion editorial in a way with which I'm not familiar
- Done Till 04:02, 1 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"The group managed to adopt a more sophisticated and mature style with the assistance from various stylists." This is the view of a particular person, and needs to be credited as such.
- Done Till 04:02, 1 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Have you checked your charts/sources against WP:BADCHARTS?
- Yes and all these charts are fine (recommended charts) Till 04:02, 1 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"Change (album). Sugababes. Universal Island Records. 2007. p. 13. 1747641." You're citing the album booklet, rather than the album
- Yes because the album booklet has this information. Till 04:02, 1 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  - I've tweaked it myself. J Milburn (talk) 15:38, 2 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Sources all seem appropriate.

Really nice article. Your summary of the music video is fantastic; those summaries often let down articles on songs, I feel, but this one is excellent. Unless I'm missing something, I'm sure I'll be happy to promote once these small issues are dealt with. J Milburn (talk) 21:16, 29 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks :). Till 04:02, 1 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

As there's only the one outstanding issue, and it's hardly the biggest issue, I'm going to go ahead and promote. A really solid article- certainly one of the better pop song articles I've reviewed at GAC. J Milburn (talk) 13:29, 3 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for your kind words. Till 13:49, 3 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]