Talk:Demographics of New Zealand/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: 12george1 (talk) 20:03, 24 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Try writing as many sentences as possible without parenthesis "( )". There are several occurrences of when a percentage is stated and is marked in parenthesis, but could easily be written without the parenthesis. Here is an example, "Most people are on wages or salaries (59.9 percent), with the other sources of income being interest and investments (24.1 percent) and self-employment (16.6 percent).". That sentence can be re-written as "Almost 60 percent of people are on wages or salaries, while 24.1 percent gain income from interest and investments, and the remaining 16.6 percent are self-employment."
I will work on this, but I am not sure how thorough you wish me to be. As this article uses a lot of stats the parenthesis serve a purpose in helping keep the flow of some paragraphs without bogging them down in numbers. I have probably overdone it though and I agree that the sentence mentioned and others like it should be re-written. I will work my way through them tomorrow (too late now) and then let you know so you can decide if more need to be re-written. AIRcorn (talk) 13:31, 25 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Spell-out numbers with the "th", "st", "rd", "nd" suffix (e.g. "7th" to "seventh").

Hopefully got them all. I left 19th Century however. It looks better written that way and is even used in the article 19th Century AIRcorn (talk) 13:31, 25 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

"Applicants with a job offer from an accredited New Zealand employer, cultural or sporting talent, looking for work where there has been a long-term skill shortage or to establish a business can apply for work to residency." - Unsoucred

Done. It was mentioned in the previous reference, but I also found another that made it clearer AIRcorn (talk) 13:31, 25 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

On the second paragraph of the Ethnicity section, I think the word "dieing" is misspelled. However, I cannot identify whether or not that is British English, or a misspelling or a typo.

"There are 13 school years and attending public schools is free." - Also unsourced

Previous ref talked about the years, added a ref about the fees. AIRcorn (talk) 13:31, 25 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

There is a template error with reference #16, because the a template is exposed.

I attempted to see what the error was on reference #16. However, I also noticed an error on reference #17; the cite web template is formated correctly. Currently, the reference looks like this: <ref>http://www.stats.govt.nz/Census/2006CensusHomePage/QuickStats/AboutAPlace/SnapShot.aspx?id=3521000|title=QuickStats About Great Barrier Island|accessdate=18 May 2010 |publisher=Statistics New Zealand</ref>, when it show be this: <ref>{{cite web|url=http://www.stats.govt.nz/Census/2006CensusHomePage/QuickStats/AboutAPlace/SnapShot.aspx?id=3521000|title=QuickStats About Great Barrier Island|accessdate=18 May 2010 |publisher=Statistics New Zealand</ref>

I don't think accessdates are necessary on news sources AIRcorn (talk) 13:31, 25 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Reference #69 is a "deadlink"
Here is the cached version [1]. I am not sure how to incorporate this into the reference, but it should at least allow you to check it against the sentence. I am hoping the site restores itself soon. AIRcorn (talk) 13:31, 25 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Reference #70 is missing the accessdate
Fixed AIRcorn (talk) 13:31, 25 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Reference #80 is a "deadlink"

It works for me. Note that it links to a PDF that downloads when you click on it. I have wondered about these, should there be a warning on these types of refs or should they not be linked (instead linking to the website where they can be downloaded from). AIRcorn (talk) 13:31, 25 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

- Scratch that first issue, I am going to be passing this article. Congratulations,--12george1 (talk) 14:20, 25 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]