Talk:Demographics of Nauru/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Mike Christie (talk · contribs) 16:20, 3 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

The article needs a thorough copyedit; it reads as if it was written primarily by a non-English speaker. The prose is not currently GA quality.

Sources look OK at a first glance. It would be nice to get a couple of extra images but it's not necessary since we do have one image. I have not checked for close paraphrasing yet. I have read through the article and have a couple of minor concerns about the sense of some paragraphs, but I don't want to do a further review until the copyedit is done, since that may resolve some of my concerns. I'll place the article on hold until the copyedit is done. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 19:13, 3 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Hi, thanks for the start of the review. I will begin to copyedit the page today.—Michael Jester (talk · contribs) 19:49, 3 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Is it possible to give some examples of what would need to be copyedited? I'm only seeing very minor things here and there.—Michael Jester (talk · contribs) 17:55, 4 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Sure -- here are some comments about the lead, for example.

Second paragraph: "marked by several migrations", but two of the next three events (discovery and annexation) are not migrations.
"In the 1960s, the country gained independence, where the percentage of Nauruans started to increase": where is not the right conjunction; I think the intended meaning is "and from then on".
"The most recent demographic switch was in the 2000s, when the government repatriated several non-Nauruan population from the country": I'm not sure what is meant by "switch" -- a switch is an event that alters or reverses something, so perhaps this refers to a switch in the direction of a particular demographic metric? The last half of the sentence isn't quite right either; you can't say "several population".
"An estimated 10.7% of the gross domestic product (GDP) is spend on education": presumably should be "spent".
"Nauru has the highest obesity ranking in the world, 97 per cent of men and 93 per cent of women are obese": run on sentence.

-- I'm sure you can fix these, but please find someone who can identify and fix this sort of problem throughout the article - these are just from the lead. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 18:07, 4 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Michael, are you still planning to work on this? I don't mind holding it open a bit longer if you are trying to get a copyeditor. Or if you're not convinced it's needed we can get a second opinion. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 02:08, 13 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

It's been three weeks since I posted the last comments above. I'm going to fail the GA nomination, but if you decide to copyedit let me know and I'll be glad to take a look. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 11:34, 24 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]