Talk:Davy Knowles/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Jezhotwells (talk) 13:42, 24 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I shall be reviewing this article against the Good Article criteria, following its nomination for Good Article status.

Checking against GA criteria

GA review (see here for criteria)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS):
Early life: Knowles was born in 1986 in Port St. Mary, Isle of Man, a small British-dependent island between Great Britain and Ireland. Suggest this would be better expressed as Knowles was born in 1986 in Port St Mary, on the Isle of Man, a small Crown Dependency between Great Britain and Ireland.

As Knowles grew older, he was influenced by other artists like Dire Straits that he found in his father's music collection such as Rory Gallagher, Eric Clapton, and Robert Johnson. Poor grammar, please restructure, suggest remove like Dire Straits.

As a child, Knowles briefly took guitar lessons, but did not prefer the traditional way of learning how to play. After he stopped taking lessons, he quickly took up the guitar and self-taught himself Please rewrite to improve grammar and remove apparent contradictions.

Musical career: In 2005, at age 18, Knowles formed Back Door Slam along with drummer Ross Doyle and bassist Jamie Armstrong, the band originally played only local shows around their hometown area of Port St. Mary Very poor grammar, please rewrite.

Shortly after, Armstrong quit the band to attend college in England, so Knowles brought in bassist and high school friend Adam Jones to replace him. Shortly after when or what?

In 2006, the band began to write their first record, with Knowles writing every song on the album with the exception of their cover of Joe Reynolds's "Outside Woman Blues". The band began to write - yet Knowles wrote every number except the cover. Makes no sense.

Early in 2009, Knowles unexpectedly released a statement from the band, stating that they had split up, and each of the band's members were going to begin to peruse their own separate careers in music unexpectedly? - represents a POV

After the break up with Back Door slam, Knowles quickly began his solo career under the name "Davy Knowles and Back Door Slam". - needs explanation as the statement is apparently contradictory. I have read the source, but as it stands this makes no sense to the reader.

Knowles said in an interview that he had gotten much stronger and comfortable with singing and songwriting during the time that he began to write his first solo album. gotten? This is about a British subject so British English should be used.

After the release of his new album, Knowles went on tour, playing at several notable summer music festivals including the Mile High Festival, Rothbury Festival, Lollapalooza, and Summerfest, where he opened for Buddy Guy. Should better phrased, clumsy at the moment.

Lead: He is currently touring with Joe Satriani and Chickenfoot in the United States through December 2009 change this to remove currently as this statement is now out of date. I feel that the lead does not adequately summarise the article and in fact just repeats sentences from the rest of the article. Please read WP:LEAD.

Overall: Please thoroughly copy-edit, line by line, to improve prose style and reduce the choppy, sometimes clumsy phrasing.

Subject is British so use British english date style, i.e. 19 May 2009, rather than May 19, 2009.
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
On-line references are all live links

Ref #1 [1]] - what makes this a reliable source?

No need to specify that sources are in English. This is assumed for English Wikipedia.

In mid-2009, Knowles began primarily using Paul Reed Smith guitars and Budda Amps while onstage. needs a citation

Other references check out.
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
Query the adjective unexpectedly as per above.
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

OK, on hold for seven days for above issues to be fixed. Jezhotwells (talk) 14:24, 24 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Well, the nominator hasn't responded so I won't be listing this as a Good Article. If anyone gets round to addressing the issues noted above, it can be re-nominated at WP:GAN. Jezhotwells (talk) 15:45, 31 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]