Talk:David of Sassoun (statue)/GA1
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Nominator: Yerevantsi (talk · contribs) 15:53, 29 September 2024 (UTC)
Reviewer: Kimikel (talk · contribs) 01:04, 5 January 2025 (UTC)
Hello, I will be reviewing this article as part of the January GAN drive. Please expect comments from me within the next few days. Kimikel (talk) 01:04, 5 January 2025 (UTC)
- @Yerevantsi: A remarkable statue and a culture about which I'd like to know more. I have left my comments below. Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns regarding my suggestions. Thank you. Kimikel (talk) 18:01, 5 January 2025 (UTC)
Well-written
[edit]Lead
[edit]- rock-like basalt > technically speaking basalt is a rock, not rock-like
- during the one-thousandth > for the thousandth
- Done----Երևանցի talk 10:52, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
- but was removed two years later and Kochar was arrested. but two years later, the statue was destroyed and Kochar was arrested.
- Done----Երևանցի talk 10:52, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
- With decline in train arrivals, > Following a decline in arrivals to Yerevan railway station,
History
[edit]- the most prominent artist to move to Soviet Armenia from abroad (in 1936) > who in 1936 became the most prominent artist to move to Soviet Armenia from abroad
- Done----Երևանցի talk 10:52, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
- It was made of gypsum, and was reportedly finished in 18 days [5] (other sources state Kochar spent up to three months on the project). > Kochar made it of gypsum and reportedly finished it in 18 days, though other sources state he spent up to three months on the project.
- the Russian-language academic publication > which one?
- Added----Երևանցի talk 10:52, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
- it was positioned > It was positioned
- Done----Երևանցի talk 10:52, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
- , for "anti-Soviet agitation", > remove commas
- Done----Երևանցի talk 10:52, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
- Kochar recreated it, with significant changes from the initial version, which notably included > Kochar recreated it with significant changes from the initial version, which had included
- restored (current) > current restored
- Done----Երևանցի talk 10:52, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
- , but no senior official > ; no senior officials
- Done----Երևանցի talk 10:52, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
- including literary scholar and writer > including the literary scholar and writer
- Done----Երևանցի talk 10:52, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
- sculptor Grigor > the sculptor Grigor
- Done----Երևանցի talk 10:52, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
- Actor Zhan > The actor Zhan
- Done----Երևանցի talk 10:52, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
- It was erected > The statue was erected
- Done----Երևանցի talk 10:52, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
- (1962), in front > remove comma
- Done----Երևանցի talk 10:52, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
- memorial, erected > memorial erected
- Done----Երևանցի talk 10:52, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
- new trend in statues in Yerevan, where they no longer dominate over people and streets by their formidable height > new trend in statues in Yerevan in which they no longer towered over people and streets with their formidable height.
- , at the feet of the horse, > remove commas
- Done----Երևանցի talk 10:52, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
- lighting, was > lighting, and was
- Done----Երևանցի talk 10:52, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
Description and symbolism
[edit]- with an overly muscular > with a heavily muscled physique
- Done----Երևանցի talk 13:23, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
- "lightning sword"—Tur ketsaki > tur ketsaki ("lightning sword").
- Done----Երևանցի talk 13:23, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
- Kochar explained the large size of the horse's tail and the lack of reins and bit with its anthropomorphic and supernatural qualities as narrated in the epic. > Kochar explained that the large size of the horse's tail, its lack of reins and bit, and its anthropomorphic and supernatural qualities were as narrated in the epic.
- Done----Երևանցի talk 13:23, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
open to "choosing" > open to choosing (not enough of Simyan's work to require quotation marks)
- Done----Երևանցի talk 13:23, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
trail station building > railway station. (unless you're referring to a different building)
- Done----Երևանցի talk 13:23, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
pool, from which the epic hero rises, symbolize > pool from which David rises symbolize
- Done----Երևանցի talk 13:23, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
Reception
[edit]- For this section, I would recommend adding titles for as many people as possible. "The sculptor Lev Kerbel said XYZ" is more impactful than "Lev Kerbel said XYZ" because it adds context and a degree of authority.
- which earned him...widely considered Kochar's > which earned Kochar...widely considered his
- A Communist magazine > A communist magazine
- It refers to the party, not the ideology. I've rephrased it to "local Communist Party magazine".----Երևանցի talk 10:52, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
- acquired an iconic status,[59][60] and: remove comma
- Done----Երևանցի talk 10:52, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
- It has also been widely admired > The statue has also been widely admired
- Done----Երևանցի talk 10:52, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
- and often called as a > and has often been called a
- Architects Artsvin Grigoryan > The architects Artsvin Grigoryan
- Done----Երևանցի talk 10:52, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
- and compared favorably > and compared it favorably
- Done----Երևանցի talk 10:52, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
- it powerfully reflects> the statue powerfully reflects
- Done----Երևանցի talk 10:52, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
- As early as 1998 Armen Shekoyan > add comma
- Done----Երևանցի talk 10:52, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
- location—now just an ordinary residential area due to the decline in train arrivals—the > location, which had become an ordinary residential area due to the decline in train arrivals,
- architect Garri Rashidyan > the architect Garri Rashidyan
Notes
[edit]- Note C: Remove "However" and the comma.
- Done----Երևանցի talk 10:52, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
Verifiability
[edit]- The film studio Hayfilm (formerly Armenfilm) uses the statue as its logo., It appeared on a 1968 and 1990 Soviet stamps and a 1991 Soviet commemorative coin., Yerevan Metro tokens depict the statue., and The statue is featured in the 1987 Soviet Armenian film The Road to Sasuntsi Davit [hy]. are all unsourced.
- Added ref to Hayfilm logo.----Երևանցի talk 12:09, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
- Note A is unsourced.
- Added source.----Երևանցի talk 12:09, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
- Footnote 26 is the only one that puts the page number in the prose itself. For consistency, I would recommend removing it and putting it in the citation itself, since it's the only page you cite from that source.
- Done----Երևանցի talk 12:09, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
- Translations of all of the titles of foreign language sources would be very helpful.
- Done----Երևանցի talk 12:09, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
Spot check
[edit]Neutrality, broadness, and stability
[edit]- No issues.
Illustrated
[edit]- All images are properly tagged and beneficial to the article.