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I have been asked to discuss this change here. If my view the text has six commas too many. In my view they are all redundant and/or incorrectly placed. I'm not entirely sure what is correct usage for American English, but in British English these commas are certainly not needed. Which language variant is meant to be used here, as there is no explicit indication? I would appreciate a second opinion from a native English writer. Many thanks. Martinevans123 (talk) 09:15, 13 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]
@Martinevans123, I am a native English writer, and I generally follow CMOS, according to which, all the commas are appropriate. Can you please demonstrate which British style guide would obviate the commas in question? Revirvlkodlaku (talk) 14:07, 13 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Hi Revirvlkodlaku. Many thanks for clarifying. Not sure what you mean by CMOS, presumably not WP:CMOS. Should we not be looking first to MOS:PUNCT? But I am still keen to establish if this article is meant to follow Amer or Brit English. Thanks. Martinevans123 (talk) 15:24, 13 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]
@Martinevans123, I'm referring to the Chicago Manual of Style. The style of English the article is meant to follow hasn't been established, and perhaps it should, though I'm not overly concerned by that. I'm still curious to know which British style guide you are referring to when you say "in British English these commas are certainly not needed". Revirvlkodlaku (talk) 16:16, 13 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Very sorry, but I can't suggest the name of a single British style guide that might be used. I am speaking principally from personal experience and from a number of similar discussions I've had on Talk pages over the past 16 years. So I'd have to go and search for one. But I still think that establishing an agreed version of English for this article is key here, otherwise further discussion seems to me rather pointless. Your use of The Chicago Manual of Style suggests that you think that American English is appropriate. But where WP:MOS is concerned, things are not always clear cut. I think forms such as "In 1994–1995, he..." and "From 1988 to 1994, he..." are preferred in American English. I'm tempted to raise a question at WP:MOS or to ask for advice from an editor who takes an interest in such topics. User:SMcCandlish is a name that springs to mind, as he is very knowledgeable in this area. Thanks. Martinevans123 (talk) 16:33, 13 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]
In the meantime, I'd be very grateful if you could quote the guideline in CMOS that supports a construction like ".. The Academy of Arts, Architecture and Design in Prague, and in 1995 and 1996, he ..." Thanks. Martinevans123 (talk) 16:45, 13 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Commas really are not a MOS:ENGVAR matter. It's really a matter of communicative precision. None of the commas are wrong, necessarily, but some of them might not strictly be required. One could be eliminated by changing the reundant "New York, US." to just "New York."; all English-speakers know New York is in the US. The main problem with this passage is actually that it's a massive run-on, and is using commas for at least 4 different purposes, some of which are important and some of which are less so, but several of which are kind of "at cross purposes" to each other here. The material's also badly chronologically muddled. Start by fixing the run-on problem: Černý was born in Prague, Czechoslovakia. From 1988 to 1994, he studied at the Kurt Gebauer Studio at the Academy of Arts, Architecture and Design in Prague. In 1995 and 1996, he participated in the Whitney Museum Independent Study Program in New York. In 1994–1995, he took the PSI artist's residence in New York. In 1996, he received a Pollock-Krasner Foundation grant. In 1991, he took a residency of the Swiss government in Boswil. Note the addition of the apostrophe, since there's a possessive there. While that breaks up the run-on which was fusing a bunch of temporally and geographically and institutionally unrelated facts into a confusing "monster sentence", it still needs improvment further: in anti-WP:PROSELINE ways (the "In 19YY" repetitiveness) by varying the wording a bit more, in following a sensible chronology, and also in using parallel constructions for date ranges instead of conflicting styles: Černý was born in Prague, Czechoslovakia. From 1988 to 1994, he studied at the Kurt Gebauer Studio at the Academy of Arts, Architecture and Design in Prague. In 1991, he also took a residency of the Swiss government in Boswil. Later in New York City, he took the PSI artist's residence, 1994 to 1995, and participated in the Whitney Museum Independent Study Program, 1995 to 1996. He also received a 1996 Pollock-Krasner Foundation grant. (Additional minor tweaks: if we're going to link cities, then link them, and let's disambiguate between NYC and NY state while we're at it. But we don't link major country names unless there's a contextually important reason to do it.) That would seem to fix all the immediately obvious problems in that section, but two less obvious ones now bubble up: There's no explanation of the "PSI" non sequitur, and I cannot determine what organization this is intended to refer to. Second, I've been assuming that all these dates are actually correct, but now I'm suspicious, because how could he be attending KBS/AAADP in the Czech Republic from "1988 to 1994", inclusive, if he was in Switzerland in "1991"? It's possible it was some kind of study-abroad program[me], or it's possible he attended the Prague school two times separately (wouldn't be unusual). Do the sources elucidate? Maybe the Swiss date is really supposed to be 2001! That would seem to make more sense. If that does turn out to be the fix, then move that sentence to the end of this material and remove its "also". But we still need to know what "PSI" actually resolves to. — SMcCandlish☏¢ 😼 03:26, 14 April 2024 (UTC); revised 03:28, 14 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]
p.p.s. another issue is that the material does not seem to be supported by the single Czech source. I intended to check for copyvio or close paraphrasing, suspecting that the commas might be a Czech thing. But I can't find all of those narrative details anyway.
