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Some proposed changes

Information to be added under the section on Research. This paragraph should come before what is currently written under Research. This is an explanation of Dariush Mozaffarian's research interests and it is important to have this information before talking about his studies. This opening paragraph was on his page for a long time and was put on there by someone before my time. I had recently updated this section because it was outdated. I can re-word this section if need be. I am very open to your suggestions.

A cardiologist and public health expert, Mozaffarian’s research aims to produce high-quality, translational evidence on dietary priorities for cardiometabolic health, corresponding disease-specific burdens, and effective and cost-effective policies to reduce these burdens. His research investigations span epidemiologic studies, evidence syntheses, clinical trials, national and global demography, and policy analyses and implementation. He is a recognized expert in the field of diet and cardiometabolic risk, having authored or co-authored nearly 400 scientific publications on lifestyle and cardiovascular health, obesity, diabetes, and related national and global policies.

Oszabo01 (talk) 20:51, 15 March 2019 (UTC)

Comment Hi Oszabo01 and thank you for making your proposals here. So, do you want to replace the current text with this? If so, I just have a few constructive comments. Besides being paraphrased from here, I do not see what this adds to the article. A lead is meant to be a summary of the article (see MOS:LEAD) and in my opinion, these all seem to just be fluff words and can easily be summarized in much shorter terms. The current lead which reads "Mozaffarian has authored nearly 400 scientific publications on dietary priorities for obesity, diabetes, and cardiovascular diseases, and on evidence-based policy approaches to reduce these burdens in the US and globally" sums it all up pretty neatly. If you wanted to add this on top of the current text (like underneath it) I think that is too much. HickoryOughtShirt?4 (talk) 21:08, 15 March 2019 (UTC)
Hi. Ok, what about if I make it to the point and cut out what might be perceived as fluff, so it would read like this under his section on Research:
Mozaffarian’s research aims to produce high-quality, translational evidence on dietary priorities for cardiometabolic health, corresponding disease-specific burdens, and effective and cost-effective policies to reduce these burdens. His research investigations span epidemiologic studies, evidence syntheses, clinical trials, national and global demography, and policy analyses and implementation.
After this first paragraph, which introduces his research, we would then have the existing paragraph about his studies (I think that three or four studies are mentioned on his page). Would this be alright?Oszabo01 (talk) 21:26, 15 March 2019 (UTC)
Thanks Oszabo01 for the quick reply. I think that is much better but I don't love the "high-quality" part (I think that should be a given, who tries to produce low quality work?) How about:
"Mozaffarian has authored nearly 400 scientific publications on dietary priorities for obesity, diabetes, and cardiovascular diseases and effective and cost-effective policies to reduce these burdens. His research investigations span epidemiologic studies, evidence syntheses, clinical trials, national and global demography, and policy analyses and implementation. Mozaffarian has served in advisory roles including for the United States and Canadian governments regarding reducing obesity and healthy eating. In 2016, Thomson Reuters named him as one of the World's Most Influential Scientific Minds.

I removed all the media mentions listed before since most aren't listed in the article and the advisory boards aren't listed either. Also, I don't know who copied who but the exact copy of the lead is listed here. Finally, since the lead is supposed to summarize the article what ever is in it should be already mentioned in the article. What I proposed above would go under the first blurb. HickoryOughtShirt?4 (talk) 21:40, 15 March 2019 (UTC)

Hi! Actually, the paragraph that you are talking about is not the section that I wanted to edit. I wanted to keep that section as is, but since we are talking about it, let's address it. I see that you propose to change the structure of the sentences. I am very hesitant to do this because I am afraid of whether they would still be accurate. I would rather keep the sentences in that paragraph as is to ensure accuracy. In terms of the media mentions, I could site exactly where those media mentions are, would that be alright? Now, going back to the section that I do want to edit, the section on "Research", I can take out the "fluff", ie high-quality, in my proposed opening and make the opening for that section as follows:
Mozaffarian’s research aims to produce evidence on dietary priorities for cardiometabolic health, corresponding disease-specific burdens, and effective and cost-effective policies to reduce these burdens. His research investigations span epidemiologic studies, evidence syntheses, clinical trials, national and global demography, and policy analyses and implementation. Mozaffarian is principal investigator of the Global Dietary Database project, the TMAO and Initiation, Extent, and Clinical Onset of Atherosclerotic CVD project, and is co-investigator of the Economic Analyses of Policy Strategies to Improve Diet and Reduce CVD project.
The above proposed opening, which is meant to be an introduction to his research in the "Research" section, would then be followed by the existing paragraph about his studies within the "Research" section. I look forward to hearing your thoughts. Oszabo01 (talk) 12:49, 17 March 2019 (UTC)
Hi Oszabo01. There are two things I am commenting on here so I will break it down so you do not just get a giant wall of text. Firstly, the "lead" section (which I now understand is not what you initally wished to discuss, my apologies). The previous section on his research in the lead was removed by a Wikipedia:Administrators for being a copyright violation. Neither you nor I can access it now. I am hesitant to re-add the media mentions because it feels like resume bloating. I clicked on the Wikipedia category "ISI highly cited researchers" (which Mozaffarian is tagged in) and from my research, it doesn't seem like similar articles do that. Some cite scholarly journals but they don't list newspapers.
Now, for the second part of your comment. I would just propose some minor wording changes. For example, we like to use "as of" (see Wikipedia:As of) regarding dates (so, therefore, it would be "As of DATE, Mozaffarian is principal investigator...."). I also personally think "effective and cost-effective policies" seems redundant but if you like it that's fine. Lastly, and most importantly, if you could just provide some references to back up the claims above I think we can come to an agreement (you can just copy and paste the URLs on the talk page). I also want to thank you for your kindness and cooperation during this discussion. HickoryOughtShirt?4 (talk) 00:41, 18 March 2019 (UTC)
Hi, thank you so much for your patience. I am new to Wikipedia and I have learned a lot over the past week of what can, and cannot, be included in articles. Yes, I did notice today that that section was removed by one of the administrators. I had thought that as long as I cite my source, it would be fine to include, but I guess that is not the case. It's fine. Now that I think about it, I can understand why the media mentions were a problem.
In regards to the second part where I describe Dariush Mozaffarian's research, the text "Mozaffarian’s research aims to produce evidence on dietary priorities for cardiometabolic health, corresponding disease-specific burdens, and effective and cost-effective policies to reduce these burdens. His research investigations span epidemiologic studies, evidence syntheses, clinical trials, national and global demography, and policy analyses and implementation." is from his NIH biosketch. It is not published anywhere, so I would not be able to back it up. I can understand if I cannot use it. I can, however, back up that he is principal investigator for the Global Dietary Database https://www.globaldietarydatabase.org/about-us/core-team-members and for Food-PRICE https://food-price.org/our-people. The TMAO project doesn't have a website, so I wouldn't be able to back up that he is principal investigator for that project as well. It is only mentioned on his NIH biosketch and on his CV. In regards to the "as of" dates, I am actually not entirely certain of these dates for all three projects. Thanks again for your time and help. I appreciate the guidance I am receiving. Oszabo01 (talk) 03:35, 20 March 2019 (UTC)
 Done I have added the roles that could be sourced into the article. HickoryOughtShirt?4 (talk) 20:37, 20 March 2019 (UTC)
Thank you!! And before that sentence, can you add "Mozaffarian has authored nearly 400 scientific publications on dietary priorities for obesity, diabetes, and cardiovascular diseases, and on evidence-based policy approaches to reduce these burdens." The source for that is here https://nutrition.tufts.edu/profile/faculty/dariush-mozaffarian. Oszabo01 (talk) 02:16, 21 March 2019 (UTC)
I know this is annoying but you are going to have to re-word that since that is word-for-word copied from the source. HickoryOughtShirt?4 (talk) 03:16, 21 March 2019 (UTC)
"Mozaffarian is the author of nearly 400 scientific publications in the areas of dietary priorities as they pertain to obesity, diabetes, and cardiovascular diseases, as well as on evidence-based policy approaches to reduce these burdens." Does that work? Also, can you delete the word "project" for both Global Dietary Database and Food-PRICE? I think it sounds better not having the word "project" for both of those. Thank you. Oszabo01 (talk) 22:48, 21 March 2019 (UTC)
@Oszabo01: I have removed the double project, nice catch. I just don't want the content being cut as copyright violation again. Would this be an okay swap? "Mozaffarian is the author of nearly 400 scientific publications in areas concerning food consumption as they relate to obesity, diabetes, and cardiovascular diseases as well as creating policy and evidence-based approaches to diminish these burdens." HickoryOughtShirt?4 (talk) 00:32, 22 March 2019 (UTC)
I certainly don't either. I think that works. Can we replace "food consumption" with "diet" since it's not just food, but beverages too? Also, I would delete the word "creating" because some of these publications are on policies that were created by others, so using that word wouldn't be accurate. Therefore, it would read as "Mozaffarian is the author of nearly 400 scientific publications in areas concerning diet as it relates to obesity, diabetes, and cardiovascular diseases, as well as on policy and evidence-based approaches to diminish these burdens." Thank you for deleting the word "project" for both. I also noticed today that his personal life section was deleted. I am not sure whether we can get that back on there. I know it's important to him. It basically just said that he is married with three children and that he actively trains as a Third Degree Black Belt in Taekwondo. That can be worded in any way. The source for that is also on his faculty profile page. Oszabo01 (talk) 01:48, 22 March 2019 (UTC)
 Done If you wish, I can remove his wife's name. I was just trying to word it differently than the source. We don't name children per WP:BLPPRIVACY and WP:MINORS. HickoryOughtShirt?4 (talk) 01:59, 22 March 2019 (UTC)
Yes, I think for privacy reasons, it may be best to remove his wife's name. Also, "FOOD-Price" should be "Food-PRICE" and can you remove the word "Project" after that? Thank you. Oszabo01 (talk) 13:23, 22 March 2019 (UTC)
 DoneHickoryOughtShirt?4 (talk) 13:41, 22 March 2019 (UTC)
Thank you, but the word "Project" has now re-appeared after "Global Dietary Database". Can you remove the word "Project"? Also, I don't think the error templates apply anymore. I believe everything has been addressed. If everything has indeed been addressed, can you remove the error templates? Oszabo01 (talk) 11:38, 23 March 2019 (UTC)

I agree and have removed the advert tag. When I have more time today I will go through the external link to see if they're appropriate per WP:EL. HickoryOughtShirt?4 (talk) 12:53, 23 March 2019 (UTC)

Thank you. If there is anything inappropriate, please remove it from the article. Also, is it possible for you to add the following quote to the "Public impact" section: “As a cardiologist, I’ve been thinking about food—and how food is missing from the health-care system—for twenty years now,” Mozaffarian said. “One in four dollars in the federal budget is spent on health care. One in five dollars in the entire U.S. economy is spent on health care, and that is only going to go up until we address food.” The source is here https://now.tufts.edu/articles/healthy-diets-better-health. Oszabo01 (talk) 21:56, 24 March 2019 (UTC)
Could we preface it with something? Such as, "Mozaffarian has been critical of the lack of focus on healthy food initiatives. In January 2018, while at Congress to show his support for Food is Medicine, he stated, “As a cardiologist, I’ve been thinking about food—and how food is missing from the health-care system—for twenty years now.....One in four dollars in the federal budget is spent on health care. One in five dollars in the entire U.S. economy is spent on health care, and that is only going to go up until we address food.” Obviously, we do not have to use that but a preface would help make the quote not so random, as well as show the "public impact" piece.HickoryOughtShirt?4 (talk) 02:04, 25 March 2019 (UTC)
I would take out "Mozaffarian has been critical of the lack of focus on healthy food initiatives.", because that is very strong language. The rest sounds good though. I am fine with it reading as "In January 2018, while on Capitol Hill to show his support for the launch of a Food Is Medicine Working Group within Congress’s House Hunger Caucus, he stated, “As a cardiologist, I’ve been thinking about food—and how food is missing from the health-care system—for twenty years now.....One in four dollars in the federal budget is spent on health care. One in five dollars in the entire U.S. economy is spent on health care, and that is only going to go up until we address food.” Oszabo01 (talk) 00:12, 26 March 2019 (UTC)
 Done HickoryOughtShirt?4 (talk) 00:18, 26 March 2019 (UTC)
In the introduction section of the article, after "and Professor of Medicine at Tufts University School of Medicine.", can we say "Mozaffarian is the author of nearly 400 scientific publications and has served as an adviser for the US and Canadian governments, American Heart Association, World Health Organization, and the United Nations." The source is here https://nutrition.tufts.edu/profile/faculty/dariush-mozaffarian. Oszabo01 (talk) 23:26, 26 March 2019 (UTC)
@Oszabo01: Before I can add it to the lead, the content needs to be added into the body of the article. I don't have a problem adding in 400 scientific publications. My only issue is the article doesn't reflect that he has advised for the US and Canadian governments, American Heart Association, World Health Organization, and the United Nations. The lead is supposed to summarize the article, so facts stated in the lead need to be in the article itself. Are you are able to provide specifics (eg. "In October 2014, he was elected as an advisor for..)? If not, we can probably just add it under "Academic career" or "Research" phrased as "As well, he was selected to serve on advisory boards for the US and Canadian governments, American Heart Association, World Health Organization, and the United Nations regarding ...."HickoryOughtShirt?4 (talk) 23:41, 26 March 2019 (UTC)
I see. Ok, we can add the following to the "Research" section, after we talk about how he is principal investigator of the two mentioned projects: "As well, he was selected to serve on advisory boards for the US and Canadian governments, American Heart Association, World Health Organization, and the United Nations." Does that work? Oszabo01 (talk) 19:19, 27 March 2019 (UTC)
 Done HickoryOughtShirt?4 (talk) 19:29, 27 March 2019 (UTC)
Thank you. Under "Public impact" where it says "In January 2018, while on Capitol Hill to show his support for the launch of a Food Is Medicine Working Group within Congress’s House Hunger Caucus, he stated..." can you make this a second paragraph (so move it down one line) and can you delete "within Congress’s House Hunger Caucus" because reading all of it now sounds redundant. Oszabo01 (talk) 23:01, 27 March 2019 (UTC)
 Done HickoryOughtShirt?4 (talk) 23:02, 27 March 2019 (UTC)
Hello, I need to make a few updates to Dariush Mozaffarian's page. First, he has now authored more than 400 scientific publications. Can we update this in both the opening paragraph, as well as in the "Research" section? Second, in the "Research" section, we mention his Global Dietary Database and Food-PRICE projects. He also wants his other two projects mentioned - FORCE, and TMAO [1]. Are you able to add both of these projects to that section? The third, and final request, is that he wants to mention the recent "50th Anniversary of the White House Conference" events that took place in Boston and Washington D.C. this past October. He wants to make this mention in the "Public Impact" section and would like to cite the website, which is here https://sites.tufts.edu/foodnutritionandhealth2019/. He wants to give a brief description about the conference. I was thinking something like: "2019 marked the 50th Anniversary of the 1969 White House Conference on Food, Nutrition, and Health. To honor this anniversary, the Friedman School of Nutrition Science & Policy at Tufts University and the Nutrition Department at the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health co-hosted anniversary events in Boston and in Washington DC. Through panel discussions and keynote speakers, the conference reflected on the successes of the 1969 White House Conference, examined the current state of food and nutrition challenges and associated policies in the U.S. for health, food justice, and sustainability, and outlined policy solutions for the future." Oszabo01 (talk) 22:50, 20 November 2019 (UTC)

Some proposed changes

· Dariush Mozaffarian has now authored more than 400 scientific publications. Can we update this in both the opening paragraph, as well as in the "Research" section?

· In the "Research" section, we mention his Global Dietary Database and Food-PRICE projects. Can we also mention his other two projects - FORCE, and TMAO [2]. Are you able to add both of these projects to that section?

· Can we also mention the recent "50th Anniversary of the White House Conference" events that took place in Boston and Washington D.C. this past October? This would be mentioned in the "Public Impact" section and would like to cite the website https://sites.tufts.edu/foodnutritionandhealth2019/. Can we give a brief description about the conference, something like: "2019 marked the 50th Anniversary of the 1969 White House Conference on Food, Nutrition, and Health. To honor this anniversary, the Friedman School of Nutrition Science & Policy at Tufts University and the Nutrition Department at the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health co-hosted anniversary events in Boston and in Washington DC. Through panel discussions and keynote speakers, the conference reflected on the successes of the 1969 White House Conference, examined the current state of food and nutrition challenges and associated policies in the U.S. for health, food justice, and sustainability, and outlined policy solutions for the future."

Oszabo01 (talk) 20:58, 27 November 2019 (UTC)

  1. Neither of the references provided speak of the 400 scientific publications. If the claim is 400 publications, then please list them here — preferably along with their DOI's.
  1. We can mention his projects if they are independently notable in Wikipedia (which means they have their own articles on Wikipedia). If this is the case here, please provide the Wikilinks for these articles.
  1. The mentioning of the White House conference contains a large amount of information talking about the conference in depth, when the Wikipedia article is about Mr. Mozaffarian. A brief mention should be made, along with a description of the subject's involvement (were they a speaker, presenter, etc.). I think since Tufts was intimately involved in this conference, a source which is not from them would be preferred. The White House itself, for example, would work as a reference — or even better — one from the Washington Post, which surely covered the event. Regards,  Spintendo  23:42, 27 November 2019 (UTC)
For the more than 400 scientific publications, can you reference the following site that states this https://nutrition.tufts.edu/profile/faculty/dariush-mozaffarian? For the TMAO and FORCE projects, can we use citations with the citation having the weblink/url? For TMAO, the url is http://grantome.com/grant/NIH/R01-HL135920-01A1 and for FORCE, the url is https://nutrition.tufts.edu/research/projects-initiatives/force-fatty-acids-and-outcomes-research-consortium. With the WH Conference, the problem with using another source is that it took place in two different cities, on different dates (beginning and end of Oct). These were two separate events, and the website that I provided https://sites.tufts.edu/foodnutritionandhealth2019/ I think is the only source that references both events. I did a quick search, and the other sources talk about one or the other, but not both the Boston and the D.C. events. Dr. Mozaffarian was a speaker at both the Boston and the D.C. events. Should I say that he was a speaker at both events and that 2019 marked the 50th Anniversary of the 1969 White House Conference on Food, Nutrition, and Health. To honor this anniversary, the Friedman School of Nutrition Science & Policy at Tufts University and the Nutrition Department at the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health co-hosted anniversary events in Boston and in Washington DC. The events looked back at the progress made, and also charted a plan for the future? Oszabo01 (talk) 22:52, 10 December 2019 (UTC)