Talk:D (video game)/GA1
Appearance
GA Review
[edit]GA toolbox |
---|
Reviewing |
Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch
Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 20:53, 26 February 2017 (UTC)
I have this on the Saturn. Good game! I should finish this by tomorrow. JAGUAR 20:53, 26 February 2017 (UTC)
- Sorry for the delay. I'll have this finished by tomorrow morning at the latest! JAGUAR 20:16, 28 February 2017 (UTC)
- "developed by WARP and directed by Kenji Eno" - typically the opening sentence should be "developed by x and published by x", but since the game is essentially an interactive movie it suggests the director is important, so it's up to you if you want to keep it this way
- I think it's important to mention Eno up front. Sort of like it's hard to introduce a Metal Gear game without mentioning Hideo Kojima. I added the publishers to the following sentence, I think it flows best that way. When there's a complicated publishing history, it's hard to fit into the lead and keep the flow.
- All three paragraphs of the lead begin with "D"—try mixing it up by replacing one of them with "The game"
- Done
- Shift the gameplay screenshot to the left so it doesn't squash the text below the infobox
- Done
- "and so Eno felt that if it were not successful he would quit from game development" - how about abandoned the game's development
- From the source it sounds like he would quit the gaming industry all-together, not just abandon D. From the source: "When I was creating first major title D, neither I nor and WARP were famous. Nobody knew me. If no success, I had to close. D was my 1st and last game where I was like gambling while creating." I agree that my wording could sound better, I tried re-wording it but if you have a better suggestion, let me know.
- Thanks, I think it looks fine the way it is JAGUAR 10:34, 2 March 2017 (UTC)
- From the source it sounds like he would quit the gaming industry all-together, not just abandon D. From the source: "When I was creating first major title D, neither I nor and WARP were famous. Nobody knew me. If no success, I had to close. D was my 1st and last game where I was like gambling while creating." I agree that my wording could sound better, I tried re-wording it but if you have a better suggestion, let me know.
- "D is an interactive movie which features adventure game" - link interactive movie and adventure game here (gameplay section)
- Done
- " inspired by Polarware's Transylvania adventure game series for the personal computer" - personal computer sounds too broad. Was there a specific platform mentioned? If not, I'd recommend cutting "for the personal computer" entirely
- Source only says PC, removed
- " Sam Hickman of Sega Saturn Magazine" - from the
- Done
- " but criticized that the game for its lack of longevity" - but criticized it for its lack of longevity
- Done
A very solid and engaging article. It is well researched, well written, and properly sourced, so once all of the above are clarified then this should pass. Nice work on this! JAGUAR 11:49, 1 March 2017 (UTC)
- @Jaguar: Thanks for your constructive criticism! All points addressed TarkusAB 00:11, 2 March 2017 (UTC)
- Thanks for addressing them so quickly! By all means, promoted
JAGUAR 10:34, 2 March 2017 (UTC)
- Thanks for addressing them so quickly! By all means, promoted
- @Jaguar: Thanks for your constructive criticism! All points addressed TarkusAB 00:11, 2 March 2017 (UTC)