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Talk:Cyclone Alibera/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Juliancolton (talk · contribs) 19:43, 13 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Looks like a solid page at first glance. I'll add any comments I have as I go along...

  • In the first sentence, maybe adding "on record" would improve comprehension a bit?
  • Nitpicking, but I think MFR should be mentioned before the JTWC, to make it more clear that the JTWC is a "secondary" agency.
  • The storm shifted directions while moving generally southward - I'm not quite sure what "shifted directions" means. From where, to where?
  • After the storm, the Malagasy government requested for international assistance. - did they "apply for" or "request" assistance?
  • More the latter. RW at first said "THE GOVT HAS NOT REQUESTED INTERNATIONAL ASSISTANCE", but later said "GOVT APPEALED ON 19 JAN 90 FOR INTERNATIONAL ASSISTANCE". it wasn't an appeal, more of a plea. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 20:47, 13 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • The first named storm of the season, Tropical Cyclone Alibera formed on December 16 about halfway between Tromelin Island and Diego Garcia. - the syntax of this sentence threw me off a bit. Is it meant to be "[The first named storm of the season, TC Alibera,] formed on...", or [The first named storm of the season,] TC Alibera formed..." ?
  • In the MH, the JTWC upgrading a non-existent system to hurricane status needs to be presented a bit better by differentiating between operational advisories and the BT.
  • "equivalent of a minimal hurricane" in the lead, but "equivalence of a super typhoon" in the MH. Is that intentional?
  • The cyclone shut down the city's water system, disrupted to the ocean - ?
  • prevented ships from delivering supplies by ocean - I don't think "by ocean" is necessary, unless the ships were able to navigate rivers and deliver stuff further inland or something.
  • "also" is used four or five times in the third para of the impact section, making it seem a bit clunky.

That's about it. It's a short article, so I figured I could afford to be thorough. :) On-hold for now just to be safe, but it shouldn't take more than ten minutes to fix this stuff. I did a few minor edits myself, but as always, feel free to revert anything you disagree with. – Juliancolton | Talk 19:43, 13 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks! I did it in nine minutes :P Hope these work fine. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 20:47, 13 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]