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Talk:Croc: Legend of the Gobbos/GA1

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Reviewer: FunkMonk (talk · contribs) 11:13, 12 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]

  • I will review this soon, maybe we can get it done before your trip, if you have the time the upcoming days. I thought the controls in this game were hard as hell, so I'm not sure if I ever finished it, so maybe I will finally know the ending by reading this article... FunkMonk (talk) 11:13, 12 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • First, citations are not really needed in the intro, since it is only supposed to be a summary of the article body, and should not have unique info. Any info there is already cited in the article body.
  • The second fair use image could use a template like the main one has.
FunkMonk, what template would you suggest the image be put in? --TheSandDoctor (talk) 23:22, 14 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]
The same as the first image of the article. FunkMonk (talk) 13:13, 15 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • "a series of several courses" Sounds redundant. Either series or several is enough.
  • "Croc has a fairly simple set of moves" Simple compared to what?
A source would be needed. What does the source used say? FunkMonk (talk) 21:37, 17 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • You should introduce who Croc and the Gobbos are outside the intro too. The intro should have no info not found in the article body.
  • "much larger than the other Gobbos" Remove other, Croc is not a Gobbo.
  • "Croc: Legend of the Gobbos began life" Life? Strange way to put it, this is a game... Began development. Also in the intro.
  • " player controlled Yoshi" Introduce Yoshi. "The Nintendo character Yoshi" or such. Also in the intro.
  • prototype of the game and pitched the game to Nintendo" You don't have to say game twice in succession, you can say "it" the second time.
  • "Argonaut initially pitcher to Nintendo" Pitched?
  • "The voice talent for Croc" Not sure if talent is needed here.
  • "Notable for being an early example of a 3D platform game" You should state this under development as well, not just as a quote.
  • "and was first shown off at the 1997 Electronic Entertainment Expo in June 1997 as one of 4 games being shown off by Fox." You could say "presented" instead of "shown off" the second time.
  • "A commercial for Croc: Legend of the Gobbos was featured at the beginning of the VHS release of Casper: A Spirited Beginning." Why is it notable that it was shown in this particular movie? I bet it was shown in others as well?
  • "a suede/wool jacket, a leather backpack, a t-shirt, and a baseball cap." With prints from the game, or how are they related?
  • Went ahead and said "a copy of the game along with various pieces of Croc merchandise" to show that all of the apparel features prints related to the game, such as the logo, art of Croc, etc.TheDisneyGamer (talk) 22:38, 17 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Aggregating review website GameRankings The PlayStation version of the game holds an aggregated review score of" Something wrong with the sentence.
  • "Popular YouTube comedian" I doubt this is stated in the source, which is just a video. Also, this is way too much WP:undue weight for a single, much later review. Should be cut down to a sentence.
  • Three mobile phone games based on the game, developed by Morpheme, were released" When?
Oh, I'm here. Sorry , didn't notice your suggestions- I'll go ahead and add this page to my watchlist so I will actually see them. :)
Thanks for the notes/suggestions, though. I'm sorry I couldn't notice them way earlier- I'm unfortunately leaving tomorrow so I don't have much time to edit much of anything, but I will look through all of your notes and perhaps try to do whatever I can today. Feel free to add more notes while I'm gone, I'll try to have a look at them as soon as possible when I return. Thanks! TheDisneyGamer (talk) 16:04, 17 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]
That's all I have. So perhaps it's possible to fix them before you leave... FunkMonk (talk) 16:05, 17 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Ok, I might be able to get through all of them by tomorrow. I'm also gonna go ahead and note every change I make under each respective suggestion so I can keep track of which ones I've already changed as I go through your list.TheDisneyGamer (talk) 16:30, 17 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Yes, that is standard practice anyway. FunkMonk (talk) 21:37, 17 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • Alright, FunkMonk, it looks like I've just about went through all of your suggestions. Feel free to look through all of my changes I've made over the past 8 or so hours and cite anything you feel is still wrong with the article. Thanks much! TheDisneyGamer (talk) 22:57, 17 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Looks good to me now, so I will pass it. You should perhaps still look for whether the controls are compared with those of Mario 64 in some source, or consider rewording it. Also, the second image could still need the same description/fair use template as the infobox cover. FunkMonk (talk) 21:30, 18 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Alright, fantastic. I'm just returning from my trip and I'm happy to see that the article has passed. I will try to fix up the 2 things you mentioned when I get the chance. Thank you very much! TheDisneyGamer (talk) 20:33, 13 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
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