Talk:Croatian state right

Croatian state right is currently a Law good article nominee. Nominated by Tomobe03 (talk) at 18:50, 20 July 2024 (UTC)

An editor has placed this article on hold to allow improvements to be made to satisfy the good article criteria. Recommendations have been left on the review page, and editors have seven days to address these issues. Improvements made in this period will influence the reviewer's decision whether or not to list the article as a good article.

Short description: Legal concept in Croatian law

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Guild of Copy Editors

This article was copy edited by Wracking, a member of the Guild of Copy Editors, on 15 January 2024.Guild of Copy EditorsWikipedia:WikiProject Guild of Copy EditorsTemplate:WikiProject Guild of Copy EditorsGuild of Copy Editors

Copy editing notes

Hello, I copy edited this article as part of the Guild of Copy Editors' January drive. This copy edit was requested by Tomobe03. Thanks so much for your patience as I've chipped away at this task. Below are a few notes I took while copy editing this article; they mostly involve issues that were too complicated for me to tackle.

The concept was first applied by Josip Kušević in 1830 in the constitution based on town privileges.^[1]
- "the constitution" is too vague (what constitution?)—needs an indefinite article (a/an) or to be more specific about this document. Either change to "an article/a document" etc. or be more specific about what this is
The "Modern definition" section is sort of confusing to read; I'm not sure how this can be fixed. My main thoughts are (1) move the section to the end as this would allow the reader to gain more context with which to understand the modern definition (2) expand the section (why, for example, is Application of the Croatian state right [...] considered evidence of unbroken statehood of Croatia [...]?)
- Related to this issue, I've read the phrase the body of written and customary rules on the establishment and functioning of public authorities in Croatia so many times now and I'm still not sure what it means. Please define/specify or provide examples (either of such rules or how the concept refers to them). The most confusing part for me is the term public authorities—what does this mean?
Starčević argued that states form nations creating a "citizens' state" where all citizens would be equal, discarding the ethnic and religious criteria in definition of a nation.^[2]
- This sentence needs to be completely rewritten. I can't understand what it is supposed to mean.
- My suggestion, not knowing the original intent, is: Starčević argued that states should form "citizens' states" in which all citizens are equal and the definition of a nation does not include ethnic or religious criteria.^[3]

Of course, let me know if there are any questions or concerns.

Best, Wracking ^talk! 07:13, 15 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Wracking thank you very much for taking time to copyedit the article and provide this feedback. I addressed a couple of your concerns, and I'd like to ping you when I improve the remaining ones (the ones in the middle) for a quick second look if that is ok. Cheers--Tomobe03 (talk) 09:24, 15 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Tomobe03, Sounds good! Wracking ^talk! 21:56, 15 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]

References

^ "Hrvatsko državno pravo" [Croatian State Right]. Croatian Encyclopedia, on-line edition (in Croatian). Miroslav Krleža Institute of Lexicography. Retrieved 13 November 2022.
^ * Ramet, Sabrina P. (2006). The Three Yugoslavias: State-Building and Legitimation, 1918–2005. Bloomington: Indiana University Press. p. 39. ISBN 978-0-253-34656-8.
^ * Ramet, Sabrina P. (2006). The Three Yugoslavias: State-Building and Legitimation, 1918–2005. Bloomington: Indiana University Press. p. 39. ISBN 978-0-253-34656-8.

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Croatian state right/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Nominator: Tomobe03 (talk · contribs) 18:50, 20 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Lee Vilenski (talk · contribs) 16:43, 11 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, I am planning on reviewing this article for GA Status, over the next couple of days. Thank you for nominating the article for GA status. I hope I will learn some new information, and that my feedback is helpful.

If nominators or editors could refrain from updating the particular section that I am updating until it is complete, I would appreciate it to remove a edit conflict. Please address concerns in the section that has been completed above (If I've raised concerns up to references, feel free to comment on things like the lede.)

I generally provide an overview of things I read through the article on a first glance. Then do a thorough sweep of the article after the feedback is addressed. After this, I will present the pass/failure. I may use strikethrough tags when concerns are met. Even if something is obvious why my concern is met, please leave a message as courtesy.

Best of luck! you can also use the {{done}} tag to state when something is addressed. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)}

Please let me know after the review is done, if you were happy with the review! Obviously this is regarding the article's quality, however, I want to be happy and civil to all, so let me know if I have done a good job, regardless of the article's outcome.

Links

I took a look at four sources, but only one was actually translatable. I'll have to AGF on the others. Seems reliable enough, and what I saw in one seems to cover what is being cited to it. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 19:21, 11 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Prose

Lede

You have to read a lede sentence as if you don't know what the subject is. What does "legal concept in Croatian law that represents the entirety of Croatia's rules on the establishment and functioning of government and public administrative bodies" mean. Try legal concept in Croatian law which represents the countries rules on the government and public administrative bodies. Even that is a bit wordy for me. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 18:23, 11 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
It is also used^{[according to whom?]} Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 18:26, 11 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Current constitution. I have combined the sentence in question with the final sentence of the first paragraph since both address the same issue (sovereignty) - the latter stating that this is in reference to the Constitution. Done Tomobe03 (talk) 18:29, 16 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Its application is pointed out^{[according to whom?]} Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 18:26, 11 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
The first sentence says it is a legal concept, but then later it says that it's a coined phrase. Which is it? Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 18:26, 11 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Why is Dissertation in italics? Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 18:28, 11 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
It's the title of a booklet issued by Drašković anonymously and it is italiised per MOS:ITALICTITLE. Tomobe03 (talk) 18:15, 16 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Is it really the title though? Dissertation is just a word for a long format essay. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 20:34, 16 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
In general I think the lede could do with a bit of tidying up. It doesn't do a fantastic job of explaining what the subject is, which isn't great for a lede. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 18:28, 11 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

General

proposed and promoted - what's the difference in this context? Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 18:33, 11 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
None, removed the redundancy Done Tomobe03 (talk) 18:19, 16 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
We talk about stuff happening in the 19th century, then the 18th, why not chronological? Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 18:33, 11 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Reordered as suggested Done Tomobe03 (talk) 18:20, 16 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
the Sabor (Croatia's parliament)

magyarisation (assimilation to the Kingdom of Hungary)

I don't understand why we wouldn't put the thing we want to explain first, and then in brackets the technical name for it. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 18:33, 11 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Done Tomobe03 (talk) 18:19, 16 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

"political people", - when using a direct quote you should cite immediately afterwards. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 19:19, 11 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Done Tomobe03 (talk) 18:25, 16 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Review meta comments

I'll begin the review as soon as I can! If you fancy returning the favour, I have a list of nominations for review at WP:GAN and WP:FAC, respectively. I'd be very grateful if you were to complete one of these if you get time. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 16:45, 11 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for taking up the review. I'll be back to editing on Monday and I expect to address the issues you raised then. Cheers--Tomobe03 (talk) 19:15, 13 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

[LZMK-1] "Hrvatsko državno pravo" [Croatian State Right]. Croatian Encyclopedia, on-line edition (in Croatian). Miroslav Krleža Institute of Lexicography. Retrieved 13 November 2022.

[2] * Ramet, Sabrina P. (2006). The Three Yugoslavias: State-Building and Legitimation, 1918–2005. Bloomington: Indiana University Press. p. 39. ISBN 978-0-253-34656-8.

[3] * Ramet, Sabrina P. (2006). The Three Yugoslavias: State-Building and Legitimation, 1918–2005. Bloomington: Indiana University Press. p. 39. ISBN 978-0-253-34656-8.

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