Talk:Crash Nitro Kart/GA1
Appearance
GA Review
[edit]Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch
Reviewer: –MuZemike 22:04, 13 February 2010 (UTC)
- Prose issues
- As David Fuchs noted in his peer review, some of those paragraphs still seem a bit too long. Having paragraphs that are too long tend to drone on and lose readers' interest. Please cut down a few of those paragraphs to appropriate lengths (no fewer than four, but no more than nine if absolutely necessary).
- More specifically, the first paragraph in the "Characters" subsection, the "Story" subsection, and the first paragraph in the "Development" section need to be split.
- For that "Characters" subsection, I would recommend starting new paragraphs when each team is introduced. (It may be a bit on the short side, but it would keep readers on track, which what counts a bit more.)
- For that "Development" section, I recomment starting a new paragraph at the sentence Given the task of ...
- Looks good. –MuZemike 17:58, 19 February 2010 (UTC)
- More specifically, the first paragraph in the "Characters" subsection, the "Story" subsection, and the first paragraph in the "Development" section need to be split.
- In the story subsection, On Earth, Crash Bandicoot and his friends are relaxing while their nemesis, Doctor Neo Cortex, paces across his laboratory floor wondering how he can defeat the Bandicoots and achieve world domination. → a case of "noun plus '-ing'" here (the word "wondering" proceeding the noun "floor"). Try to tweak that sentence to remove that occurrence.
- In the "Reception" section, you have a few cases of misplaced end-punctuation with regards to quotations. Per WP:LP, the end-punctuation goes inside the quotation marks if that punctuation is part of the quoted material and outside if it is not. Please correct all these instances.
- MoS issues
- In the "Reception" section, some terms, including the magazines, need to be wikilinked upon the first occurrence (i.e. GamePro, The Official PlayStation Magazine, etc.). Please wikilink those publications on the first occurrence in the article only.
- Good. I helped you out on that one [1] so that you understand what I mean there. –MuZemike 17:58, 19 February 2010 (UTC)
- Print sources/magazines are always italicized (like GamePro), while web-only publications aren't. Please correct those instances of which they aren't.
- You have some overlinking in your citations with regards to the "publishers". Just wikilink on the first time that website/publication is mentioned in a reference and remove them for the rest.
- Image issues
- File:CNKGameplay.jpg and File:VeloAndFriends.PNG have weak fair-use rationales. You need to strengthen them, especially with regard to why they're being used and how they increase the readers' understanding of the context (see WP:NFCC#8).
- Fair use rationales look better. –MuZemike 17:58, 19 February 2010 (UTC)
- Other things to remember
Note: The following won't count against you in this GAN, but it should probably be done, especially if/when this article approaches A-Class or FA.
- Remember to add alt text in your images. See WP:ALT for more information.
- You should try to add the stuff backed by citations in the lead into the main body of the article. That way you can remove the citations in the lead (as well as the infobox) as that can turn off readers.
- For your references to the Instruction Manual (at least what I usually do for brevity and simplicity reasons), I would recommend using short citations and then, at the bottom of the "References" section, you can include the full citation of the manual. See how I did the citations in The Guardian Legend and Ninja Gaiden (NES) for examples.
- Conclusions
More coming, but that's something to get you started on right now. –MuZemike 22:04, 13 February 2010 (UTC)
- On hold. Otherwise, it's fairly well-written with consistent usage of citations. Everything also seems to be cited properly.
Passed. Nice work on the article. Keep improving it when you can as you have plenty of references to take from. –MuZemike 17:58, 19 February 2010 (UTC)