Talk:Crash Bandicoot: The Wrath of Cortex/GA1
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Reviewer: SNUGGUMS (talk · contribs) 03:32, 12 March 2015 (UTC)
- Lead
- "Its initial release was" → "It was first released"
- "instalment" → "installment" (typo)
- My spellcheck says the opposite. Is this because my computer is British? '''tAD''' (talk) 15:15, 24 March 2015 (UTC)
- The "Characters of Crash Bandicoot" links should be List of Crash Bandicoot series characters
- It would help to give Crunch's name during his first mention
- Done (moved things around) '''tAD''' (talk) 15:15, 24 March 2015 (UTC)
- "mixed to positive reviews" should simply be "mixed reviews"
- Sales figures and Xbox/GameCube releases should be included
- Included a sales figure. The other release dates were in before, but were a repetitive soup which is presented better in the infobox. '''tAD''' (talk) 15:15, 24 March 2015 (UTC)
- Gameplay
- All characters except for Crash and Cortex should link to "List of Crash Bandicoot series characters"
- Link Doctor Neo Cortex
- "Each level contains a 'Bonus Platform' that leads to a special bonus area, where the player must navigate through a maze and collect everything in sight. Once a bonus area is completed, it cannot be played again unless the level is replayed."..... while the description of the "bonus" stages is spot-on, not every level contains them (i.e. flight levels and Atlasphere levels).
- Replace "instructing Crash or Coco to collect" with "collecting"
- The "O" shouldn't be capitalized for "Game over"
- All done '''tAD''' (talk) 15:18, 24 March 2015 (UTC)
- Plot
-
- Characters
- See about note in lead about "Characters in Crash Bandicoot" links
- I'm not sure if "kindly" is a neutral description for Aku Aku, even though he is seen as the "good guy", or "evil" for Uka Uka despite being seen as the "bad guy"
- "A number of" is an exaggeration when listing four recurring villains
- "assistant" or "main assistant" would be better than "right-hand man"
- Something about "particularly" for "particularly Crunch" reads awkwardly
- "bad-tempered" → "temperamental"
- I'm skeptical about the use of "stick-in-the-mud"
- All done '''tAD''' (talk) 15:22, 24 March 2015 (UTC)
- Story
- "newly built" isn't really needed
- Rather than "unimpressive evil productivity", I feel it would be better to quote Uka Uka by using "track record for spreading evil"
- "and forces them"..... a more accurate term would actually be orders
- "genetically enhanced superweapon of unbelievable strength" should be in quotation marks
- "Uka Uka then tells the group a tale of a battle between the Ancient Ancestors and the Elementals"..... he doesn't so much tell a story about the Elementals as he does suggest using them
- "do away with"..... eliminate
- See above note in calling Uka Uka "evil"
- "snapping him out of" → "and releases him from"
- All done
- Development
- I'd add release dates here as well as GameCube announcements
- Reception
- ’ should be ' per MOS:QUOTEMARKS
- "Despite the less-than-stellar reviews" can simply be replaced with "Commercially"
- How many copies did the Xbox and GameCube versions sell?
- The Almightey Drill, this is my last concern; we're really close! Just add these sales and I'll pass. Snuggums (talk / edits) 16:07, 24 March 2015 (UTC)
- SNUGGUMS, this is proving much more difficult than I presumed. The closest I can find is this, which is user-created and thus invalid. '''tAD''' (talk) 16:43, 24 March 2015 (UTC)
- Understood, though everything else looks good. I'm passing now, well done :D! Snuggums (talk / edits) 17:38, 24 March 2015 (UTC)
- SNUGGUMS, this is proving much more difficult than I presumed. The closest I can find is this, which is user-created and thus invalid. '''tAD''' (talk) 16:43, 24 March 2015 (UTC)
- The Almightey Drill, this is my last concern; we're really close! Just add these sales and I'll pass. Snuggums (talk / edits) 16:07, 24 March 2015 (UTC)
- References
- FN4: "jp.playstation.com" should read "PlayStation.com" and not be italicized
- FN40: "Weekly Famitsu" should read Famitsu in italics
- FN's 41–52: Dates should be in Month-Day-Year or Day-Month-Year per MOS:DATE
- Two dead links
- Removed '''tAD''' (talk) 15:43, 24 March 2015 (UTC)
- Overall
- Well-written?
- Prose quality:
Decent, but needs improvements
- Manual of Style compliance:
Close, but not quite
- Prose quality:
- Verifiable?
- Reference layout:
Several need fixing
- Reliable sources:
All references are reliable
- No original research:
Dead links make things harder to verify
- Reference layout:
- Broad in coverage?
- Major aspects:
Could use some expansion
- Focused:
No excess detail
- Major aspects:
- Neutral?:
Almost
- Stable?:
Nothing to worry about
- Illustrated, if possible, by images?
- Appropriate licensing:
All good
- Relevance and captioning:
Looks fine
- Appropriate licensing:
- Pass or Fail?:
Placing this on hold for seven days. Main concern is prose. Snuggums (talk / edits) 08:33, 24 March 2015 (UTC)