Talk:Cookie (video game)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Juhachi (talk · contribs) 02:50, 16 September 2015 (UTC)

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

1. Is it reasonably well written?

   A. Prose is "clear and concise", without copyvios, or spelling and grammar errors:

   B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:

2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?

   A. Has an appropriate reference section:

   B. Cites reliable sources, where necessary:

   C. No original research:

3. Is it broad in its coverage?

   A. Major aspects:

   B. Focused (see summary style):

4. Is it neutral?

   Fair representation without bias:

5. Is it stable?

   No edit wars, etc:

6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?

   A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:

   B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:

7. Overall:

   Pass or Fail:

Infobox

• This image also needs an updated FUR using {{Non-free use rationale video game cover}}.

• Added JAGUAR  14:57, 16 September 2015 (UTC)

• The image caption says "ZX Spectrum cover art", but seeing as how the game does not appear to have been released for any other system, it should probably just be "Cover art".

• Force of habit, removed JAGUAR  14:57, 16 September 2015 (UTC)

• Arcade is a platform, not a genre

• I've removed arcade and added the action-platform genre JAGUAR  14:57, 16 September 2015 (UTC)

Lead

• Similarly, remove arcade from arcade-action here.

• Done as above JAGUAR  14:57, 16 September 2015 (UTC)

• "and attempts to escape" --> and attempt to escape

• Fixed JAGUAR  14:57, 16 September 2015 (UTC)

• "The game was written by Chris Stamper and graphics were designed by Tim Stamper." -- Place a comma between Stamper and 'and'.

• Done JAGUAR  14:57, 16 September 2015 (UTC)

• Cookie was one of the very few Spectrum games and the one of four Ultimate games" --> Cookie was one of the few Spectrum games and one of only four Ultimate games

• Rephrased JAGUAR  14:57, 16 September 2015 (UTC)

• • As a caveat to this, "and the one of four Ultimate games" in the original sentence is not supported in the body of the article, so either remove it from the lead, or add it to the article body with a reliable source.

• • Removed "and the one of four Ultimate games". I remember seeing the statement in a couple of print magazines, but it was probably for the review of another game I was working on at the time JAGUAR  14:57, 16 September 2015 (UTC)

• "A version was also created for the BBC Micro but was not" --> Place a comma between Micro and but.

• Done JAGUAR  14:57, 16 September 2015 (UTC)

• "with critics praising the graphics however criticising the hard difficulty" --> with critics praising the graphics, but criticising the hard difficulty

• Rephrased JAGUAR  14:57, 16 September 2015 (UTC)

Gameplay

• "from a single 2D perspective and the main objective" --> from a single, 2D perspective, and the main objective

• Fixed JAGUAR  14:57, 16 September 2015 (UTC)

• "from evil sentient ingredients." -- Place a comma between evil and sentient.

• Added JAGUAR  14:57, 16 September 2015 (UTC)

• "from; Mixed Peel" -- Remove the semicolon.

• Removed JAGUAR  14:57, 16 September 2015 (UTC)

• "who will jump out of the pantry" -- Does this mean all of them, or just Colonel Custard? Because if it's all of them, place 'all' between will and jump.

• All of them. I've rephrased to make it sound clearer JAGUAR  14:57, 16 September 2015 (UTC)

• "simultaneously, if the player" -- Place 'and' before if.

• Added JAGUAR  14:57, 16 September 2015 (UTC)

• "before they knock the player into the mix" -- You mean the mix in the bowl? If that's what you mean, they why don't just say "into the bowl"?

• Yep, mix in the bowel. Rephrased this JAGUAR  14:57, 16 September 2015 (UTC)

• "can shoot flour sacks which will push" -- Place a common between sacks and which.

• Added JAGUAR  14:57, 16 September 2015 (UTC)

• "the right variety ingredients into the bowl" -- Place 'of' after variety.

• Added JAGUAR  14:57, 16 September 2015 (UTC)

Background

• "The company were known for their reluctance" --> The company was known for their reluctance

• Fixed JAGUAR  14:57, 16 September 2015 (UTC)

• "one team would work on development whilst the other would concentrate" --> one team would work on development, while the other would concentrate

• Rephrased JAGUAR  14:57, 16 September 2015 (UTC)

• "and was scheduled for release in 1984, however it was" --> and was scheduled for release in 1984; however, it was

• Fixed JAGUAR  14:57, 16 September 2015 (UTC)

Reception

• "the most difficult of all Ultimate games" --> the most difficult of all games developed by Ultimate.

• Thanks, added JAGUAR  14:57, 16 September 2015 (UTC)

• "Mangham however," --> Mangham, however

• Added JAGUAR  14:57, 16 September 2015 (UTC)

References

• Change the accessdate in ref 5 to the mdy format used in the other refs.

• Fixed JAGUAR  14:57, 16 September 2015 (UTC)

Additional comments

• Overall, well done with this article. It should be easy enough to enact the changes above and then it should be good to go.--十八 02:50, 16 September 2015 (UTC)

• @Juhachi: thanks for the review again! I think I've addressed everything here. This is probably the shortest article I've sent to GAN, and unfortunately the length can't be helped due to the fact that old games like these were literally developed in people's attics (it also doesn't help that Ultimate was a very secretive company). I'm likely to make a few minor syntax errors when writing this up in one day, so thanks for pointing them out! JAGUAR  14:57, 16 September 2015 (UTC)

Good work again, though I once again went back and updated the FURs in the images as I did on Blackwyche. But everything else looks good, so I'll pass this one for GA as well.--十八 20:35, 16 September 2015 (UTC)