Talk:Computer City (song)

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Computer City (song) has been listed as one of the Music good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it.

Article milestones
Date	Process	Result
April 17, 2016	Good article nominee	Listed

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GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Computer City (song)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Carbrera (talk · contribs) 01:13, 17 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox

If the B-side track is called "Perfume", it must be in quotation marks

Lead

Paragraph 1

"was described as a..." → "is a..."

Paragraph 2

I would remove "from their album and their career" as it is a bit redundant
"Kazuaki Seki; it features the girls..." → "Kazuaki Seki and features the girls..."

Background and composition

Paragraph 1

Change "him" to "Nakata" in the second sentence
Yes, "Perfume" is in quotation marks here so change it in the infobox as well please

Paragraph 2

If there is a maxi CD of "Computer City", shouldn't it be included below in the "Track listings" section?
"Musically, "Computer City" is a technopop song, influenced by electronic music."
Add "Similarly," before "a staff editor at CD Journal labelled the songs composition as "addictive technopop"."

Critical response

Songwriting is one word
"they compliemted the song's "pop catchy" melody and its lyrical content."
I would change Amazon Japan to just Amazon since they're practically the same thing and there isn't a separate page for Amazon Japan since it's not notable enough
Each "review" for the track starts with "A reviewer from [...] was positive in their review [...] they stated..." Can you change this up a little bit? Perhaps start with the reviewer's company, then state the reviewer and then state if he/she was favorable or enjoyed the track, etc.?

Commercial performance

"group" → "group's"
What do you mean by "It lasted week"?
Again, "group" → "group's"
The last sentence seems a bit unnecessary and the source could be moved to the previous sentence

Promotion and live performances

Paragraph 1

Reword the first sentence to: ""Computer City" was used for a Japanese commercial promoting the television show Tokyo Brigade."
Move the aforementioned sentence towards the end of this section and retitle the section to "Music video and live performances" since it would be better fitted as so

Paragraph 2

"group" → "group's" because of ownership
"group" → "group's"
"group" → "group's"
Reword the last sentence to: "The song was performed on their 2009 Budoukan Tour in Japan, and eventually included on the tour's live on October 15, 2008."

Paragraph 3

"group" → "group's"
The mention of "segments" is very unnecessary unless you provide a detailed view of the tour's segments, please do some tidying up here so this section doesn't sound so repetitive

Track listing

Pluralize the section title since there are multiple formats please
Also, if you include the maxi CD you mentioned above, please add a colspan to this section to condense it

Credits and personnel

Change "parent" to the actual name of the album
What are the things mentioned in parentheses? If they are nicknames, they aren't necessary
Record label is not necessary here

Chart and sales

Pluralize title to include "Charts and sales" please

References

These all look good; great!

End of GA Review:

Another good article with some minor issues that need some attention. I will be placing it on hold so CaliforniaDreamsFan can look over my recommendations. Thanks, Carbrera (talk) 02:10, 17 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@Carbrera: Done and dusted! Regarding the Music video and live performances sub-section, you might wanna re-read that bit again because I've changed it to be a bit more concise, and not repetitive. Let me know if there is anything else. Cheers, CaliforniaDreamsFan (talk · contribs} 03:02, 17 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]