Talk:Columbus nightclub shooting/GA1
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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
Reviewer: Kavyansh.Singh (talk · contribs) 05:17, 1 January 2022 (UTC)
Nominator: GhostRiver (talk · contribs) at 18:49, 21 October 2021 (UTC)
Will take a look soon! – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 05:17, 1 January 2022 (UTC)
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Comments
[edit]Prose
[edit]to prevent another such incident from occurring.
→ "to prevent another such incidentsfrom occurring."with post traumatic stress disorder
→ "with post-traumatic stress disorder" (added hyphen)responding to a 911 call
— Can link it to 9-1-1Done and made uniform throughout the body — GhostRiver 16:34, 2 January 2022 (UTC)
250 fans had purchased tickets
— avoid start a sentence by a number.a 6 feet (1.8 m)
,6 feet 3 inches (1.91 m) and weighting 266 pounds (121 kg)
— feet is spelled but meter is in abbreviation. Same with pounds, kg.23-year-old fan Nathan Bray leapt
— avoid start a sentence by a number.where Abbott was pronounced dead at the age of 38.
— I'd remove "at the age of 38". Maybe make it another sentenceand he told his employer, Rich Cencula, that he was schizophrenic.
→ "and informed his employer, Rich Cencula, of his condition." ('schizophrenic' is repeated here)When Christina Grimmie was fatally shot by an obsessed fan during a meet ...
— which year?- The city of Columbus, Ohio template at the end of the article apparently doesn't has this incident linked. Either the article needs to be in the template, or the template doesn't need to be in the article.
Removed — GhostRiver 16:34, 2 January 2022 (UTC)
That is it! A very-well written article.
Images
[edit]- Image
sneed ALT text.
Sources
[edit]- Minor inconsistency in linking. News agency/website is sometimes wiki-linked, sometimes not.
- Few The New York Times sources need url-access-level=subscription
Added to the one NYT source I found — GhostRiver 16:34, 2 January 2022 (UTC)
- "New York, NY" should really be "New York City, NY"?
- Suggesting to add "|ref=none" in the further reading work.
That is it. I am struggling to nitpick. Excellent work! Putting on hold. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 18:53, 1 January 2022 (UTC)
- Kavyansh.Singh Everything should be addressed now, thank you for such a prompt review! — GhostRiver 16:34, 2 January 2022 (UTC)
- Nice work! Promoting! – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 19:22, 2 January 2022 (UTC)
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.