Talk:Colin Falkland Gray

Colin Falkland Gray has been listed as one of the Warfare good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it.
Review: October 7, 2020. (Reviewed version).

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GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Colin Falkland Gray/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Hog Farm (talk · contribs) 18:34, 4 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Link North Sea
Link Yorkshire at the first mention, not the second
"Flying another Spitfire, he had to make a forced landing when his engine was damaged following an encounter with Bf 109s over Biggin Hill" - This still on August 31?

Yes, I have clarified this a bit. Zawed (talk) 08:17, 7 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

"Gray was promoted to flight lieutenant in August 1941,[26] The same month" - Looks like this comma should probably be a period.
"Gray spent a short period of time at No. 485 Squadron, largely made up of New Zealand flying personnel before taking command of No. 64 Squadron," - Comma after personnel
"which was based in Algeria and was the first unit in the Middle East to fly the Spitfire Mk. IX" - Algeria isn't really in the Middle East

I see your point. I have rephrased this a bit. Zawed (talk) 08:17, 7 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

"Although he made no official claim for this encounter,[30], " - Drop the second comma
Link George VI.
Link Buckingham Palace
If his command served at Arnhem, should Market Garden be added to the list of campaigns in the infobox?
Is there a link for secondment? If not, can you briefly gloss it?
Is cause of death known?

Unfortunately no. Zawed (talk) 08:17, 7 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Given the relative length of the article, the lead's a bit on the short side.

I have expanded the lead a bit. Zawed (talk) 08:17, 7 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

While the DNZB source gives date of death as 1 August, the Independent gives 2 August

I think that must be in error - The DNZB says 1 August as does an online record for the cemetery where he is buried. Zawed (talk) 08:17, 7 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

That's about it. Placing on hold for these to be sorted out. Hog Farm _Bacon 15:08, 5 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the review. I have actioned the above and made a few comments as well. Zawed (talk) 08:17, 7 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]