Talk:Cleveland Indigenous activism

A fact from Cleveland Indigenous activism appeared on Wikipedia's Main Page in the Did you know column on 19 November 2020 (check views). The text of the entry was as follows:

Did you know... that Cleveland Indigenous activist Sundance successfully petitioned Oberlin High School in Ohio to change its school mascot from the Indians to the Phoenix in 2007?

A record of the entry may be seen at Wikipedia:Recent additions/2020/November. The nomination discussion and review may be seen at Template:Did you know nominations/Cleveland Indigenous activism.

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Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment

This article was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment, between 24 August 2020 and 11 December 2020. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Miaonl. Peer reviewers: Katey.P, Kardon99, Stringam, Jcichoke.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 19:09, 17 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Peer review

This is a solidly structured new article, that balances one highly covered controversy (the baseball mascot) within a longer historical context. You may find this to be a useful source for expansion; it discusses population, , and the Lake Erie Native American Council. Above all, whenever you find a particular organization or event to be of interest, research it relentlessly. For example, see what you can find about the 1970 BIA protests.

Here are some specific suggestions for improvements:

First sentence: There's no need for self-defining sentences like this one in the lead, see WP:LEAD for advice.
Re "Ohio had an almost nonexistent Indigenous population": narrow and make this specific to Cleveland and Cuyahoga County.
Make the mascot section as fully informed by the more detailed work at Cleveland Indians name and logo controversy following WP:SUMMARY style
You may find some sources on Cleveland Indians name and logo controversy that describe broader issues relevant to this article.

Best of luck to you.--Carwil (talk) 04:25, 2 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Did you know nomination

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Yoninah (talk) 16:12, 11 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

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Comment or view
Article history

)

... that Cleveland Indigenous activist Chief Thunderwater successfully helped to stop the destruction of the Erie Street Cemetery in 1925, moving the planned construction site of the Hope Memorial Bridge?
ALT1: ... that Cleveland Indigenous activist Sundance successfully petitioned Oberlin High School in Ohio to change its school mascot from the Indians to the Phoenix in 2007?

Created by Miaonl (talk). Self-nominated at 03:16, 2 November 2020 (UTC).[reply]

Comment on hook. Given the article title, you might want to rewrite it as "... that Cleveland indigenous activist Chief Thunderwater successfully stopped the destruction of the Erie Street Cemetery in 1925, moving the planned construction site of the Hope Memorial Bridge?"--Carwil (talk) 15:19, 2 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Yes, hooks must link to the DYK article. I added it. MANdARAX • XAЯAbИAM 19:04, 2 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]
There was another nomination for this article: Template:Did you know nominations/cleveland indigenous activism. I've closed that one, and copied that hook here as ALT1. MANdARAX • XAЯAbИAM 21:09, 5 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Article move to userspace versus filing date okay. Article length certainly okay at 13 kB (2026 words) readable prose size. Cite formatting could use improvements but sourcing is there. I spot checked a few places and no evident signs of copyvio. Neutrality is okay except for the full listing of the July 8, 2020 demands of Cleveland AIM – those should be briefly summarized, nothing more, otherwise the article looks like it is engaged in advocacy. No images to check, no QPQ necessary as this is a first nomination.

Regarding the hooks, both are okay with length (the first just makes it at 198 characters). I think ALT0 is more interesting, but it's a bit iffy on neutrality. The sources say the Pioneers Memorial Association stopped the destruction of the cemetery, and that Thunderwater was a member of the association who advocated preserving the cemetery. But they don't say that Thunderwater single-handedly stopped the destruction, which is what the hook implies. So I think the wording needs to be moderated a bit. ALT1 is accurate but kind of underwhelming, and the text on top of the link doesn't really convey what the underlying article is about.

In terms of the article itself, I think there is excessive sectioning which makes it choppy to read; you could just eliminate all the section headers at the ==== level. Regarding Chief Thunderwater, from the Osaukee tribe ..., I think you should give his name of Oghema Niagara as well. Regarding a Meskwaki warrior who fought in the Black Hawk War, both the tribe name and the war can be linked. Regarding the Washington Redskins changing their name in 2020, strictly speaking they have dropped their name, they haven't come up with a new one yet (unless they keep Football Team, which some people like). Regarding Recent polling shows ... and Recent successes of this activism ..., both of those sentences should be reworked per MOS:RELTIME. The article should be added to some Cleveland-specific categories, such as Category:Ethnic groups in Cleveland and Category:History of Cleveland.

Good work overall, just needs a few changes and should be okay for DYK. Wasted Time R (talk) 13:38, 7 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

The nominator made changes to the article and to the hook on 8 November, even though they didn't reply here. The ALT1 hook now makes sense and I have re-verified its length and sourcing. However I still think ALT0 is more compelling. The recommended changes to the article itself were all made. I've seen that there are some additional MoS changes that could be made to the article, in particular endashes instead of hypthens for year ranges and downcasing of article titles in the footnotes. But this is good to go for DYK. Wasted Time R (talk) 11:46, 11 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Wasted Time R: we don't promote names to the main page that aren't linked to an article, so I'm promoting ALT1. Yoninah (talk) 16:12, 11 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]