Talk:City Hall MRT station/GA1
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Reviewer: Epicgenius (talk · contribs) 01:27, 10 March 2022 (UTC)
Hello @ZKang123, I hope to look at this soon. Epicgenius (talk) 01:27, 10 March 2022 (UTC)
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Prose, POV, and coverage
[edit]- Lead:
North South (NSL) and East West Lines (EWL)
- It seems a bit strange to not fully spell out "North South Line" just before the abbreviation is given. My suggestion is "North South Line (NSL) and East West Line (EWL)".- Fixed.--ZKang123 (talk) 01:28, 11 March 2022 (UTC)
it is located underneath Stamford Road, near the junctions with North Bridge Road and St Andrew's Road.
- Near Stamford Road's junctions with North Bridge Road and St Andrew's Road? Also, "located underneath" can probably just be "underneath".- Fixed.--ZKang123 (talk) 01:28, 11 March 2022 (UTC)
Initially named St Andrew's MRT station
- Initially known by that name during planning? I assume for the cathedral or the road.- Yes, during planning.--ZKang123 (talk) 01:28, 11 March 2022 (UTC)
Construction of the tunnels between this station and Raffles Place
- This should be "Construction of the tunnels between City Hall and Raffles Place stations" if it's the segment between here and Raffles Place MRT station, or else "Construction of the tunnels between City Hall station and Raffles Place" if you meant the road instead.With the MRT extension to Outram Park station, the station opened on 12 December 1987.
- The word "station" is repeated in close succession. You can condense this to something like "The station opened on 12 December 1987 with the MRT extension to Outram Park station."- Fixed.--ZKang123 (talk) 01:28, 11 March 2022 (UTC)
ahead of the MRT network operational split with the eastern line extension to Tanah Merah station
- I know what you're trying to say, but the sentence structure is a bit confusing. Do you mean something like "ahead of the opening of an eastward extension to Outram Park station, which split the MRT network into two lines"?
- – Epicgenius (talk) 01:17, 11 March 2022 (UTC)
- Fixed above issues.--ZKang123 (talk) 01:28, 11 March 2022 (UTC)
- Great. Moving on to the history section now:
The station, then named St Andrew's, was included as in the early plans of the MRT network in May 1982.
- A couple things here. The word "as" in the phrase "as in the early plans" should be cut. The station was tentatively supposed to be known as St Andrew's but never operated under that name, whereas the current sentence structure implies that the station was known as St Andrew's while it was operational. On a related note, the name "St Andrew's" should probably go later in the sentence because the station itself has not been introduced. E.g. "The station was included in the early plans of the MRT network in May 1982 and was originally supposed to be named St Andrew's".It was later renamed to City Hall for historical reasons in November that year.
- "Later" is unnecessary as the month and year are mentioned anyway. Do the sources elaborate on the historical reasons?the Novena to Outram Park stations
- Either "the" should be removed, or another "the" should be added before "Outram Park".This segment was given priority as it passes through areas having a higher demand for public transport
- Do you mean "that had a higher demand"? Currently, the word "having" is present tense, whereas past tense may be more appropriate.The line was aimed
- This can just be "The line aimed".four 800 metres (870 yd) of tunnels
- This should be "four 800-metre (870 yd) tunnels".Construction of the station began on 7 September 1984 with a Christian ceremony
- Any idea what type of "Christian ceremony", or was it just a generic ceremony with Christians?
- More later. – Epicgenius (talk) 01:45, 11 March 2022 (UTC)
- For the first point... I think that was a typo (partly from copy pasting from an article elsewhere). Removed the "as".
- Fixed. No, not much. Added that it was also renamed to better reflect the locality served. Source in question.
- Isn't "the A and B stations" grammatically correct? Cos it sounds weirder if it's "between A and B stations", as though something is missing.
- Fixed
- Fixed
- Fixed
- Fixed
- From the source, it's implied that the ceremony was held with Christian rites, with prayers and bishops overseeing the ceremony.
- ZKang123 (talk) 01:55, 11 March 2022 (UTC)
- Regarding "the A and B stations", it is inconsistent (as one station's name has the definite article but not the other); however, it's not incorrect. I see your other points. – Epicgenius (talk) 02:12, 11 March 2022 (UTC)
The construction of tunnels between this station and Raffles Place station
- Similar issue to in the lead, I suggest "The construction of tunnels between City Hall and Raffles Place stations".The contractor decided to proceed with the cut-and-cover method for the construction project
- This can be condensed to something like "The contractor used the cut-and-cover method of construction"Due to the acidity of the Singapore River, a layer of concrete was added to the concrete frame around the tunnels, with a waterproofing additive for the base slab concrete
- So the concrete frame was strengthened, with this second layer being waterproofed? (Nothing wrong here, just wondering.)occupy 40% of the river width
- I presume this means "occupy more than 40%".the work was planned to go in three stages
- I'd replace "was planned to go" with "would proceed", which is less casual.Immigration Department site
- This being the Immigration Building? If so, I'd move the first mention of that building to here.- Above issues fixed.--ZKang123 (talk) 01:41, 14 March 2022 (UTC)
Immigration Building and the Cavenagh Bridge. These two historical sites
- Are these national monuments or another heritage register? If so, that may explain the need for close monitoring.- Yep there are considered as national monuments. See [1] and [2].--ZKang123 (talk) 01:41, 14 March 2022 (UTC)
- I would link uncommon engineering terms such as prestressed structure and settlement (structural).
- Done.--ZKang123 (talk) 01:41, 14 March 2022 (UTC)
the columns at the entrance was underpinned
- It should be "the columns were underpinned", but see below.After finding some cracks on the entrance façade of the Immigration Building, the columns at the entrance were underpinned
- This sentence has a dangling modifier. Either it should be active voice with a subject, e.g. "After finding some cracks on the entrance façade of the Immigration Building, contractors underpinned the columns at the entrance", or passive voice throughout, e.g. "After cracks were found on the entrance façade of the Immigration Building, the columns at the entrance were underpinned".- Done.--ZKang123 (talk) 01:41, 14 March 2022 (UTC)
The first stage of the construction was completed in May 1985, with a delay of seven months.
- Is any particular reason given for the delay?- As said earlier, the restricted work area and perhaps the design of temporary works did hamper progress.--ZKang123 (talk) 01:41, 14 March 2022 (UTC)
restrictions on the work length
- The duration of the work?- The work area. Fixed.--ZKang123 (talk) 01:41, 14 March 2022 (UTC)
mix use of cut slopes
- Should this be "mixed use of cut slopes"?- Fixed.--ZKang123 (talk) 01:41, 14 March 2022 (UTC)
Installation of the 2nd stage cofferdam began in May and works were completed in May 1986
- I presume installation began in May 1985, so you can just say the work took 12 months.- Done.--ZKang123 (talk) 01:41, 14 March 2022 (UTC)
Eventually declared safe for use, operations at the church resumed
- This sentence includes another dangling modifier. So something like "The church was eventually declared safe for use and operations resumed..." would work.- Fixed.--ZKang123 (talk) 01:41, 14 March 2022 (UTC)
Investigations revealed that it was entirely an accident, with all other safety measures observed
- I think this should go after the sentence about how he didn't have a safety belt fastened.- Fixed.--ZKang123 (talk) 01:41, 14 March 2022 (UTC)
to Outram Park station was officially completed
- Is "officially" necessary (i.e. was there an unofficial completion)?- Removed "officially".--ZKang123 (talk) 01:41, 14 March 2022 (UTC)
The station was part of a line service that ran continuously
- Instead of "line service", you can say "route".- Fixed.--ZKang123 (talk) 01:41, 14 March 2022 (UTC)
with the operational split of the MRT system
- While it is good that you put an explanatory footnote there, I would condense this, e.g. "when MRT operations were split".- Fixed.--ZKang123 (talk) 01:41, 14 March 2022 (UTC)
- Station details:
On the EWL, the station is after Bugis, while on the NSL it is after Dhoby Ghaut station.
- I assume these are to the north?- Yes.--ZKang123 (talk) 01:41, 14 March 2022 (UTC)
there were through services from the Yishun to Lakeside stations.
- You can say this in active voice, e.g. "through services operated from the Yishun to Lakeside stations."- Fixed.--ZKang123 (talk) 01:41, 14 March 2022 (UTC)
- Are there still switches between the tracks to theoretically allow through service from Yishun to Lakeside?
- I supposed so, though there isn't official documentation about the switches.--ZKang123 (talk) 01:41, 14 March 2022 (UTC)
the Mass Rapid Transit Corporation (MRTC) staff
- The word "the" can be removed.- Fixed.--ZKang123 (talk) 01:41, 14 March 2022 (UTC)
the station has three levels, two of which are island platforms
- Since the levels themselves contain tracks as well, you could say "two of which contain island platforms".- Fixed.--ZKang123 (talk) 01:41, 14 March 2022 (UTC)
- Is the other level the mezzanine?
- Yes, the concourse level.--ZKang123 (talk) 01:41, 14 March 2022 (UTC)
walking distance to Esplanade and Bras Basah
- This should be "walking distance of", and should it be "the Esplanade and Bras Basah..."?- Fixed.--ZKang123 (talk) 01:41, 14 March 2022 (UTC)
- – Epicgenius (talk) 02:31, 11 March 2022 (UTC)
References
[edit]References section:
"New names for eight stations". Singapore Monitor. 30 November 1982.
- Does this have a page number?- Other formatting looks fine.
Bibliography:
Information portfolio. Singapore: Mass Rapid Transit Corporation. 1984.
- Could any other information be added for this reference, e.g. an OCLC number?
Source checks forthcoming. Epicgenius (talk) 16:29, 17 March 2022 (UTC)
- NLB catalogue of the Information Portfolio.--ZKang123 (talk) 00:40, 18 March 2022 (UTC)
- Makes sense. I have spot checked some references and they all came up fine. Epicgenius (talk) 01:39, 20 March 2022 (UTC)
Images and copyright
[edit]- No image licensing issues. All pictures are by the nominator and are appropriately licensed, complying with relevant freedom of panorama laws.
- Copyright check also came up fine; the only matches were to common phrases or phrases that are hard to reword. Epicgenius (talk) 16:32, 17 March 2022 (UTC)
General comments
[edit]- "Esplanade Station" should be removed as a see-also link per WP:SEEALSO, since it's linked in the body already. Epicgenius (talk) 16:33, 17 March 2022 (UTC)
- Done ZKang123 (talk) 00:41, 18 March 2022 (UTC)
- Congrats, I will promote this to Good Article status now. Epicgenius (talk) 01:39, 20 March 2022 (UTC)
- Done ZKang123 (talk) 00:41, 18 March 2022 (UTC)