Talk:Central Province, Zambia/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Wizardman (talk · contribs) 13:41, 20 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]

I'll try and review this shortly. No excuse for noms from 2016 to still be sitting here. Wizardman 13:41, 20 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks. I will try to address the review comments as soon as possible.Ssriram mt (talk) 16:00, 22 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Here's what I found:

The ref for the Zambia book has a year of 2009 and 2010 in different spots; which is right?
"accounting to 10.05 per cent of the total Zambian population.." extra period.
"United National Independence Party (UNIP) was founded in the province" Add the to sentence beginning.
"Kabwe by Kenneh Kaunda," Kenneth Kanuda
"Mulungushi Declaration during 1968" add the to beginning.
"It provides connectivity to port in Tanzania from Zambia." to the port
" and shares border" shares a border.
", while it has a national park and three game management areas." not sure if while is the right word to use to split here; reword.
" Lukanga Swamps Is identified by IMF as a potential place for fishing industry. " would prefer a cite on that showcasing significance, since as is it feels kinda shoehorned in.

That should be enough to start, will do the second half of the article after that's done. Wizardman 14:40, 1 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Done.Ssriram mt (talk) 07:13, 2 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Some more comments:

"Precious metals are available in Mkushi area," in the
"Central Province had a population of 1,307,111 accounting to 10.05 per cent " Doesn't quite sound right as is; reword.
Anyway we can modify a bit of the language in demographics? It's sentence after sentence of "The x was at y per cent" and it gets dry really quick.
"Provincial administration is setup purely for administrative purposes." Um, ok? This is worded kind of.. obviously and I'm not really sure what it adds to the article, especially since there is a provincial president so I don't know if that's entirely accurate.
'There is a Deputy Premanent Secretary," Deputy Permanent Secretary.
The first Economy paragraph is really dated (as of 2004, as of 2005, etc.) any more recent numbers?
After the fixes, place this at WP:GOCE requests for further cleanup, because I think I probably missed more and I'm not quite comfortable where this is right now.

Done

Also unless I'm mistaken the issue I raised above (https://wiki.riteme.site/wiki/Talk:Central_Province,_Zambia#Itezhi-Tezhi) with Itezhi-Tezhi district still applies. If I have time I'll try to fix it soon, but if not, we can't really call it a good article until we get the province's boundaries and districts right. --HighFlyingFish (talk) 18:17, 9 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Done

"The Ikubi Lya Loongo festival celebrated" is celebrated
"Kafue National Park, the country's largest, shared with Southern and North-Western Provinces, Blue Lagoon National Park located in the northern part of the Kafue Flats, Kasanka National Park in the border of Bangweulu wetlands, South Luangwa National Park, Lunsemfwa and Lukusashi River valleys and Lukanga Swamp are the major wildlife and game areas in the province" You forgot 'is' about four times in this sentence.

corrected, but left it for GOCE for further corrections.

I'll put the article on hold until the issues are fixed and another independent copyedit is done. Then I'll revisit and hopefully at that point I'll be comfortable passing it. Wizardman 16:50, 9 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]

I have made the corrections and have nominated for GOCE - I am not sure if it would be picked up within a week.Ssriram mt (talk) 11:05, 10 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]

I'm okay waiting until the copyedit happens; I'm not comfortable passing as is without it so I'll hold until then. Wizardman 15:21, 10 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Wizardman, the GOCE copyedit has just been completed. BlueMoonset (talk) 05:12, 5 October 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks a lot BlueMoonset. Ssriram mt (talk) 07:02, 5 October 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Ssriram mt, I didn't actually do the copyedit myself, but I happened to notice that it had been completed. Best of luck with the rest of this review. BlueMoonset (talk) 16:18, 5 October 2017 (UTC)[reply]

The article reads a lot better now after the copyedit. Since it reads like a good article now, I'll pass this as a GA. Wizardman 20:07, 7 October 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks a lot.Ssriram mt (talk) 06:22, 8 October 2017 (UTC)[reply]