Talk:Calvin (horse)/GA1

GA Review

Unsuccessful. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 15:04, 15 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Lee Vilenski (talk · contribs) 09:32, 25 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, I am planning on reviewing this article for GA Status, over the next couple of days. Thank you for nominating the article for GA status. I hope I will learn some new information, and that my feedback is helpful.

If nominators or editors could refrain from updating the particular section that I am updating until it is complete, I would appreciate it to remove a edit conflict. Please address concerns in the section that has been completed above (If I've raised concerns up to references, feel free to comment on things like the lede.)

I generally provide an overview of things I read through the article on a first glance. Then do a thorough sweep of the article after the feedback is addressed. After this, I will present the pass/failure. I may use strikethrough tags when concerns are met. Even if something is obvious why my concern is met, please leave a message as courtesy.

Best of luck! you can also use the {{done}} tag to state when something is addressed. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)}

Please let me know after the review is done, if you were happy with the review! Obviously this is regarding the article's quality, however, I want to be happy and civil to all, so let me know if I have done a good job, regardless of the article's outcome.

Links

Prose

Lede

We all know that I am a walking knowledge font on horses, so that'll obviously be a benefit during this review^[FBDB] Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 10:09, 25 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Lede is very jarring. I feel like starting "was a Thoroughbread racehorse who won the ninth edition of the Belmont Stakes in 1875. Calvin also won two other stake races, the July Stakes in 1974 and the Jersey Derby in 1875." I do feel we could add at least a little about his birth and family. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 10:09, 25 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
If the lede wasn't so short, the bit about his death wouldn't be so jarring. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 10:09, 25 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Could we have a suitable link for "stakes races"? Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 10:09, 25 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

General

There's a lot of redlinks, whilst that's fine, we do need to confirm these are actually notable. I get that the stakes winner horses might be notable, but the two races might not be, as well as the owner. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 10:32, 25 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
link/explain foaled. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 10:32, 25 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Is Tipperary a fellow horse? Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 10:32, 25 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
was a brown stallion - it's a bit weird when talking about something's birth as characteristics in past tense. Maybe "Calvin was foaled in 1872 as a brown stallion sired by Tipperary." or similar. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 10:32, 25 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
There's a few glossary items that need linking. See Foaled above, but also stallion, sired, dam etc. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 10:32, 25 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
mare sired by imported Leviathan - this might need context. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 10:32, 25 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
As a two-year-old, Calvin won the 1874 July Stakes. - any more info on this? Realistically it's not much of a paragraph on its own. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 10:32, 25 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
2 minutes 40 1⁄4, can we not use decimals, or put this in text? The 1/4 seconds irks me. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 10:32, 25 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
1+1⁄2 miles (12 furlongs (2,400 meters)) - do we need to say this three ways? Presumably it was done over 12 furlongs, and then we need to convert this to either miles or km.
pounds (50 kilograms) pounds - duplication. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 10:32, 25 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
The winning jockey was Robert Swim - I feel like this could have been said when we said how much he weighed. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 10:32, 25 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Besides his win in the Belmont, Calvin also won the 1875 Jersey Derby - I feel like after a para about his Belmont, we shouldn't need to mention this race again. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 10:32, 25 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Review meta comments

I'll begin the review as soon as I can! If you fancy returning the favour, I have a list of nominations for review at WP:GAN and WP:FAC, respectively. I'd be very grateful if you were to complete one of these if you get time. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)}

Lee - I'm just ... not going to be able to get to this. When I nominated it back in the spring, I had time, but now that we're into fall, I'm into my crunch time with my computer game job and just do not have the time to devote to this. I'm sorry. I've tried for the last few days to get the time but it's not going to happen, and it's not fair to you to leave you hanging. Ealdgyth (talk) 18:34, 8 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Oh, no problem Ealdgyth. Drop me a ping when you do have time and want to nominate it again. For now, I'll close. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 15:04, 15 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.