Talk:Brunei at the 2012 Summer Olympics/GA1
GA Review
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Reviewer: DatGuy (talk · contribs) 11:45, 18 February 2017 (UTC)
Criteria
[edit]A good article is—
- Well-written:
- (a) the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct; and
- (b) it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.[1]
- Verifiable with no original research:
- (a) it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline;
- (b) reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose);[2]
- (c) it contains no original research; and
- (d) it contains no copyright violations or plagiarism.
- Broad in its coverage:
- (a) it addresses the main aspects of the topic;[3] and
- (b) it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).
- Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.
- Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute. [4]
- Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio: [5]
- (a) media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content; and
- (b) media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.[6]
Review
[edit]- Well-written:
- Brunei, as Brunei Darussalam, competed at the 2012 Summer Olympics in London, which was held from 27 July to 12 August 2012. I don't understand what as Brunei Darussalam does? Is it like Maldives and The Maldives? Is it the common name vs official name?
- Brunei Darussalam is the country's official name
- All three athletes failed to advance beyond the heat stages of their respective events but Mahusin and Lim achieved new national records in athletics and swimming. Needs a comma after events.
Done
- it had intended to do so, but was expelled on the day of the opening ceremony after failing to register any athletes. Even though the title says it, expelled is quite a strong word. Could it be changed?
- Changed to excluded
- Along with the three athletes the Brunei Olympic team's delegation was led by chef de mission Hj Mohd Zamri Dato Paduka Hj Hamdani. Needs a comma after athletes.
Done
- She qualified for the games via a wildcard, because her best time of one minute and 1.14 seconds, recorded at the Southeast Asian Youth Athletics Championships, was 13.59 seconds slower than the "B" qualifying standard for her event, the women's 400 metres Too many commas.
Done
- Mahusin took part in the contest's sixth heat on 3 August, finishing seventh out of eight runners, with a time of 59.28 seconds. Comma after runners is unnecessary
- Removed
- Overall she ranked 41st out of 45 athletes,[b] and did not progress into the semi-final after finishing 7.15 seconds slower than the slowest competitor who advanced to the later rounds. Rewrite sentence. My suggestion is Overall, she ranked 41st out of 45 athletes[b]. She did not progress into the semi-finals after finish
eding 7.15 seconds more than the slowest competitor, who advanced to the later rounds.- Rewritten as suggested
- After the games Mahusin stated she did not expect to set a new national record having been unwell before the contest but was proud of herself and hoped to compete at the Rio Olympics. Comma after games
Done
- Question: Is it a universality or an universality?
- The first answer
- Lim qualified for the games via a universality place awarded by FINA because his fastest time of two minutes and 6.40 seconds did not reach the "A" or "B" standard entry times for his event, the men's 200 metre freestyle,[17][18] signifying Brunei's first appearance in Olympic swimming competition Run-on sentence
- Rewritten
- He was drawn in the contest's first heat on 29 July, finishing third (and last) of three swimmers, with a time of two minutes and 2.26 seconds. Comma after swimmers is unnecessary
- Removed
- Overall he finished 40th (and last) of all competitors,[c] and was unable to progress to the semi-finals after finishing 14.71 seconds slower than the slowest athlete who progressed to the later stages Rewrite. My suggestion: Overall, he finished 40th (and last) of all competitors,[c] and was unable to progress to the semi-finals. Try and place the following part somewhere or just remove it.
- Rewritten sentence
- I believe début should not have an accent over the e, regardless of the etymology
Done
Brunei Darussalam - Why is it italicised? (Question, not asking to change it yet :))- Brunei, as Brunei Darussalam, competed at the 2012 Summer Olympics in London, which was held from 27 July to 12 August 2012. I suggest bolding Brunei and 2012 Summer Olympics.
Done
- Do not use nowiki to not link the last letter in links, such as "wildcards". See Wikipedia:Manual_of_Style/Linking#Piped_links
Done
- Verifiable with no original research:
- Great job on this one. Dat GuyTalkContribs 13:38, 18 February 2017 (UTC)
- Broad in its coverage:
- Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.
- Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.
- Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
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(b) (MoS) |
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Discussion
[edit]Please add any related discussion here.
- Second review! Dat GuyTalkContribs 11:45, 18 February 2017 (UTC)
- Thank you very much for the review DatGuy. I have taken action on the above points where appropriate. MWright96 (talk) 07:01, 19 February 2017 (UTC)
Additional comments (as the second opinion):
From:Brunei, officially as Brunei Darussalam,
To: Brunei, officially known as Brunei Darussalam,
I'll leave this between you two, but it is known as track and field pretty much only in the United States. Otherwise it is known as athletics.
- Changed to athletics. MWright96 (talk) 19:48, 24 February 2017 (UTC)
The punctuation in this sentence is not correct: The Brunei delegation included two track and field athletes: Ak Hafiy Tajuddin Rositi and Maziah Mahusin, and one swimmer, Anderson Lim.
Typo here: Mahusin was the flag bearer for the opening ceremonywhile
Is this sentence relevant for the background?: Brunei competed in the London Summer Games from 27 July to 12 August 2012
- I believe it to be so. MWright96 (talk) 19:48, 24 February 2017 (UTC)
Capitalize games: qualified for the games
All the other criteria seem to be met.
- @Kees08: May I ask if there are any other issues that need to be rectified? MWright96 (talk) 19:51, 24 February 2017 (UTC)
- I am good, you can ask @DatGuy: if he has anything else. Kees08 (talk) 19:54, 24 February 2017 (UTC)
Additional notes
[edit]- ^ Compliance with other aspects of the Manual of Style, or the Manual of Style mainpage or subpages of the guides listed, is not required for good articles.
- ^ Either parenthetical references or footnotes can be used for in-line citations, but not both in the same article.
- ^ This requirement is significantly weaker than the "comprehensiveness" required of featured articles; it allows shorter articles, articles that do not cover every major fact or detail, and overviews of large topics.
- ^ Vandalism reversions, proposals to split or merge content, good faith improvements to the page (such as copy editing), and changes based on reviewers' suggestions do not apply. Nominations for articles that are unstable because of unconstructive editing should be placed on hold.
- ^ Other media, such as video and sound clips, are also covered by this criterion.
- ^ The presence of images is not, in itself, a requirement. However, if images (or other media) with acceptable copyright status are appropriate and readily available, then some such images should be provided.