Talk:Blow Your Mind (Mwah)/GA1
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[edit]The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 08:58, 31 July 2020 (UTC)
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So I'm reviewing one of your articles once again; thought I'd do this since you have three song nominees currently pending review. --K. Peake 08:58, 31 July 2020 (UTC)
Infobox and lead
[edit]- Infobox looks good, apart from the lack of streaming under release formats
- "and it's producer Jon Levine." → "and its producer Jon Levine."
- "It was released through" → "The song was released for digital download and streaming through" with the appropriate targets
- Target single to Single (music)
- "and impacted contemporary hit radio" → "and later impacted contemporary hit radio"
- ""Blow Your Mind (Mwah)" is an" → "It is an"
- Target tropical to Tropical music
- Target synths to Synthesizer
- "was met with generally positive reviews" → "received generally positive reviews"
- "gave Lipa her first US Billboard Hot 100 entry, where it reached number 72." → "her first US Billboard Hot 100 entry by reaching number 72."
- "number 23 at US Pop Radio" → "number 23 on the US Mainstream Top 40 chart" with the appropriate wikilink since that is its name
- "It received a gold and platinum certification" → "It was certified gold and platinum in the US and the United Kingdom"
- "The song additionally entered..." remove this sentence
- "London's Barbican Centre and features" → "London's Barbican Centre, and features" with the wikilink
- "posing and walking around the area." → "posing in the area, as well as walking around."
- "The video is a" → "According to Lipa, the video is a"
- "Lipa also promoted the single with live performances at BBC Radio 1's live lounge" → "Lipa further promoted the song in 2016 with live performances for BBC Radio 1's Live Lounge" with the wikilink
- "and Karma Kid as well as an acoustic" → "and Karma Kid, as well as an acoustic" with the target
Done
Background and release
[edit]- "Levine also handling the production." → "Levine solely handling the production."
- "Lipa was inspired after" → "Lipa was inspired for the song after"
- "on 26 August of that year as the fifth single" → "and streaming two days later as the fifth single" with the targets
- "her eponymous debut studio album, along" → "Dua Lipa, along"
- "The song impacted" → "The song was serviced to"
- Add what dates the radio releases were
- "was also serviced to that radio format in" → "was released via the same radio format in both"
- "released 2 June 2017." → "released on 2 June 2017."
- Target acoustic to Acoustic music
- "Night Moves and Black Saint" → "Night Moves, and Black Saint"
- Mention the release dates of the acoustic version and remixes; maybe write the acoustic was simultaneous with the initial single release and then state the release date exactly of the remixes ep?
- Target handclaps to Clap
- Targeted to Clapping, Clap is a disambiguation page. LOVI33 16:46, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
Done
- LOVI33 That's fine, my bad with the mistake initially sorry. --K. Peake 17:38, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
Music and lyrics
[edit]- Target synths to Synthesizer on the audio sample text
- Sure you shouldn't expand the sample's text?
- Do you mean TimedText? If so, added. LOVI33 17:26, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- LOVI33 That is a neat addition, though I meant to expand the main text possibly? --K. Peake 17:38, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- It's already pretty long but I'll expand it, adding all the production elements mentioned in the paragraphs. LOVI33 17:43, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- "nu-disco song with tropical beats and" → "nu-disco song, with tropical beats alongside"
- "and span from" → "and range from"
- Doesn't the lyrics sentence belong in the ending para instead?
- Usually yes, but I was analyzing the lyrics from every part of the song so for the first paragraph, I just wrote it for the song as a whole, then the other paragraphs are about the different parts of the song.: verse, chorus, pre-chorus. LOVI33 17:26, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- "synths and echoing tribal drums." → "synths, and echoing tribal drums."
- Target verse to Verse (music) per MOS:LINK2SECT
- "at one time she wasn't." → "at one time she was not."
- Wikilink pre-chorus
- "was crazy for it as well as commenting how people think she's" → "was crazy for it, as well as commenting that people think she has"
- "have just gotten bigger." → "have only gotten bigger."
- "Vocally, she blows a kiss" → "Vocally, Lipa blows a kiss"
- "in the heat of an argument," → ""in the heat of an argument,""
- "meaning they've chosen her because they wouldn't" → "meaning that they have chosen Lipa because they would not"
- "Lipa addresses the person, stating" → "Lipa addresses the lover, showing that"
Done
Critical reception
[edit]- "Idolator's Rachel Sonis labeled it "feisty" and went on to say" → "Sonis labeled it "feisty" and said"
- "state that it" → "state that the song"
- "and "infectious"" → "and "infectious.""
- "Mike Nied of the same website labelled it" → "Mike Nied, also of Idolator, labelled the song"
- "Raúl Guillén of Jenesaispop however enjoyed" → "However, Raúl Guillén of Jenesaispop enjoyed"
- "writing it's" → "writing that it is"
- "named it the 73rd best song of 2016, praising it's combination" → "later named it the 73rd best song of 2016, praising the combination"
- "calling it's chorus "casual and fresh" and" → "calling the chorus "casual and fresh," while"
- "in-your-face" and" → "in-your-face" as well as"
- "called the song" → "viewed the song as"
- "criticized it's lack of longevity writing its" → "criticized the lack of longevity, writing that it is"
- "Rick Pearson for" → "Rick Pearson from"
- "as well as comparing it" → "and compared it"
- "and wrote it" → "and wrote that it"
- "concluded by stating "[t]here isn’t" → "concluded by stating, "[t]here isn't"
- "Billboard called the song" → "The staff of Billboard called the song"
- Shouldn't the closing para be ordered so the positive reviews come before mixed/negative ones?
- Re-ordered. LOVI33 17:40, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
Done
Commercial performance
[edit]- "In the United Kingdom, "Blow Your Mind (Mwah)" debuted at" → ""Blow Your Mind (Mwah)" debuted at"
- "becoming her second entry on the chart" → "becoming Lipa's second entry on the chart,"
- Add release year of the song in brackets
- "reached a peak of 30 and lasted for an additional eight weeks after that." → "reached a peak of number 30 and lasted for an additional eight weeks afterwards."
- "the song received a platinum certification from the" → "the song was certified platinum by the"
- "for selling over 600,000 units." → "for selling 600,000 units in the UK."
- "to eventually peak at" → "and eventually peaked at"
- "The single was more successful" → "The song was more successful"
- "and reached a peak of 15." → "and later reached a peak of number 15."
- "in Australia, where it reached a peak of 59." → "of Australia, on which it reached number 59."
- "In the United States, "Blow Your Mind (Mwah)"" → "In the US, "Blow Your Mind (Mwah)""
- "and only lasted one week." → "though the song only lasted one week."
- "it reached number 23 on US Pop Radio," → "it reached number 23 on the US Mainstream Top 40 chart," with the wikilink
- Remove target on Billboard
- "the song received a gold certification from the" → "the song was certified gold by the"
- "for selling over 500,000 units." → "for sales of 500,000 certified units in the US."
Done
Music video
[edit]Background
[edit]- Wikilink music video
- "and filmed in London's Barbican Centre." → "and filmed at the Barbican Centre in London."
- "Tawan Kedkong as well as Lipa's friends" → "Tawan Kedkong, and Lipa's friends"
- "Lipa stated" → "Lipa stated that"
- "It’s like the girl" → "It's like the girl"
Done
Synopsis and reception
[edit]- "through a megaphone with" → "through a megaphone, accompanied by" on the img main text with the wikilink, plus are you sure she was not singing?
- "speaking" → "singing". LOVI33 18:05, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- "The video opens with Lipa" → "The music video opens with Lipa"
- "the girls were noted for having individualistic appearances." → "the girls appear in a manner that was noted for being individualistic."
- The bench statement does not appear to be backed up, unless it has been worded differently and I did not look properly
- "They chew gum" → "The group chew gum"
- "blow bubbles as" → "blow bubbles, as"
- This sentence appears not to be backed up; I will not instate this for every sentence that has not been done so, I assume you can back any unsourced ones up yourself
- "where Lipa walks backwards singing" → "where Lipa walks backwards while singing"
- Target rainbow flag to Rainbow flag (LGBT)
- "and signs that say" → "alongside signs that say"
- "and "You Can Sit With Us."" → "and "You Can Sit With Us"."
- "goes to a roof top where" → "go to a roof top on which"
- "with the song's title" → "with the song's title on it"
- "Mike Nied of Idolator called the visual a" → "Nied called the visual a"
- "V, viewed it" → "The staff of V viewed the video"
- "Bianca Gracie stated the" → "Bianca Gracie stated that the"
- "In Coup De Main Magazine, Rose Riddell" → "In Coup De Main Magazine, Rose Riddell"
- "DIY stated that the video makes London look like paradise." → "The staff from DIY stated that the video makes London look like a paradise."
- My mistake for the unsourced ones. I sourced it all at the end because I didn't want to repeat the same citation so many times. It is the I Want My Pop Culture source. Should I add it in everywhere that applies? LOVI33 18:05, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
Done
Credits and personnel
[edit]- Promonews should be italicised
- Use
{{spaced ndash}}
so there is the right space between credits and personnel
Done
Live performances
[edit]- "in 2016 and 2017 as well as the" → "in 2016 and 2017, respectively, as well as at the"
- "in BBC Radio 1's live lounge," → "on BBC Radio 1's Live Lounge," with the wikilink
- "On 13 October, she performed" → "On 13 October of that year, she performed the song"
- "she performed the song" → "Lipa performed the song"
- "On 29 November 2016, she performed the song on American talk show Today." → "She performed the song for American talk show Today on 29 November 2016."
- "She also performed the song in a session" → "Lipa performed the song during a session"
- "she performed it in" → "she performed it for"
Done
Track listings
[edit]- Maybe add streaming to the titles of the digital downloads?
- Remove target on EP
Done
Credits and personnel
[edit]- Use spaced ndash so there is the right space between credits and personnel
- Sub-sections should be sub-headings instead
Done
Charts
[edit]Weekly charts
[edit]- Target Gaon to Gaon Music Chart
- Remove Ukraine per WP:CHARTS
- Are you sure the Venezuela chart is English?
- "Venezuela English" → "Venezuela"
Done
Year-end charts
[edit]- Good
Certifications
[edit]- Only double-dagger should be cited at the bottom of the table
Done
Release history
[edit]- Add streaming next to digital download with the target
- Digital download (second mention) → Digital EP
- Remixes EP → Remixes
Done
See also
[edit]- Good
References
[edit]- Make sure all of these are archived by using the tool
- Copyvio score looks great at 13.8%!
- Cite iTunes Store (US) as publisher instead for ref 5, removing the location parameter and add more citations with the formatting to back up that the release was various
- Replaced with media source, the song was removed from iTunes after the release of Dua Lipa.
- Cite iTunes Store (GB) as publisher instead for ref 10, removing the location parameter and add more citations with the formatting to back up that the release was various
- Do the same for ref 11
- de la Rosa, Manzanares → Rosa, Manzanares de la on ref 15
- Ref 22 should not cite the date before its title
- Fix MOS:CAPS issues with ref 25
- Add correct spacing for the note of ref 39
Not done, automatically that way per Template:Single chart
- Target Noise11 to Paul Cashmere
- Remove or replace ref 57 per WP:RSP
- Coup De Main → Coup De Main Magazine on refs 60, 66, 71 and 72
- Ref 75 archive appears to have been blacklisted by my laptop's security machine; also, a publisher is missing
- Cite Gaon Music Chart instead for ref 81 with the wikilink
- Wikilink Record Report on ref 85
Done
Final comments and verdict
[edit]- Unfortunately did not finish this today, sorry but I am really tired though will definitely wrap up the review tomorrow. --K. Peake 21:10, 31 July 2020 (UTC)
On hold after taking a look through at what was remaining. --K. Peake 07:03, 1 August 2020 (UTC)
- Hey Kyle Peake, thanks so much for reviewing this article. I have addressed all your comments. Is there anything else you need me to do? LOVI33 19:55, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- LOVI33 Much thanks, I fixed the issue with the ref in the music video section and you can take a look at that here. ✓ Pass time for this article now though after that brief copy editing! --K. Peake 20:27, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.