Talk:Beck–Fahrner syndrome/GA1
GA Review
[edit]The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: Fritzmann2002 (talk · contribs) 18:43, 17 August 2023 (UTC)
Good afternoon Arp 142, I will be reviewing Beck–Fahrner syndrome today. Unfortunately, the article is a long way from meeting one of the Good article criteria, and for that reason is not ready to become a Good Article at this time. I am referring in particular to criterion 1a: "the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience". Currently, the article is highly technical and difficult to read. Additionally, there are several sentences which are incomplete or are structured in a way that is grammatically incorrect. Wikipedia, and Good Articles in particular, should be written for a lay audience; that is, for those who do not understand the jargon of the specific field that is being written about. In particular, the long lists of symptoms and syndromes, the highly complex description of the genetics of the disorder, and the use of shorthand like "differential" make the article inaccessible to a general audience. Additionally, the final section on management is written in a manner that is nonconforming to Wikipedia's encyclopedic style, instead leaning towards the style of a how-to guide or a treatment handbook.
I hope that these brief comments give you a direction in which to continue improving and editing the article. It is a great start so far and gives solid information on a new and complicated syndrome! This is valuable material that I am sure many people are glad you have taken the time to compile. I hope that you will continue to put your knowledge and expertise to use and keep improving this article or others. If you have any questions or would like more comprehensive input on how to improve the article, or if you would like another review later once it has been improved, please don't hesitate to drop me a line on my talk page. I'm happy to help in any capacity that I can. Fritzmann (message me) 18:43, 17 August 2023 (UTC)