Talk:Beat of My Drum/GA3

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Calvin999 (talk · contribs) 17:57, 30 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

Info box

Provide a caption for the alt parameter, explaining what is it on the artwork.
Use {{Start date|2011|06|03}} for the release date. Done
Use {{Duration|m=2|s=56}} for the length of the song. Done
Songwriters actual names should be used for the Songwriter parameter Done

Lead

Resolved comments

→ "Beat of My Drum" is a song by British recording artist Nicola Roberts, from her debut album Cinderella's Eyes (2011). It was released as her debut single on 3 June 2011, via Polydor Records.
Again, writers should have their actual names listed. So, Diplo should be Thomas Pentz.
"However, the production was unsuccessful, and Roberts contacted Diplo, who then assisted, producing the final version of the song" → This could be better.
Do you want me to c/e the lead? Because It needs to be rewritten.

If you feel it needs to be re-written, go for it. But User:J Milburn c/e the entire article pretty throughly and I think it looks pretty good. But you are the reviewer so it's up to you! -FeuDeJoie (talk) 17:40, 6 February 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I've got absolutely no objection to copyediting going ahead. The article's not perfect. J Milburn (talk) 18:01, 6 February 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Okay. Also, could you perhaps put a

Done next to points you have...done please? I see you have done the info box points by looking at the revision history, but I wouldn't have known otherwise. Thanks. Aaron • ^{You Da One} 18:10, 6 February 2012 (UTC)[reply]

OKay. I will do this last. Aaron • ^{You Da One} 13:29, 10 February 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I have done a c/e.

Background and development

Resolved comments

"Before starting her solo career, Roberts was one fifth of the girl band Girls Aloud." → The band hasn't split up, they are still together.
"The experience led her to start to develop her debut album,[2] which, lyrically, reflected the difficult times she experienced in Girls Aloud." → Bad phrasing.
To be honest, this section needs copy-editing too. The flow is really bad. Aaron • ^{You Da One} 14:10, 10 February 2012 (UTC)[reply]
I've done a c/e. Aaron • ^{You Da One} 12:46, 5 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Release and reception

Resolved comments

"on air on sale" → What are the quotation marks here for? Done
method on 3 June 2011, the way that Universal Records, by which Polydor is owned, were releasing all of their new work at this time. → method on 3 June 2011. Universal Music, the record company which owns Polydor, were releasing all singles under this format at the time of "Beat of my Drum"'s release. Done
A means of combatting illegal downloading, the method was new to Roberts. → The reason for this was to try and reduce the level of illegal downloading of music, a system that Roberts was not used to. Done
After her time in Girls Aloud, she was used to releasing a song after around six weeks of promotion, including radio, television and print. → As part of promoting singles in Girls Aloud, she was used to releasing a song after approximately six weeks of promotion, which included radio interviews, televised performances and print work. Done
She said it was "very scary" to release a song without this publicity. Further, Roberts was concerned about the effect of this kind of release on chart positions. → As a result, Roberts stated that that the new system was "very scary" as she was not used to releasing a song with comparatively little publicity, and worried about how her "Beat of My Drum" and subsequent singles would chart. Done
In an interview published by Digital Spy, she said "I think it's harder for the public now because it's always been about the chart position. I also think it takes the excitement out of the charts because it's not a competition anymore."[8] → What does this have to do with the release? Done
Is the entire first paragraph support by that one reference (FN8) at the end? You should put a reference at the end of each sentence really, because at the moment it just reads like WP:OR. Done

The song has received positive reviews from critics. → "Beat of My Drum" garnered positive reviews from music critics. Done
Robert Copsey, writing for Digital Spy, gave the song → Robert Copsey for Digital Spy gave the song Done
A writer from website → Remove "website" Done
Lots of quotes, paraphrase some please.
Dean Piper of → Dean Piper for Done
Michael Cragg, writing for The Guardian, → Michael Cragg for The Guardian Done
in the United Kingdom → Remove Done

Accolades

It's only a short section so I copy-edited it.

Music video

I'm just going to c/e this one as well.
Need an alt description for the picture.
Need a source for Morgan as the director.
Make sure you include sources at the end of sentences.

Live performances

Roberts performed the song on 2011's T4 on the Beach, and this was her first live solo performance. → Roberts performed "Beat of My Drum" for the first time at the 2011 T4 on the Beach in the United Kingdom.
Asked whether she was nervous about the performance, she said she had → After her performance, the singer was asked how she felt it went, saying
I did a slight c/e of this section.

Formats and track-listings

Resolved comments

Remove the templates to make (iTunes pre-order bonus track) small. Looks out of place as everything else is normal size font apart from the writers for "Disco Blisters and a Comedown". Done

Charts

Change section title to "Chart performance" Done
Make a subsection entitled "Charts" Done
Put a comma after "United Kingdom" Done
the song → "Beat of My Drum" Done
on ~~the issue date of~~ 18 June 2011. Done
Put a comma after "week" Done
Put a comma after "64" Done
and continued falling in its third week placing at number 88. → and fell to number 88 in its third week.
falling is the present tense, fell is the past. This happened in the past. Plus, it makes more sense to read. Aaron • ^{You Da One}
Put a comma after "However" Done
on 16 July 2011, the fourth week it rose to number 76 and again in its fifth week where it charted at number 50. → the song rose to number 76 in its fourth week, and again to number 50 in its fifth. Done
the single → the song Done
on the chart, → on that countries singles chart, Done
date for Ireland? Done

Release history

Resolved comments

Link CD single Done
Link Polydor Records Done

References

First, the dates and accessdates should be written in a British English format, i.e 2 July 2011. Apply this to each and every reference.
FN1: Should be |work=[[The Sun (United Kingdom)|The Sun]]|publisher=[[News International]]
FN2: Should be |work=[[The Guardian]]|publisher=Guardian News and Media
FN3: Should be |work=''[[Digital Spy]]''|publisher=[[Hachette Filipacchi Médias]]
FN4: Should be |work=''[[MTV News]]''|publisher=[[Viacom]]
FN6: Should be |work=''Digital Spy''|publisher=Hachette Filipacchi Médias (No linking as this is the second occurrence of Digital Spy in the references)
FN7: Should be |work=''MTV News''|publisher=Viacom (No linking as this is the second occurrence of MTV in the references)
FN8: Should be |work=''Digital Spy''|publisher=Hachette Filipacchi Médias (No linking as this is the third occurrence of Digital Spy in the references)
FN9: Should be |work=[[Billboard (magazine)|Billboard]]|publisher=[[Prometheus Global Media]]
FN10: Should be |work=''[[Popjustice]]''|publisher=Peter Robinson
FN11: Should be |work=[[Daily Mirror]]|publisher=[[Trinity Mirror]]
FN12: Should be |work=The Guardian|publisher=Guardian News and Media (No linking as this is the second occurrence of The Guardian in the references)
FN13: Should be |work=[[Metro (British newspaper)|Metro]]|publisher=[[Associated Newspapers]]
FN14: Should be |work=Metro|publisher=Associated Newspapers (No linking as this is the second occurrence of Metro in the references)
FN15: Should be |work=Daily Mirror|publisher=Trinity Mirror (No linking as this is the second occurrence of Daily Mirror in the references)
FN16: Should be |work=''MTV News''|publisher=Viacom (No linking as this is the third occurrence of MTV in the references)
FN17: Should be |work=Billboard|publisher=Prometheus Global Media (No linking as this is the second occurrence of Billboard in the references)
FN18: Should be |work=The Guardian|publisher=Guardian News and Media (No linking as this is the third occurrence of The Guardian in the references)
FN20: Should be |work=''MTV News''|publisher=Viacom (No linking as this is the fourth occurrence of MTV in the references)
FN21: Should be |work=''MTV News''|publisher=Viacom (No linking as this is the fifth occurrence of MTV in the references)
FN22: Should be |work=[[Daily Mail]]|publisher=[[Daily Mail and General Trust]]
FN23: Should be |work=''Digital Spy''|publisher=Hachette Filipacchi Médias (No linking as this is the third occurrence of Digital Spy in the references)
FN24: Should be |work=[[BBC News]]|publisher=[[BBC]]
FN25: Should be |work=''[[iTunes Store]] (United Kingdom)''|publisher=[[Apple Inc.|Apple]]
FN32: Should be |work=''iTunes Store (Ireland)''|publisher=Apple (No linking as this is the second occurrence of iTunes in the references)

Summary

The references are pretty bad to be honest. It warrants a fail. But I will place on hold for 7 days. Aaron • ^{You Da One} 12:36, 5 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry but I am failing the article. 7 days have passed without an improvement. The references are quite poor and is a grounds for a fail in itself. If you amend this concerns when it best suits you are re-nominate, it should pass with next to no concerns. Aaron • ^{You Da One} 12:39, 12 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]