Talk:Battle of Neuburg (1800)/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Sturmvogel 66 (talk · contribs) 15:49, 22 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I'll get to this shortly.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 15:49, 22 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Can you provide a map of the area?
- Map is in the works, and will be available before articles goes any further.
Battles at Engen and Stockach were fought on 3 May 1800 between the army of the First French Republic under Jean Victor Marie Moreau and the army of Habsburg Austria led by Pál Kray. This bit should be moved to the lede, which needs expansion, and reworded to cover this battle.
Through a series of complicated maneuvers in which he flanked, double flanked, and reflanked Kray's army, Moreau's army lay on the eastern slope of the Black Forest, while portions of Kray's army still guarded the passes on the other side. To clarify, Moreau's troops were on the eastern side of the passes while the Austrians were on the western side? All of the Austrians or just most?
- Yes. He was always a step ahead as Kray withdrew.
This doesn't make sense to me. ; action principally consisted of the 25,000 man-strong French "Center", Do you mean to say that the center did the most and don't capitalize center.Y
- That is exactly what it means. I decapitalized.
At Höchstädt a few days earlier, a full Austrian Corps maintained a stand at Höchstädt until dislodged by repeated attacks of carabiners, curassiers and hussars, who took about 2000 of the Austrians and Würtembergers Put this in the section in chronological order and fix the wording. "maintained a stand" reads very oddly. Howzabout "successfully defended Höchstädt until"Y
All of the regimental names should be capitalized as they're proper nouns. And clarify what kind of regiments they are.Y
Missing a word here were grenadiers the 109th Regiment and here two divisions of Gudin and Montrichard
You've got a lot of what I would call extraneous detail covering the month of May, but nothing immediately before the battle itself. Please reverse the proportions. If neither side is actually doing much during June, then just say so and explain why.Y
Typo Montrichard's division marked toward
Link Ehekirch and PöttmesY
- Pöttmes is linked earlier in the sentence. ~~Ehekirch has no article.~~ It is spelled wrong in the source. I've linked to Ehekirchen.
Describe where the Austrians are positioned on 26 June.Y
Explain how this was relevant to the battle: At eight o'clock at night, after 12 hours of battle, companies of the 14th and 46th regiments (French) moved along a small road on the right of the village, and another group proceeded on the left.Y
Why isn't the 47th Brigade mentioned in the order of battle?
MG Paul Grenier's Left Wing What does MG stand for? And don't capitalize left wing.
- Major General. And Left Wing was the name of the military formation. Left Wing. Right Wing. Center. Y

Don't really think that the last paragraph or so in the Aftermath is really necessary or particularly relevant to the battle.Y

--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 00:41, 25 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Almost forgot, why provide full bibliographic info in your notes if you do so in your sources?
- Ja, it's what I'm taught to do.
Remember to use en-dashes for page ranges, not hyphen.Y
Be consistent if you're going to use publisher location and title case or not.
- some don't have location.
  - Still have title case missing from Dumas, no matter that that how's the book was published.
Is it Lodewyck or van Ess-Lodwyck? And this entry is confusing me: Lodewyk, Willem, Van-Es, The Life of Napoleon Buonaparte ...: With a Concise History of the Events W. Day, 1810 – France, pp. 31–35.Y

--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 00:47, 25 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry to take so long to respond.

Still think that you've got too much info describing the background of the battle; cut it down to a single paragraph or two.

cut it way down

How is the very last paragraph relevant?

cut it

in which the commander and the First Grenadier of France, Latour D'Auvergne, were both killed The commander of what? The regiment?

the commander of the regiment. I've not found his name anywhere. INclude in various memoirs. the First Grenadier was more important.

While not a requirement, please be consistent about providing bibliographic info in notes; some have them and other don't.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 22:30, 15 November 2014 (UTC)[reply]

They all have them in the first entry. I'll go through tomorrow and add in proper links. Too tired tonight. auntieruth (talk) 04:02, 17 November 2014 (UTC)[reply]