Talk:Battle of Long Island/GA1

GA Review

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Hi, I am reviewing this article for GA. I have done some copy editing which is hopefully ok with you. You are free to change anything I have done. Below are some comments regarding issues I am finding with the article. —Mattisse (Talk) 23:59, 9 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

Congress had sent Lee to South Carolina... -- not sure how this fits in, as the rest of the paragraph is about what Lee did in New York.
Fort Putnam was furthest to the left, with Greene in the middle and Box on the right. All of these forts were surrounded by a large ditch and they were all connected by a line of entrenchments. The forts had 36 cannon total, mostly 18-pounders.[17] Fort Defiance was also being built at this time, located further to the right, past Fort Box, near present day Red Hook. -- rather than use "right" or "left", it is better to use a direction, such as "east" or "west".
Due to a shortage of artillerymen, the commander of the artillery, Henry Knox, convinced Washington to 500 or 600 men who lacked muskets to the artillery. -- I am unclear what this means.
New York went into a commotion at the sight of the British ships, -- this could be worded better
The Continentals on the island took a few shots at the British before fleeing and the militia switched over to the British side. -- have you explained the difference between the "Continentals" and the "militia"?
On the 24 - there are several places were you give the day without the month. Some of them I have added the month, but some I am not sure what month is meant.
6 battalions - usually with numbers under 10, you spell them out. However, if you are using numbers consistently, a case can be mad for not spelling them. See MoS: Numbers as figures or words.
5 British ships -- never start a sentence with a number per MoS.
5 minutes after leaving the tavern, the 5 American militia officers stationed at the Pass were captured without a shot fired -- these number should be written out.
On the right, Stirling still held the line against Grant. - do we know which side was right?
it caused much celebration -- not common grammatical usage.
At 9:00 -- do you mean am or pm?
"Legacy" - since this is really a list of commemorations rather than a discussion of the "Legacy", it would be better to retitle it "Commemorative plaques" or something similar.
You need to go through the article, looking for the type of mistakes I have listed above. I have fixed many of them but not all. Also, read through it to make sure the story is clearly told, and that the reader knows the meaning of the words you are using.
I will continue to look for copy editing errors.

—Mattisse (Talk) 23:59, 9 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

There were three main passes through the heights; the Gowanus Road on the right, the Flatbush Road in the middle, where it was expected the British would attack, and the Bedford Road off to the left. - still using "right" and "left"
that night, the 26. - what month?
the American left had completely collapsed -- left flank?

—Mattisse (Talk) 01:52, 10 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Final GA review (see here for criteria)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): Well written b (MoS): Follows MoS
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references): Well referenced b (citations to reliable sources): Sources are reliable c (OR): No OR
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): Sets the context b (focused): Remains focused on subject
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias: NPOV
It is stable.
No edit wars etc.:
It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

Good job. Congratulations!

—Mattisse (Talk) 21:15, 10 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]