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Talk:Banksia canei/GA1

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Reviewer: J Milburn (talk) 15:59, 30 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

  • Sorry to always raise this issue, but in the lead and infobox, "Mountain Banksia" is capitalised. Is this deliberate?
I hate it when I miss the obvious...fixed Casliber (talk · contribs) 21:23, 30 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "the shape of adult and juvenile leaves" Ambiguous- do you mean the shape of adult leaves compared to juvenile leaves, or the shape of leaves between plants, in both adults and juveniles?
tried to clarify - there are four populations, which differ in both their adult and juvenile leaf shapes with each other. Casliber (talk · contribs) 03:30, 31 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "It has proven to be unreliable in cultivation, tolerating frost better than aridity or humidity." How is "tolerating frost better than aridity or humidity" proof that it's unreliable in cultivation?
oops, an error of juxtaposition. reworded as not causative, just observations. Casliber (talk · contribs) 03:43, 31 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "generally linear or narrowly obovate in shape, and generally" Repetition
first "generally" removed Casliber (talk · contribs) 03:43, 31 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "dentate"?
linked Casliber (talk · contribs) 21:51, 30 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "central woody spike or axis from" Commas after "spike" and "axis"? At the moment, this reads as saying that they can grow from one of two things- a spike or an axis- and I'm assuming that's not what you mean
comma + split sentnece. Actually "axis" is redundant too. Casliber (talk · contribs) 07:40, 31 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Cylindrical in shape, they are composed of a central woody spike or axis from which a large number of compact floral units arise perpendicularly to it and are generally 5–10 cm (2–4 in) high and 3–5 cm (1.2-2 in) wide, but some do reach 15 cm (6 in) high." Long and rather difficult sentence
agreed. split as mentioned above Casliber (talk · contribs) 07:50, 31 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • There seems to be inconsistency between # cm/# in and # cm (# in)
fixed now. not sure how those slashes got there... Casliber (talk · contribs) 02:22, 31 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Banksia canei first described in 1967 by James H. "Jim" Willis, after he collected it five years earlier on 27 November 1962 along the Mt Seldom Seen track in the vicinity of Wulgulmerang, Victoria.[5]" Tenses are a little odd, sentence is a little unwieldy
rejig -after he --> who Casliber (talk · contribs) 07:50, 31 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Victorian plantsman Bill Cane who had alerted authorities to the existence of an unusual banksia that was distinct from B. marginata some years previously" As phrased, that's a single noun phrase. It could really do with splitting, even if only with a comma after "Cane". Also, he worth linking?
Possibly - this lists his achievements, and he had a street named after him in Maffra. Casliber (talk · contribs) 12:10, 31 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "a basal member of the series Salicinae." A little technical
an early offshoot (plainer English) Casliber (talk · contribs) 07:56, 31 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "cotyledons" ?
it's bluelinked at the first instance...want me to write something as well? Casliber (talk · contribs) 21:49, 30 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • In distribution and habitat, is "form" a technical term? A link?
there are forms and there are forms - the term is used colloquially for any population with any sort of distinctive attributes, but also has a specific classification below "variety" (very fine). I will double check the source again. "population" may be a better term. I did link it in the first instance to form (botany) Casliber (talk · contribs) 10:59, 31 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • The map shows five areas (and, as an aside, the base image of the map could do with a link on the image page) while only four are listed
the snowy mountains form is disjunct. I was musing on colourcoding the four populations. Casliber (talk · contribs) 08:48, 31 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
base image was File:Australia Victoria location map.svg, now noted on commons. Casliber (talk · contribs) 14:54, 2 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The adult leaves of this form have prominently dentate margins, much more so than other forms which may have more or less entire margins with odd 'teeth' here and there." Odd phrasing
changed to "The margins of the adult leaves are prominently dentate (toothed), much more so than other forms which may have occasional 'teeth' here and there" Casliber (talk · contribs) 12:39, 31 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The species is listed as "Rare in Victoria" on the Department of Sustainability and Environment's Advisory List of Rare Or Threatened Plants In Victoria.[18]" Slightly out of place. Do you not have any other sources concerning how rare it is?
rejigged, and new page to replace deadlink found. Never seen it officially listed as "Rare" in any book I have on banksias (and I have all of them!) - still, intuitively it makes sense. Casliber (talk · contribs) 12:52, 31 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Banksia canei seed requires stratification, namely keeping at 5 °C (41 °F) for 60 days before germination takes place over 6 to 25 days." Clunky
tried a rejig. see what you think Casliber (talk · contribs) 10:55, 31 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Banksia 'Celia Rosser' could be merged here? It has some information that would add to this article, both about the cultivar and the parent species (type locality). Also, perhaps worth a mention in the lead?
There is some more specific discussion that relates to the cultivar that might be off-topic for the species - alot of it speculative. Actually I will think on that one. Casliber (talk · contribs) 08:44, 31 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
done Casliber (talk · contribs) 21:47, 30 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
hmm, how'd that get there....removed anyway (unless I find some new info...) Casliber (talk · contribs) 21:47, 30 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Perhaps two columns for the references?
done Casliber (talk · contribs) 21:47, 30 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Generally looking very nice, as usual. I made a few small fixes. J Milburn (talk) 16:35, 30 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Aargh, fantastic post-bushfire photo on cover of this...but no mention inside. Casliber (talk · contribs) 12:46, 31 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Has the name of the photographer... May be worth trying to contact? J Milburn (talk) 23:12, 1 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Second read through

[edit]
  • "near Kydra Peak." Where is this? Without a link, this information isn't particularly useful
agree. I will have to do some reading Casliber (talk · contribs) 15:49, 2 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Several disjunct populations of Banksia canei have been recorded across alpine areas of southeastern Australia, in northeastern Victoria and southeastern New South Wales, generally at altitudes of 500 to 1000 m (1500–4000 ft), with one outlier found on land partly cleared for agriculture at 250 m (800 ft) elevation at Yowrie." Long sentence that could do with splitting
split
  • "although the species has been little studied" Presumably with regards to the bushfire question? Or do you mean generally?
the former. Casliber (talk · contribs) 15:44, 2 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • And, again, making a call on whether to merge the cultivar article would be a good idea.
Yeah, I think you might be right. A redirect. Anything in the cultivar is in the main one now. Casliber (talk · contribs) 15:44, 2 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]

The article's looking great, and I'm happy to promote. Is this something you hope to take to FAC? J Milburn (talk) 15:06, 2 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Yup. I am adding about all there is to add on the cultivar that is known. Alf Salkin also gave me a photo of the cultivar, which as far as I know is the only one in existence - I am tempted to scan for FUR as the cultivar is now extinct as far as me, Alex George and Kevin Collins can tell....Casliber (talk · contribs) 15:44, 2 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Perhaps it would be worth contacting Salkin to ask for a release? J Milburn (talk) 00:09, 3 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Sadly, he died five years ago (lovely guy, nearly did get me killed - in 2003, I took him to an annex of Royal Botanical Gardens, Melbourne where he'd planted out many species of banksia and while we were walking around the place he nearly trod on a tiger snake (his foot missed it by <10 cm), suffice it to say I was, erm, scared....Casliber (talk · contribs) 00:56, 3 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Ah, that's a shame. A non-free use claim would be questionable in this article, as it doesn't vary all that much from the species typically- you'd have to make a call as to whether reader understanding was significantly increased by seeing the picture. In any case, the article's looking great, so I'm happy to promote. Good work! J Milburn (talk) 11:04, 3 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
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