Talk:Audrey Hepburn/GA2

GA Review

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Reviewer: Simongraham (talk · contribs) 10:43, 4 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

This looks, from a coursory glance, like a well-researched article on one of the leading icons of the 20th Century that will be of interest to a general audience. Thank you, ErnestKrause, for highlighting this to me. I will start a review soon. simongraham (talk) 10:43, 4 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

This article previously failed a GAR on 21 December 2011. The reviewer, TonyTheTiger, noted significant problems with citations.
The article is currently rated B.
There are many contributors and so authorship is broad, with 13.2% by TrueHeartSusie3, 13.1% by Stephenjamesx, 6.8% by ErnestKrause and the remainder shared amongst 579 other editors and bots.
The article currently contains 7,549 words of readable prose as well as an infobox.
Further information is given in other articles, including a List of awards and honours received by Audrey Hepburn and Audrey Hepburn on screen and stage. The latter is rated a FA.
The images lack ALT tags. Although not a GA criteria, adding them would enhance accessibility.

Alt image text added throughout the biography. ErnestKrause (talk) 16:07, 4 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Triage

Although the article has been substantially updated since the last review, it retains citation needed tags and has entire sections (for example Awards and honours) which lack adequate citing.

Added cite for UNICEF in Ethiopia. The main article for her Awards is at List of awards and honours received by Audrey Hepburn which has the related citations. When I did a full read-through of the Hepburn biography article, I did not see any other cite tags, if you spot any in the biography article then let me know. ErnestKrause (talk) 15:33, 4 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

There are other issue with the citations and bibliography. For example, there is a citation to Capote & Inge, 1987 but no corresponding reference in the bibliography.

Added to Bibliography. ErnestKrause (talk) 15:29, 4 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Earwig identifies a very high potential (98.7%) of a copy violation with content on a page on Elegancepedia[[1]]. This seems to be an almost word-for-word copy.

This appears to be a mirror of Wikipedia. When you look-up the Wikipedia FA for Gary Cooper, then Elegancepedia gives a nearly word-for-word copy of Wikipedia's FA article for Cooper. Looks the same for Hepburn. ErnestKrause (talk) 15:20, 4 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

@ErnestKrause: These need to be resolved before we can proceed with the GAR. simongraham (talk) 12:08, 4 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

@Simongraham: Nice of you to take on this biography article for Audrey Hepburn. The preliminary items you list above have been addressed and article is now ready for further comments and edits when available. ErnestKrause (talk) 16:11, 4 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

@ErnestKrause: It is a pleasure. I will continue the assessment. simongraham (talk) 02:13, 6 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Assessment

Rate	Attribute	Review Comment
1. Well-written:
	1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct.	Pass
	1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.	Pass
2. Verifiable with no original research:
	2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline.	Pass
	2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).	Pass
	2c. it contains no original research.	Pass
	2d. it contains no copyright violations or plagiarism.	Pass
3. Broad in its coverage:
	3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic.	Pass
	3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).	Pass
	4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.	Pass
	5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.	Pass
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
	6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content.	Pass
	6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.	Pass
	7. Overall assessment.	Pass

Review

Reviewed and edited. See note at end of section. ErnestKrause (talk) 17:58, 8 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

The lead is to cover the same data as the body but at a higher level of generality. I recommend removing the citation in the lead as MOS:CITELEAD and ensuring that all the data (for example, "She starred in the 1951 Broadway play Gigi after being spotted by the French novelist Colette, on whose work the play was based.") is covered in the body.
"Director Stanley Donen said that Hepburn was more free and happy than he had ever seen her" Is this a direct quote? If not, I believe it should be "freer and happier"
"Her longtime friend, fashion designer Hubert de Givenchy " Is it longtime or long-time?
"He said that his mother didn't take herself seriously, and used to say "I take what I do seriously, but I don't take myself seriously"." I believe there should be a comma before the quote marks.
I believe there should also be a comma after stated in "Jayne Sheridan has stated "we might ask 'Did Audrey Hepburn create Givenchy or was it the other way around?'"" too.
"Hepburn received numerous awards and honors during her career " If we are using British English, this should be "honours".
The citation "Loss of Dutch nationality ex lege: EU law, gender and multiple nationality" is incomplete. Please add the remaining data, such as the author's name as WP:CITE.
The title to the citation "=Still the Fairest One of All" needs amending.
"They had two sons, Jonkheer Arnoud Robert Alexander Quarles van Ufford (1920–1979) and Jonkheer Ian Edgar Bruce Quarles van Ufford (1924–2010), before divorcing in 1925, a year before Hepburn's birth." The citations are positioned after the subclause. Does they also cover the end of the sentence? If so, please move it to the end. Otherwise, please provide a citation.
The quote "Taking care of children has nothing to do with politics. I think perhaps with time, instead of there being a politicisation of humanitarian aid, there will be a humanisation of politics." needs context and a citation.

All the above comments now addressed in the subsection directly above. ErnestKrause (talk) 16:59, 8 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

The following also need citations:

"On Hepburn's birth certificate her father was stated to have been born in London. This was corrected in 1952 by her mother to "born in Onzic, Bohemia". Onzic is a misreading of Ouzic (German Auschiz), now Úžice in Czech Republic."

Remove anecdotal account. Keep cited portion with page number. ErnestKrause (talk) 16:59, 8 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you. That is much better. simongraham (talk) 07:15, 10 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

"She later admitted that she would have never accepted the role knowing that Warner intended to have nearly all of her singing dubbed."

This is already cited in the paragraph dealing with My Fair Lady. I could copy that citation to other parts of the article if you tell me which sections need it. ErnestKrause (talk) 16:59, 8 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I think it is worth repeating because it is ambiguous at best. simongraham (talk) 07:15, 10 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Parts of the current caption ('d') to that section could be added into the article; it currently reads as: "Overall, about 90% of her singing was dubbed, despite being promised that most of her vocals would be used. Hepburn's voice remains in one line in "I Could Have Danced All Night", in the first verse of "Just You Wait", and in the entirety of its reprise in addition to sing-talking in parts of "The Rain in Spain" in the finished film. When asked about the dubbing of an actress with such distinctive vocal tones, Hepburn frowned and said, "You could tell, couldn't you? And there was Rex, recording all his songs as he acted ... next time —" She bit her lip to prevent her saying more.[74] She later admitted that she would have never accepted the role knowing that Warner intended to have nearly all of her singing dubbed." ErnestKrause (talk) 15:49, 11 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

"she learned six languages: Dutch and English from her parents, and later varying degrees of French, German, Spanish, and Italian."

Anecdotal rendering. All her films were in English. ErnestKrause (talk) 16:59, 8 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

What a shame. I thought was an interesting potential DYK. simongraham (talk) 07:15, 10 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

"She was nominated for the Academy Award for Best Actress for her performance."

Added TNYT cite. ErnestKrause (talk) 16:59, 8 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

"Andrews won an Academy Award for Mary Poppins at the 1964 37th Academy Awards, but Hepburn was not even nominated. On the other hand, Hepburn did receive Best Actress nominations for both Golden Globe and New York Film Critics Circle awards."

TNYT cite added. ErnestKrause (talk) 17:36, 8 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you. simongraham (talk) 00:14, 13 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

"Fearing her father's exposure, she sets out to steal one of his "priceless" statues with the help of a man played by Peter O'Toole."

The film article Plot section for Wikipedia is already linked. Add more cites? ErnestKrause (talk) 17:36, 8 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

This needs to be explicit here. The rest of the paragraph needs a look too. For example, please can you also replace the Screenland citation here. simongraham (talk) 07:15, 10 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Rewriting the plot summary. ErnestKrause (talk) 15:49, 11 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you. simongraham (talk) 00:14, 13 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

"She and Ferrer had a son, Sean Hepburn Ferrer."

Cite added. ErnestKrause (talk) 17:36, 8 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

"A subsequent London auction of Hepburn's film wardrobe in December 2009 raised £270,200, including £60,000 for the black Chantilly lace cocktail gown from How to Steal a Million."

Add cite for film. ErnestKrause (talk) 17:36, 8 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

The information on her relationship with Andrea Dotti (up to her affair with Gazzara).

Add cite for film. ErnestKrause (talk) 17:36, 8 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

The first paragraph of the section 1968–1993: Semi-retirement and final projects.

Add cites for final films. ErnestKrause (talk) 17:36, 8 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

The section Awards and honours.

Add 3 cites. This is a brief intro paragraph for purposes of introducing the linked article with multiple citations. ErnestKrause (talk) 17:36, 8 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

A good point. Actually, there is little here that is not above. Would a summary table be more appropriate than narrative? On reflection, the same could be true of the preceding section Filmography and stage roles. simongraham (talk) 07:15, 10 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

A summary table within the linked articles might work, though getting people to link to companion article by using simple prose here seems to be a good approach. ErnestKrause (talk) 15:49, 11 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

In this case, I concur. simongraham (talk) 00:14, 13 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

The citation "Capote & Inge; 1987" has no bibliographic reference.

This should be the first item in the Bibliography list now as Capote Conversations. ErnestKrause (talk) 00:29, 7 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I think "Walter 1997" is the same as "Walker 1997". Please reconcile them.

Alexander Walker. ErnestKrause (talk) 17:36, 8 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Please amend "Gitlin 2008" to "Gitlin 2009".

2009. ErnestKrause (talk) 17:58, 8 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Please check the links. For example, the Rare Disease Day link no longer works and audreyhepburn.com is no longer a valid URL.

Delete non-existing cites. Replace citations. ErnestKrause (talk) 17:58, 8 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Please confirm that Pseudomyxoma Survivor is a reliable source.

Special interest groups following one diagnosis are fairly common on the internet and usually reliable sources as promoting the health interests of their followers. ErnestKrause (talk) 17:58, 8 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

That seems fair. Is there any guidance to back this up? simongraham (talk) 07:15, 10 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Presently relying on the Wikipedia link to the disease itself. If needed I could add another citation here. ErnestKrause (talk) 15:49, 11 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

The link "Behind Audrey Hepburn and Mel Ferrer's Breakup" goes to a dead link that is not Screenland. Please update the citation to a reliable source.

The Obituary for Ferrer seems the most reliable source for this from Great Britain. ErnestKrause (talk) 17:58, 8 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Excellent news. Please can you amend the citation accordingly. simongraham (talk) 07:15, 10 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Currently its footnote "111" which reads: The Daily Telegraph. 4 June 2008. ErnestKrause (talk) 16:16, 11 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

That is helpful. simongraham (talk) 00:14, 13 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

@ErnestKrause: Please ping me when you would like me to look again. simongraham (talk) 02:21, 6 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

@Simongraham: Ready for next set of comments when available. ErnestKrause (talk) 17:58, 8 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

@ErnestKrause: Great job. There are only a few more.

"As a result of her multinational background and travelling with her family due to her father's job." This is only a clause rather than a sentence.

Rewrite of sentence following the citation. ErnestKrause (talk) 16:16, 11 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you. simongraham (talk) 00:14, 13 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

"A review in Variety reads: "Hepburn has her most demanding film role, and she gives her finest performance"" needs the relevant citation.

Add Dec 31, 1958 Variety citation. ErnestKrause (talk) 16:16, 11 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you. simongraham (talk) 00:14, 13 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

"Hepburn was considered by some to be one of the most beautiful women of all time, she was ranked as the third greatest screen legend in American cinema by the American Film Institute" appears a run-on sentence. Also, "by some" needs to be clarified, and what other people thought of her looks needs to be put into a context, for example, how that impacted her career or her view of herself or it seems too bare and irrelevant.

Rewrite sentence for context and examples about "Accolades of her stylishness and attractiveness." ErnestKrause (talk) 16:16, 11 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

That is helpful. simongraham (talk) 00:14, 13 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I have also made a few other comments above. I think once this is resolved, we are good for the definitive review. simongraham (talk) 07:15, 10 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

@Simongraham: Ready for next set of comments when available. ErnestKrause (talk) 16:16, 11 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

@ErnestKrause: Excellent work. I will come back to you shortly. simongraham (talk) 00:14, 13 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

@ErnestKrause: Congratulations. This article meets the criteria to be a Good Article. I suggest that you take a look and see if there is an interesting fact which could be submitted to DYK. simongraham (talk) 21:35, 14 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]